Mom
“…….we’re trying to put together a family memories thing for Mom’s service. Do you have anything you’d like to share? I spent most of my early days with Dad and I was as we all know very self-absorbed so have really no idea what was going on around the perimeter of my little circle of vanity…….”
The little blurb above from my sister made me laugh. All of us were very self absorbed while growing up. Mom was always in the background, busy busy busy, but gently steering us in the right directions, even if we didn’t know it. We’ve received many beautiful comments from family and friends who were lucky to have had our mom in their lives. Here’s a few in random order, not mentioning their authors, and hoping no one takes offense at my making their private messages a little more public.
I am so sorry to hear this, your mother was one of the kindest, nicest people I knew, she will be missed a great deal, it seemed like Aunt Margaret has always been around, and I always looked forward to seeing her and your dad.
I am so sorry for your loss…..
“Thank you so much for keeping me posted when there were many others to call and update.
Thank you for sharing your mom with so many of us who knew what an incredible woman, mother, aunt, sister and friend she was to so many.
Thank you for showing the rest of us how real love in a family is shown.
Thank you for the wonderful memories I have of spending time with all of you when I was growing up for I have some powerfully loving memories of your home.
Please know that we will miss your mom with all of our hearts. If there is anything we can do down in these parts please don’t hesitate to ask (and I mean that).
I’m so sorry to hear about your Mom. I’ll always remember her energy and enthusiasm. I’m sure your dad will find this really hard.
I am so sorry to hear about Aunt Margaret’s passing! She was such a beautiful, kind, and caring person. Aunt Margaret was certainly a favourite of mine as is your Dad. I still use the quilt she gave me as a wedding gift and I think of her as I cuddle up in it. I remember how much I treasured that quilt after I received it and I decided to keep it in my cedar chest for safe keeping. One summer she and Uncle Hank came up for a visit and I pulled it out and spread it on my bed. Well the smell of cedar was definitely noticeable! Aunt Margaret, with her cute little smile and giggle was understanding of my desire to not let anything happen to it. However, it made me realize how silly it is to preserve treasures and for whom am I saving it for. So I have been using it ever since and I must say it is getting well worn out…I think people refer to that as well-loved! How is Uncle Hank? Wish him well and thanks for letting me know about your MOM.
Take care!
So sorry to hear of your Mom’s passing. Even when its expected, its still very sad.
>
> One of my earliest and warmest memories was a meal she cooked at the farm,
> one of the biggest meals I had ever seen. I might have been six or seven.
> When I saw her last, she had scarcely changed . . .
I can understand your feelings of sorrow and at the same time acceptance; and I remember saying good bye to my own Mother as she lay sleeping in her bed at the care centre. I knew she would not make it through the night.
Dad passed away May 22, 1989 so this time of year is always difficult for me even still. I am writing this with tears in my eyes, for both of us. I know your Dad will miss her terribly and he will realize that she is gone. They truly loved each other and it is wonderful that they had 65 years together.
So what memories can another self absorbed daughter contribute to these touching comments? We never doubted that she loved us and that family came first – but her family was huge, and ultimately included every person she ever met. Everyone was welcomed into her home. Everyone was fed. Our summers on the farm I think are my fondest memories of growing up because that’s when we had aunts and uncles and cousins from all over the place who dropped by, or stayed for awhile, or spent their entire vacations with us. I remember the many family picnics at the beach, in parks, or just on our own front lawn. And the enormous bonfires after all the kids had spent the afternoon gathering brush and deadfall into a great pile. I remember her being always incredibly busy, always doing something, and working hard, and then sitting down to play a game, to relax and talk and laugh. Her laughter was a beautiful thing to hear. I remember her animation and her joy. Mom had a gift for discovering the good in each person, and dewelling on that. She was able to stay positive and look on the brightest side of things, to the point of making me a little crazy, and ashamed of my nit-picking and ranting over little things. Above all she was always there for every one of us. She encouraged our independence and she let us make our own mistakes. But she never failed to help us pick up the pieces when we needed her help. If I’ve been a faithful wife, a good parent, a non-intrusive mother-in-law and loving grandma, it’s because I learned it from her example.
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About
(Umbrella - by Existrance/deviant art)
This is where I come to talk to myself by dredging up an old photograph or a memory and beating it to death with my keyboard. One day all this blather will be treasured by my progeny. Deluded as that notion might be, it’s what keeps me here. Just to clarify things a little, no part of my past or present life was ever spent actually living on a sidewalk. Life in the fast lane would have been a big fat lie; life on a skinny railing high above the railroad tracks with an umbrella at dawn – damn. Didn’t think of that one fast enough. But it’s sometimes how life feels. Precariously tense, but insanely fun.
