Eff Words

Yesterday was a bright sunshiny day. It was also day 5 of a 6 day work week for me, and about -17 Celsius with a brisk wind.  I looked outside in the morning and said EFF THIS, or words to that effect. This is March for the love of all that’s holy, not January.  It wouldn’t have been so disappointing to get all this snow if we hadn’t been seeing bare roads and snowless walkways and little tiny hints of spring.  Now they’ve disappeared again.

Looking down our driveway.  Wanting to run back inside and sleep for about six weeks.

Looking down our driveway. Wanting to run back inside and sleep for about six weeks.

 

The front of my house.

The front of my house.

My neighbors front lawn.

My neighbors front lawn.

I know I should not be saying bad words, not only because they don’t sound very nice, but also because they have no power to change the weather.

I will blame being tired of working, and maybe also the fact that muttering ‘oh dearie me’ like a proper grandmother just doesn’t cut it sometimes.

So for future reference, I have strung a few Eff words together and tried them out for effect:

Efface yourself you effete efficacious effigy of effusive effluvium!

Nope, it doesn’t make any sense, but neither does the real F word in about 99% of the ways in which it gets used.

So if I can just remember to repeat that little sentence with a lot of feeling, maybe kicking something at the same time, and without having my top front teeth go through my bottom lip, somehow I think the situation will seem ever so much better.  And as an extra bonus, I won’t have to be so careful about what comes out of my mouth when there are small children about.

I want to wear my effing effusively fun spring coat.  Really, is that too much to ask for the middle of March for crying out loud?  I promise I will be in a better mood once I’ve had a couple of effectual days off.  But right now, if it’s spring where you are, I effortlessly don’t like you very much.

IMG_1462

About these ads

30 thoughts on “Eff Words

  1. Great post! I think the “F” word is so overused in movies and theater- I find it annoying and gratuitous- it says nothing or shows the writer doesn’t have the vocabulary to get his/her point across.
    As to your snow– I’m envious- hear in the lower America (New Jersey) we only had one storm. I miss having a winter that hangs around a bit! Not to worry, I’m sure yours will melt soon.

    Like this

    • I don’t think I’ve ever been envious of anyones snow….just their lack of it. There’s a reason why Canadians head south for a break from it all. Yes, winter does end eventually. I’m thinking it will be in June this year. :)

      Like this

  2. I feel your pain! My hubby and I just spent a week in South Carolina where, although it wasn’t hot, I didn’t need more than a hoodie and even got a sunburn on the beach on our last day. This morning we woke up at a hotel in Pennsylvania to a snowstorm!! The interstate was terrible with cars in the ditch everywhere. Trust me, I said the eff word myself a few times :). I feel so depressed now, and I want to go back to the ocean!! I can hear it calling me!

    Like this

  3. Oh poor you. Our March has been both lamb and lion. Pretty here today, Cold and sunny. The good news about the snow is that all those things you saw raising their little green heads are tucked up safely under it. Dianne

    Like this

  4. LOL! Zeb posted that last picture to my Facebook wall the other day. We are sick of winter too, and we haven’t seen grass or snowless walkways since December or earlier. It’s hard to feel like spring is around the bend when we’re still dipping into the -22C range (I used a converter thingy — looks even colder than it is when I speak Canadian!). I want SPRING!!!

    Like this

      • You’re welcome, Grand Malin… I love snow all year long but I don’t live where it snows, so… My memories of snow are of trying to get out of the driveway in Ohio, slip-sliding away on black ice in Indiana, playing in snow in Wisconsin… and skiing in snow in W. Virginia, North Carolina and Colorado.

        Like this

I LOVE reading your comments. Sometimes I even reply to them.

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s