Bungee Jumping or Skydiving?

Why don’t you just shoot me and get it over with? What have I done to deserve two such deadly alternatives?

Free falling from great heights is not my idea of a fabulous time. Obviously I haven’t done either one of these things, so how can I be so sure that I don’t want to try them?

I’ve jumped from high barn beams into hay lofts because my siblings were doing it and it looked like it SHOULD be fun. There was definitely a rush, but for me it came after the landing. Before and during the jumps there was nothing but stone cold fear. And if it felt so good to be safe, why not just stay that way in the first place?

I guess I was not a very adventurous child and I’m an even less adventurous adult. I’ve never understood the urge some people have to put themselves in mortal danger – climbing mountains, driving race cars, diving deep into the sea.

Perhaps I will die by choking on a safe looking peanut butter sandwich and my epitaph will read “She Never Took A Risk” (and died anyway.) Or maybe just ‘she never had any fun.’ Hmmph. I’m going to the kitchen now to use sharp knives and handle boiling water. Later I’m going to take a walk on some sidewalks which are close to roads which often sport TRAFFIC!

Danger is everywhere. Why go looking for it? It can find you on its own.

 

One Sentence Per Year: 1994 – 2011

Brevity is the soul of wit.  Plus I’m really getting tired of this.  It’s supposed to be all about ME, but how can I separate whoever Me was from everyone else I was so intently focused on?  Daughter, girlfriend, wife, mother, grandma;  pulled in many different directions but still Linda after all these years.

1994 -  Perhaps this is the year I had my back surgery, or discectomy, and finally stopped popping anti inflamatories and muscle relaxants like there was no tomorrow.

1995 -  They come and they go, they’re hired and they’re fired and the one stressed out the most is the one that gets left behind, time after time after time.

1996 -  My kids are all grown up, so what does that make me – successfull?

1997 -  Why are there so many cats in our lives?

1998 – A married son, another beautiful daughter, and how incredibly strange it feels to be home alone.

1999 – I am fifty years old and have lost my sanity;  what other reason could there possibly be for deciding to go to NAIT to become a licensed optician?

2000 - Welcome to Walmart – you can check out any time you want but you can never leave….

2001 – A grandma twice over is a grandma twice blessed;  just when you think you couldn’t possibly drum up any more love for anyone or anything, there they are, deep in your heart, more precious than anything.

2002 – Somewhere in here (or over the rainbow) I have my thyroid surgery and a funny doctor tells me the scar will one day look like just another neck wrinkle.

2003 -  Somewhere in here (or down the crazy river) the vision centre gets violently renovated and we’re all able to walk around at the same time instead of having to take turns.

2004 – I graduate from the contact lens program and become a practitioner knowing I will have to work for at least another eleven years to get all my damned tuition money back, but that’s kind of a pesimistic joke and not exactly true.

2005 -  I am obsessed with the Idol shows, American, Canadian, Australian and with all the various chat boards and OMG I ‘meet’ some of the most amazing people I’ve ever known.

2006 – Those babies are in school already??

2007 -  My grandchildren number five…and counting…unless we can somehow stop counting….<3

2008 – I am an orphan and my heart is broken.

2009 - I get my ten year badge and stare at it until my head hurts.

2010 – I cannot remember what life was like before facebook.

2011 -  I cannot remember what life was like before my I-Phone.

2012?  The year the world is supposed to end.  It’s been a wonderful life.  Ooops that’s too many sentences. And I’m not even sixty four!  Soon, but not yet.