This Phone is a Trucking Place of Spit

"not encephalitis the email"

“not encephalitis the email” (Photo credit: marioanima)

Daily Prompt:  Take a line from a song that you love or connect with. Turn that line into the title of your post.

Today on Facebook, Damn You Auto Correct posted the “Baby I Lobe You” song, and it was all downhill from there.

This particular song on You Tube isn’t necessarily one I love, because I only discovered it today, but it’s certainly one I can connect with.  Because everyone who has an I-phone has at one time or another called it a fluffing piece of shut, if not worse.

Verse 1

When I said I wanted to kill you,
I meant to say kiss
When I said I was going to dump your bones in the woods,
I meant to say jump
And now you think I’m a psychopath
And our relationship is wrecked
There’s nothing I can do but put the blame on
Auto-correct.

Verse 2

You said whenever you miss me you smell my shits,
I think you meant shirts
My work was coming in slits and spritzers (sorry)
Spits and spurts
I said you were a whining spaz
When I meant to say shining star
Then I said I was going to pimp your ass
When I went to park your car
And now you think I’m a total dick
And I’m losing your respect
There’s nothing I can do but put the blame on
Auto-correct.

Verse 3

You said you like to fist with men in bars,
I think you meant flirt
Either way I think it’s safe to say
One of us is going to get hurt
I know that you don’t mind jazz
In a quiet little back street place
But you said in your message you quite like jizz
Except when it was in your face
And now it seems we’re communicating
In a brand new dialect
There’s nothing I can do but put the blame on
Auto-correct.

Middle Eight

These thumbs were not designed for typing
Maybe we should just have stuck to skyping
Now all that you can say to me
Is WTF and OMG
This song is one long apology, I admit
This phone is a fluffing piece of shut
This phone is a flecking price of slut
This phone is a trucking place of spit

Verse 4

When I said I like to use glory-holes,
I was trying to type coriander
I was looking forward to eating out
On your vagina
(Verandah, verandah, so sorry)

Now we’ve sent these messages
That we should have double-checked
There’s nothing I can do but put the blame on
Auto-erotic
Auto-erotic
Automatic
Autocratic
Sumo wrestler
Dodo forest
Dildo Carrot

Oh well, what did we expect?
We never should have put our faith in auto-correct.

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4 thoughts on “This Phone is a Trucking Place of Spit

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