Home Alone….

It’s been kind of a bummer for me to discover exactly how boring I am when left on my own for great lengths of time.  I’ve been here, sans W., for almost 40 days.  And seriously, who has time to get out a calendar and actually tally that up for the sake of accuracy.  Ummm….yeah.  I do.

For the first bit I admit I didn’t need or want company, being too swallowed up by saddness, quite absorbed in myself and my emotions, trying to wrap my head around the fact that my mom is no longer of this earth.  Just saying that still has the power to make me weep, but I’m getting better.  Trying to focus on the positive, happy memories when staying in the now slips away somewhere.  

Learning to work with our new garbage collection system kept me happily occupied for longer than I care to admit.  Green cart, black cart, blue bags, recyclables and organics -  mind boggling stuff.  But now that I’ve had two successful collections I’ve kind of lost interest and don’t get quite so giddy about remembering which bucket the egg shells go into.

I’ve been reading, staying up too late, watching movies and whatever moronic tv shows catch my interest, playing computer games, taking naps, showing up for work, cooking for one.  Well, that last one is kind of misleading, unless preparing veggies and dip or throwing a sandwhich together counts as cooking.  And take-out could be a sub category, maybe?  I’ve done more yard work this past month than the entire rest of my life up til now I think. 

I’ve come to the startling conclusion that I could very easily turn into a complete slob when it comes to cleaning up after myself.  If there’s nobody around to notice that the bed isn’t made or the dishes aren’t washed, what real difference does it make in the grand scheme of things, right?  But then I think, good gawd, what if somebody popped by unexpectedly, how would I explain this, and I pretend it acutally matters, and that makes me get off my butt and straighten things up, all sorted out and ready for the next mess to happen.

Did I warn you this was going to be excrutiatingly boring?  I never thought doing whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, could get tedious.  So I intend to fix this problem by reading more, spending more time on the computer, and watching WAY more t.v.  That’s the rut I’m in and I don’t have enough ambition to get out of it.  So I’ll just have to become HAPPILY bored.

 

CI Top 24 continues…

I get home from work on Tuesday in time to hear Kaitlyn Dawn do Hallelujah. She’s no Jason Castro, but I guess it wasn’t horrible or anything. Then I get to see the recaps, and truthfully, I think that was sufficient.  Don’t want to overdose on idol – two groups of twelve, two nights in a row is a lot of idol.  I also missed the results show, but NOTHING stops me from voicing my opinion, no matter how little I know.   

From those little snippets in the recap, the ones who stand out for me are Amberley (omg, what a beautiful voice!) Adam, Omar and Shaun. Mark is going to annoy the hell out of me and Theo needs to stop styling his hair by sticking his fingers into wall sockets.

That seems to be a little lacking in info as to the rest of them, so I’ve “borrowed” some comments from my good friend Rosey on the night.  Okay, I admit it, I’ve copied them word for word……they’re good words.

Jesse C starts the show off, singing Rebel Yell. I whimper a bit, realizing that he is not doing a great job and this may be the last time we hear him sing. He lacks the edginess to his voice that Billy Idol has and that song really needs it.

Mark Day chose Alone. Why? I’ll admit it gives the song a bit of a twist to be sung by a male, but we’ve already heard it like fifty gazillion times before! He winks at someone in the audience as he’s singing and my boys gag and groan. I thought the chorus was actually not too bad, and Farley and Jake really liked his song choice. I expect being from NL is sufficient to keep him around for awhile.

Jessica Sheppard is extremely orange and dressed in an ugly brown dress, which doesn’t help matters. However her voice is lovely, even if I have forgotten what she sang. Ben teased her mother, telling her that they had an ambulance on stand-by, should she need it.

Shaun is shown bossing the band around. How manly and interesting of him.  But he starts to sing, and I cringe a little, realizing that I like his arrangement of Yellow very much. Zack points out that there was not a whole lot of singing, which is a valid criticism. But so far, this is my favourite performance.

Why do I not remember Lindsay Robins from the audition shows? Even now I’m having a hard time recalling her performance, although I have jotted down, “interesting”, “lots of yelling”, and “plaid pants”. Jake calls her performance, “screechy”.

Omar is putting a soulful spin on Every Breath You Take. Somehow his movements seem out of sync with the stalker-ish lyrics. But Jake felt him feeling it, so all must be well.

Marie-Pierre is singing an Amy Winehouse song that is not Rehab, so I’ve never heard it before. However, the judges have, and cannot help but compare it to the original. I think she’s got a beautiful voice and I enjoyed her performance.

Sebastien evidently took a lesson from his brother, and has planted his butt on the stage so as to avoid spasmodic thrustings as he sings. He eventually gets up and massages the mic stand for awhile. The backup singers were way too loud, but still, I thought this was a nice performance. The judges smack him will all kinds of back-handed compliments and he leaves the stage looked a little confused. Zack’s comment was that Sebastien is the weakest singer of the lot, but that was the best performance. If he’s the weakest singer, why put him through when they already had more than enough males? 

Theo and his hair are singing Apologize. Gorgeous (the singing, that is). I love his piano playing and his vocal range. The judges all loved him too, even Zack. Might this guy be our winner this year?

Amberly is playing the guitar in bare feet and winning over the crowd. She’s got beauty and a stunning voice on her side.

Adam C is determined not to talk too much tonight. However, he makes up for it in singing Mess Around and what a fine job he does! (here we had a pop quiz, which all my boys failed, about what movie that song appears in. Even after I gave them all kinds of hints, I still had to tell them it was Planes, Trains and Automobiles) Adam had all kinds of energy, yet managed to keep his mouth shut during the judges overwhelmingly positive remarks. He’s learning…. 

Katelyn closes up with Hallelujah. I agree with the judges- the chorus fell flat. It seemed as though it could have been so much more with a different arrangement.

I love Rosey’s reviews, because mostly we’re on the same page about things.  Except that she was and is a huge Jacob fan, but I’m over that.  HA!  And she’s the best predictor.  We both thought the two Lindsays would be toast, and that’s how it turned out on the results show.  She also predicted Tetiana would be gone, which I didn’t see coming at all.  We’re both surprised at Shaun’s demise, although maybe having a name that sounds like a mispronounciation of an American city did him in.  Both of us thought Jesse’s number could be up, but he’ll get another chance, and that’s a good thing.   

How completely bizarre is it that there are now only SIX girls left?  Will ANY of them survive these first cuts??  They’ve gotta get rid of some testosterone next week.  Please.  And I can tell them already who it should be. 

CI Season Six Top 24

Ta-da!!  We have our top 24.

Amberly Thiessen – 18, Seven Persons, AB
Adam Castelli – 26, Hamilton, ON
Tetiana Ostapowych, 25 – Toronto, ON
Mitch MacDonald, 22 – Port Hood, NS
Lindsay Barr, 26 – Halifax, NS
Mark Day, 19 – Portugal Cove, NL
Lindsay Robins, 21 – Montreal, QC
Mookie Morris, 18 – Toronto, ON
Gary Morissette, 21 – Fruitvale, BC
Lisa Bell, 27 – Winnipeg, MB
Sebastian Pigott, 25 – Toronto, ON
Oliver Pigott, 27 – Toronto, ON
Katherine St-Laurent, 17 – Otterburn Park, QC
Earl Stevenson, 22 – Lloydminster, AB
Jessica Sheppard, 22 – Toronto, ON
Omar Lunan, 28 – Scarborough, ON
Martin Kerr, 25 – Edmonton, AB
Theo Tams, 22 – Lethbridge, AB
Katelyn Dawn, 18 – Winnipeg, MB
Paul Clifford, 25 – Port Moody, BC
Jesse Cottam, 23 – Calgary, AB
Marie-Pierre Bellerose, 25 – Quebec City, PQ
Shaun Francisco, 25 – Vancouver, BC
Drew Wright, 28 – Collingwood, ON

We also have the first performance show completed, and the first night of voting over and done with.  And here’s how I saw it.

Lindsay Barr sets the bar a bit low with her ‘hunka burnin love’ manic dance moves. That was energetic to the point of spastic. Jake calls it bad bar singing and Zack says it’s a shining example of what NOT to do. Lindsay smiles radiantly and thanks everyone profusely for their criticism. And we’re off to a great start! lol

Martin Kerr reminds me of a young Ron Howard, but with a more fun accent. Farley and Zack both think the nerves got to him but Jake and Sass say his performance was strong. The accompaniment was just too loud! And he makes a lot of grimacing faces that are kind of distracting. But I love his voice.

Gary Morisette with the painful looking pierced lip does a crazy raspy rendition of Good Golly Miss Molly. Zack says this boy is here to stay. Jake thinks he’s a better singer than that. Already I’m thinking THANK GAWD for Sass and Farley, who should be paid extra to have to sit in the middle between those other two.

Tetianna sings a bluesy version of Feelings. How that is even possible is beyond me.  I sat through it and I still don’t believe it.  Zack calls it borderline cruise ship. So of course Jake says it worked. Sass and Farley say things like connected and credible. Tetianna doesn’t really care what they say, she’s clearly delighted with herself.

Mitch MacDonald. Sigh. I still don’t get why he’s here. Maybe, unlike Sass, I’m just not into sweet, pure, innocent and refreshing. Zack talks about his ease, charm and natural grace. Then Mitch messes up Ben’s hair and I think I could probably grow to like him after all.

Paul Clifford of the porcupine hair is another raspy voiced body pierced little guy who speaks with an accent. I forget what he sang, but I really enjoyed it. Maybe third time’s a charm for him. He’s compared favourably to Brian Adams.

Next up is Earl. He looks completely stoned. He sings “All Along the Watchtower” and except for the head bobbing, it’s quite awesome! Complete with a little howl to end it off. Farley says he’s the bomb. Sass says he has rhythm and heart. Zack and Jake say only Earl can do Earl songs, or some such blather.

Lisa Bell does “Without Love”, and I think it’s a great performance! She looks and sounds like a pro up there!! Zack calls it too ’show-bizzy’, but I think that’s exactly who Lisa Bell is – a show bizzy kinda girl with personality plus. How the hell did she end up in Winnipeg????

When Mookie comes on I think maybe he and Earl are brothers who were separated at birth. I hope he sticks around because it looks like he’s going to be a ton of fun. Instead of a howl, he does a growl at the end of Twist and Shout. Zack says he’s the real star so far.

Drew Wright dubs himself ‘quiet fire’. The judges all think “Under Pressure” is a big song to tackle – maybe too big at this stage. But wow, give the guy kudos for attempting it. And it wasn’t bad. Zack calls it ‘catastrophic’, but I don’t agree with that at all. Gutsy for sure.

Oliver Pigott jumps onto the stage with his hoodie on his head looking all evil and insane. The judges are clearly not expecting this transformation. The guy looks like he wants to kill somebody. Farley says “Good Golly Ollie!” Zack can’t relate and calls it ridiculous. Jake says it’s too much, way over the top. Sass of course likes it. Or maybe she’s just too scared to say she doesn’t. I hope Oliver takes a happy pill next week. Or maybe a mild sedative.

Katherine St. Laurent does Total Eclipse of the Heart and it’s just beautiful. A lovely (calm) way to end the show. She has a beautiful voice and a lovely presence about her. Zack thinks she’ll be around for the long haul. Farley tells her, young or not, it doesn’t matter, she belongs here.

I’m hoping some industrious souls will put some of tomorrow’s performances on YouTube or somewhere since I have to work tomorrow night and will miss the second 12 show.  I’m especially interested in Jesse, Adam and Omar. And the hopefully less crazed Pigott brother.

CI Auditions 2

Tonight’s (June 10th) show starts off with dwarf versions of the judges and Ben. Yes, this part is so easy a child could do it, we get it, believe me.

Jonny from Petawawa has a nice country-ish friendly calm vibe and good tone. He’s got the troops behind him.  I don’t know if he’s got the talent, but charisma is a huge part of this, and we’ll see how far it takes him.

Kelsi, who thinks she sounds like Kelly Clarkson, is cleary deluded, but ultimately very huggable.

Lisa Closs shouts out of tune and Celine Donnely, who can’t wait for the criticism, gets it from all sides.

Dan Young gives us our first big tear jerk moment of the season, getting through to Toronto for his dieing mom. His guitar playing is bad, but he has a nice raspy voice.  Will his heart be in it now that his mom is gone?  What an emotional time for him. 

Cute little blonde Kristine, university business grad and bartender is told by Sass that she appears to have the brains it takes for this competition. Well, that’s a new one. If only they’d mentioned that requirement at the beginning of this process, they’d be seeing a heck of a lot fewer people.

Ryan Mawla gets everybody weeping again and a great big hug from Jully. The judges concur that being a 17 year old girl in a boy’s body is enough stress in one’s life for now.

And we’re off to Hamilton, home of Brian Melo, where everyone and his dog now believes there is something in the Hamilton air that makes you talented. Maybe it’s true, because 27 people from here get gold tickets.

Nicholas Gordon Pappy J. Ozmond does another version of the rehab song and gets put through because he has a very unique sound. Annoying as hell is suddenly unique.

Rufus from Kitchener is positively delightful after that, with his fun and free spirited personality. 

Next we’re subjected to Barbara the wedding singer. Holy. She must normally be accompanied by very loud pipe organs or something.

Now that we’re all wildly alert, Bill Smith does his impression of singing while asleep, and Sarah Dillon wins first as the worst.

Jade Padua is an awesome little package; mixed up ethnic background, singer, dancer, actor, bubbly personality.  I think she’s one to watch.

Jessica Shepherd is back for another try this season after coming THIS close to making the top 22 last year. She can riff. Not everyone is a fan of riffing, but looks like we’re gonna hear some more of it.

Adam Costelli, motor cycle riding carpenter, is another emotionally touching guy, and gets to hang up his tool belt for awhile.

The East Coast (Halifax and St. Johns) audition coverage is mercifully short!

Mark Day with a 90 year old baby face and goofy charisma goes on.
Lindsay Barr gets a no from Zack, but the other three like her natural performance ability and think she has huge potential.

We are treated to a long series of clips of extremely bad guitar playing and the judge’s imitations of all the bad things you can do when you try to sing and the horrid sounds they produce.

Then Mitch MacDonald, Cape Breton step dancer, sings and plays and I’m thinking he should just stick with his group and not attempt it solo, but all four judges give him a yes.  Possibly he came right after 20 horrid ones.  Not sure how else to explain that one.

Finally Luke and Jock provide background music for a series of disappointed faces who have all been told No.

Maybe the first two shows were too upbeat and they felt the need to have a big downer?? As usual, there are WAY too many contestants to weed through. How crazy must it be for the judges to get the number down from 200 to just 22.  Plus having to get all four of them to more or less agree, when Jake and Zack rarely agree on anything.  Lot’s of teary moments to come.

Canadian Idol Auditions

Is it really season six?? 

I don’t like the audition shows much.   I was at work last week when the first one aired, but last night I watched.  And my goodness, old habits die hard, because I found myself picking up pen and paper to scribble down a recap of sorts.

And here’s my notes. 

- Lloyd Robinson is kind of flat.  But handsome.  And wears a nice suit.
- Phillipe from Montreal (accordian boy with caterpillar eyebrows) sings School’s Out: yikes.
- Cocky leather jacket dude Ralph is able to sing with absolutely NO body movement other than his face. That’s an interesting talent.
- Flat turban fellow from Pakistan uses an invisible microphone and  breaks out some bizarre dance moves, prompting Zack to call it “genuine crap”. HAHA!! I love Zack.
- Melanie from Ingleside has a lot of confidence, despite the fact that she never has dated except for prom and cannot sing to save her life. And she won’t be going to TO.
- Amber Lee with guitar – YES!! (Unfortunately, that’s all I wrote….) I think she’s the one that Sass has already chosen as the next idol.
- Canadian Tire guy showering in forest – nice voice, poor song choice.
- Ben screw-up clips. Looks like he’s planning on sticking with that disgusting hair for life.
- Big bald leather clad metal guy with parents who sing opera. Good gawd. I have no clue why they put him through.
- Red-head 16 yr. old Katherine St. Laruent, very cute despite her large teeth; I think she is singing well,  but I am distracted by Jake’s flaming pink shirt.
- Many screaming people are running out the double doors in quick succession waving their gold tickets and hugging people.

Vancouver:
- Shaun Francisco – talks back to Jake who finds him boring. Gets through anyway.
- Beany boy from Australia in camoflauge shorts sings “this song’s gonna get stuck in your head’. They sent him away!! Why????
- Bouncy boy Andrew Hennings, bald, glasses, goes on and on (and on and on and on and on) ……..prompting Sass to begin praying for the end of time.
- King of Swing wanna-be Pat, with grease dripping hair and oblique eyebrows, sings to a roomfull of smiling geriatrics. His rendition of the last bars of Oh Canada puts him through. The make up people behind the scenes at CI place an order for several truckloads of gel.
- Who the heck is Jully Black? She’s hilarious.
- Afghanistani Mozhdah is beautiful, but deemed ‘not ready’ by the judges.
- Vincent from Liberia sings “You’re every woman” to Sass.  And he’s off to Toronto.  Again, I’m not sure why.
- 9 more screamers come tumbling through the door.

Winnipeg:
- Kayla Luky, who is extremely cute, does a good job of Big Black Horse and a Cherry Tree. She’s in.
- Laura Gallant does a ridiculously off key version of….I don’t even know. She’s out.
- Katelyn Dawn from Steinbech gets lots of camera time, taking her cute little dog to a nursing home. Awwwwwwww. She’s beautiful. So everyone except Sass says yes.
- Steven Porter sings Moondance and gets a big YES! across the board.  Now there’s a kid I like a lot. 
- 8 more screaming crazies exit the room of doom.
Last but not least there’s a mixed up montage of the good, the bad and the ugly to close the show.

They are certainly rushing their butts through this process, aren’t they? Or the coverage of it, at any rate. Ottawa, Hamilton, and the East Coast are next. That should take, what – fifteen minutes? Including filler from the singer amongst the trees showering camper guy…….Who, by the way, is sounding better and better.

This Explains A Lot

Just in case anyone out there has noticed that I’ve turned a corner and seem to be veering off into annoying preachy mode these days, perhaps I should explain.  It’s all Eckhart Tolle’s fault. 

I normally avoid ’self help’ books like the plague, so I don’t know what made me pick this one up.  But I cannot deny the fact that it is something I needed to read, and that it came to me at exactly the moment when I needed it the most. 

The part about ‘life’s purpose’ is what caught my eye I guess.  Does my life actually have a purpose?  Hmm.  Who knew.  So with all kinds of stuff going on around me I started reading it and could not stop.  On almost every page there is some sort of idea or statement that produces an OMG moment.  I know these things are true.  So why have I been living my life like they’re not?  It’s made me completely rethink the purpose of this blog, for one thing.  Has this been just a way for me to constantly revisit the past trying to define who I am, and thus remove myself from the present? 

I took the book with me when I flew to Ontario.  At that point I was only about halfway through it, but already I was seeing how easy it is to focus on being present in the now.  I was able to go calmly through a time that otherwise might have been unbearably stressful.  I was not distraught because there was and is no point in being that.  I felt a lovely sense of peace and I sincerely hope my presence conveyed that to the people around me.  I finished the book just before I flew back home, and I left my copy with my sister.  I bought another copy the day I went back to work, two days after mom passed away, and began to re-read it.  And how amazing is this – there were whole sections that seemed to be completely new, as if I hadn’t been capeable of absorbing or understanding them the first time around. 

I gave that copy to my daughter and am now on copy number three.  Then as I was leaving work yesterday, walking past a book display, 

this book was suddenly in my hand and headed for the check out.  So what is happening here?   Am I being completely brain washed??  I think so, but in a good way.  It’s like all the ridiculous crap that I’ve been carrying around in my head is being washed away.  Things that had the power to make me feel bad and unhappy and sad and stressed are still there, but they’ve lost their importance. 

I’m reading the books in the wrong order, but that’s not important either.  What is significant is the realization that it is so incredibly easy to feel joy and aliveness in everything I do.  And if I can’t quite reach the joyous level, there is at least a peacefull acceptance. 

If all this blather is making you quite gaggy, sorry about that.  I’ll stop now.  No one can force their personal experiences onto someone else or make them feel the same things.  But Eckhart Tolle is pretty good at pointing a person in a new and interesting direction, where things are better. 

Things happen in ‘threes’

I don’t even believe that, and I was going to say “bad” at the beginning of it, but the truth is, things happen, good and bad, and at some point we just realize we’ve been counting.  

People leave this life on earth every day.  I wonder why we’re always so stunned when it happens to someone close to us.  The mere possibility freaks us out although freaking out has never really accomplished anything good, has it?   Or changed the inevitable.  So why can’t we all just stop doing that.  It’s time to be accepting and calm and at peace.  Imagine your spiritual self released and flying free and laughing at how seriously miserable you made yourself when all that energy could just as easily have been devoted to making yourself NOT so freaking miserable.

W.’s brother will be undergoing radiation and chemotherapy in the next six weeks.  I hope it makes him well.  It’s a time to be positive, while waiting for the other shoe to drop.  And if we all wore three shoes at a time, this three things happening nonsense would make more sense combined with the shoe dropping thing.  Sorry.  Sense does not appear to be my top priority these days.   Living in the moment is.   No more saying “I want to” or “I will”.  I AM.  Cherishing every single moment.  Living this life like it’s my last. 

Because maybe we all get three of them.  Quite possible that I’ve messed up on the first two.