Pointless Prattle
Here’s a list of possible blog topics that have been fluttering around in my brain. I’m posting them to let everyone know why I haven’t bothered to expand on any of them. It should be self explanatory, but that’s never stopped me from explaining things ad nauseum.
1. A local newspaper article entitled “Get to Know Your Water Heater”. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get any further with that one than the headline, so I don’t know what the benefits of doing that might be. It’s a very catchy phrase though. Kind of imprints itself on ones brain and will NOT go away.
2. How much I love our new easy start lawnmower. On a scale of one to ten for lawnmower love, it’s definitely a ten. I’m thinking of inventing a lawn tool that sucks up dandelions and turns them into mulch. Maybe with some screaming sound effects. Why can’t they make a lawn grass that is that tenacious.
3. An advice column I perused with instructions on how to ”Declutter Your Brain.” Obviously I could not be bothered cluttering up my brain with all that helpful guidance. I can’t for the life of me remember even one of the methods they recommended. Which could mean that I don’t really need that advice at all.
4. How rude the happy bunny can be. I have a calendar that spews out cheeky thoughts for the day. Some of them, like ‘you go girl, and don’t come back’, or ‘a good loser is still a loser’ are mildly amusing. But ‘have a great day you worthless turd’ is more vulgar than funny. He should be called the bad mannered bunny. The discourteous cottontail from hell. Something truthful like that. Impertinent little rabbit.
5. My latest addiction, Farm Town on Facebook. Sorry to all you people to whom I have sent copious gifts of farm animals and trees. Thank you to all the people who have hired me and paid me money. I just bought a barn. WOOOOOT!! Inside info – sunflowers are a great cash crop. And to all you snarky little pinheads who don’t think grapes are worth your time to harvest, get a life.
6. The weather. But no one wants to hear another complaining rant about something over which we have no control. Or do we have some control over it? Maybe that’s the underlying problem. Right now I’m doing a rain dance. Mother Nature is ROTFL.
7. GAWD, who even needs a number seven.
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About
(Umbrella - by Existrance/deviant art)
This is where I come to talk to myself by dredging up an old photograph or a memory and beating it to death with my keyboard. One day all this blather will be treasured by my progeny. Deluded as that notion might be, it’s what keeps me here. Just to clarify things a little, no part of my past or present life was ever spent actually living on a sidewalk. Life in the fast lane would have been a big fat lie; life on a skinny railing high above the railroad tracks with an umbrella at dawn – damn. Didn’t think of that one fast enough. But it’s sometimes how life feels. Precariously tense, but insanely fun.
