Slow Down You Move Too Fast

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Tuesdays at work wear me out.  We have a doctor seeing patients and I’m there until 8 p.m.  Then I come home and sit at the end of the couch where there is a stupid lamp with such a thick shade that the light hardly comes through it and that’s where I stare like a zombie at my I-Pad for a couple of hours.  That little bit of light is very relaxing, and because of it I can say I’m not sitting alone in the dark.

Because I’m not.  There’s my I-Pad.  I catch up on Words With Friends and e-mails and Facebook and check out that there’s nothing new on Netflix and as a last resort play some Candy Crush.  I drink decaf coffee. I read my current e-book. I am a barrel of fun.

Wednesdays when I’m off work, I always think I’m going to get a zillion things done, because, hey, it’s a whole day, and I’m off.  So I sleep in late, mess around doing nothing for the entire morning (because seriously, I have the WHOLE DAY), do a repeat of Tuesday night with electronic time wasters, drink my smoothie, consume a lot of coffee, wonder what I should make for dinner….  Suddenly it’s evening.  There are three days of work ahead of me, laundry becomes a priority, there’s no time for those projects I’ve been putting off until my day off.  I am lazy and I like to procrastinate, and I excel at relaxing.  You’re supposed to do whatever you’re really good at, right?

Yesterday, like most Thursdays, I worked early and got off at five. There are a lot of hectic people out there running around getting things done in a huge hurry with places to go and people to see and deadlines to meet and WHY IS THAT?  Our contact lens student is one of them.  She got her glasses dispensing licence, went straight into the contact lens course, accepted the position of teaching the glasses course at the same time, is getting married, buying a new house, looking after her son from a previous relationship and her future husbands son from his previous relationship, constantly doing nice things (like baking) for other people, and now she has accepted the position of manager at another store (the store is a ridiculously busy one and she has no managerial experience) and she will start that before any of all the other stuff is finished.  She is twenty-six.  And probably insane.

Someone asked me if I didn’t remember being young and ambitious and I had to admit I’ve never been that ambitious in my entire life.  I want to tell her to slow down, don’t be so impatient, stop being so hard on yourself, get some sleep.  I’m afraid she’s going to burn out before she’s thirty.  And wonder where her life went.

And now it’s Friday and another full day looming, filled with trying to sell stuff to justify my pay cheque.  I’m tired.  And I haven’t even done anything, comparatively speaking.  But I’m not twenty-six either.  I drummed up enough energy to go and get my hair cut last night.  That was pretty exhausting, sitting there listening to another twenty something pink haired girl tell me about her social life.

Yeah.  I’m old and boring.  And ready to pack in this working for a living crap and actually get on with living and doing whatever I want.  And whatever that is, I want to do it very, very slowly.  Because now I know life rushes by while we’re busy thinking about all the things we have to do to get to a place where we can do something else.

And now I have to rush off to work so I can get that over with and then I’ll be able to come home and NOT work.  We’re all running around in circles.  Sit down and let people lap you.  It’s okay.  That’s really all I’m saying.

Terms of Endearment

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Mental Floss (where knowledge junkies get their fix) has a page on Facebook from which I have shamelessly stolen this link because it’s SO worth sharing.  You need never run out of cutesy names for your spouse, children, pets, and best friends ever again.

1. “Mon chou”

French, meaning “my cabbage.”

2. “Schnuckiputzi”

German for “cutie pie.”

3. “Sötnos”

“Sweet nose” in Swedish.

4. “Meu Chuchuzinho”

Portuguese for “my little squash.”

5. “Moya Solnishka”

Russian for “my little sun.”

6. “Mijn Bolleke”

“My little round thing” in Flemish.

7. “Bogárkám”

Hungarian, meaning “my little bug.”

8. “Mi cielito”

“My little sky” in Spanish.

9. “Mijn poepie”

A quirky Dutch term for “my little poop.”

10. “Matakia mou”

Greek for “my little eyes.”

11. “Microbino mio”

“My little microbe” in Italian.

12. “Moosh bekhoradet”

“May a mouse eat you” in Persian.

13. “Mo Chuisle”

Irish for “my pulse.”

14. “Min guldklump”

Danish, meaning “my gold nugget.”

15. “Ma puce”

French for “my flea.”

Personally I am now questioning the sanity of the Persians and the Dutch.

Adding to the fun, here’s another link from Mental Floss with alternatives to saying a simple hello.

1) “What’s the craic?”

How they say “What’s up?” in Ireland. The craic (pronounced “crack”) is the news, gossip, latest goings-on, or the fun times to be planned.

2) “How hops it?”

Be classically cool with this late 19th-century slang for “How’s it going?”

3) “Ahoy”

Add a little jaunty excitement by getting into pirate mode.

4) [Hat tip]

Be the strong, silent type and forgo words entirely with an elegant tip of your hat.

5) “There he/she is!”

Make someone feel like the man or the woman of the hour.

6) “Ciao”

Feeling friendly and cosmopolitan? “Ciao” will set the mood. Add a kiss on each cheek for authenticity.

7) “S.P.D.S.V.B.E.E.V”

Want to write a letter with a classical Latin feel? Open with this abbreviation for Salute plurimam dicit. Si vales, bene est, ego valeo. “Many greetings. If you’re well, then that’s good, and I’m well too.”

8) “Salutations”

Show off your verbal dexterity with this gentleman’s greeting.

9) “Greetings”

Or keep it simple and use the word that means just what it says.

10) “Howdy”

Keep it casual, cowpoke, or get fancier with a full-on “Howdydo?”

11) “Aloha”

Bring a little mellow sunshine to your interactions by greeting the Hawaiian way.

12) “Namaste”

Start with a show of respect. This peaceful greeting comes from the Sanskrit for “I bow to you.”

13) “How’s tricks?”

You’ve got to smile when you dust off this gem from the 1920s.

14) “Breaker, breaker”

Open the conversation like a trucker on a CB radio.

15) “Well, look at you!”

Reminiscent of the sweet way your grandma used to express how impressed she was with you. Why not spread the love around with this opening?

And why not choose a random number from each list and combine the two??  It’s not like you have anything better to do on a Sunday, right?  Well maybe you do.  I don’t.

So –  How hops it, schnuckiputzi?  Microbino mio – well – just look at you!

The possibilities are truly mind-boggling. But that’s what Mental Floss is all about, boggles for the mind.  And there you go.  Don’t ever say I have never contributed to your brain scrambled weekend.

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Connect

Maybe this is more of a disconnect from the boring business of acting like an adult, but today I am going to make paper dolls.  Because they are connected to each other and also ridiculously cute.  I’m sure I read somewhere that it’s a good idea to connect with ones inner child every so often so we’ll just call this artistic therapy and leave it at that.

001This is a long strip of card stock paper in shocking pink. I leave the choice of paper quality and color up to your personal preference.  Nothing is written in stone here.  Fold it in half width-wise three times, and then using the fold lines as guides, fold it back and forth accordion style until your fingers hurt and it looks like this.

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Then fold it up flat again with the four folded edges where you’ll do your cutting.   If you’re very adventurous you can just cut it free hand and see what happens, or you can draw something like this as a guide.

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Find some big sharp heavy-duty scissors and cut this out.  It’s all coming back to you, right?  Now we all remember why we never used heavy card stock paper with those blunt and awkward little-kid scissors.

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Taa Daa!  A normal person might stop now, after admiring this for a sufficient ego-stroking amount of time, but the child in me can’t seem to leave well enough alone.

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There, now we’re done, because we’ve added awesome hair (some of it appears to be facial), big smiles, cute dresses and colorful mary-janes.

Come on, wasn’t this a lot more fun than a post about connecting to some dumb social network like Facebook or Twitter?  Never mind that it will be connected to both of these when I hit the publish button.  That’s completely beside the point.

Did you make these, or some variation of them when you were little?  What have you done today that’s completely silly but insanely fun?

Cin’s Feb Challenge Day 24 – Connect

Pictures and Pages and Seasons Oh My

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You might think, because of the nature of these book related pictures from various Facebook pages, that I have spent my entire Sunday reading.  But I haven’t.  I’m saving that for tomorrow, day two of two days off.   I’m part way through The Goldfinch, by Donna Tartt, which is turning out to be a book with no end in sight.  Had to take a break.

What I’ve actually been doing today is making myself feel less sad about the fact that there are only two seasons of Downton Abbey available on Netflix by watching The Good Wife instead. I didn’t notice how many seasons there are to get through on that one, but I’ll take a serious stab at getting to the end of them.

It’s a hard life I know, but don’t worry,  I’m managing okay.

So Long 2013

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The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.  I thought it would be nice to include this random Facebook page picture of me to go along with it.  Because the stats are as weird as I am.  I got almost 800 hits on a post about my furnace.  Sorry to disappoint everyone, but I’m never writing about that again.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 29,000 times in 2013. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 11 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

Hello November

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November appears to be crazy blogging month around here.  Many insane people are committed to posting something every day for the next 30 days, and even crazier people are holding themselves to a loony tunes word count goal.

For awhile this morning I considered joining them, but have since come to my senses.  I’m afraid I know myself too well, and when something sounds like work to me, I avoid it like the plague.  You might notice how I just proved my point by taking all day to say anything at all.  I like to write every day, but no promises.  Or threats.  Or obligations, even if they are self-inflicted.  Or maybe especially if they’re that.

I would love it if our November here looked like the above picture, but we’re supposed to get about 20 cm of snow this weekend, so everything except the landscape will be that lovely shade of blue. Time to dig out the scarves and mittens I guess.

IMG_0220Found this picture of myself on Facebook, waiting for some kind of ambition or motivation to knock me off the couch.  So far neither have materialized to disturb my state of bliss.

There was coffee to drink, I-pad games to play, books to read, and a spouse to annoy by not cleaning up my mess in the kitchen or folding my own laundry. Even though it’s November I’m not blue yet, and it’s been a marvelous day.

Never Too Busy

If you’re too busy to laugh, you’re too busy.  Personally I can’t remember the last time someone accused me of being too busy.  Or of never laughing.  Here’s some funny stuff (and shit)  gleaned from Facebook by me, while being extremely not busy.  Don’t say these bad words out loud.  In your head, it’s perfectly okay.

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The Second Cup

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(From All the Ways Things Are on Facebook)

As much as I love that first cup of freshly brewed coffee on a Sunday morning, the second cup is even better.

While the coffee brewed this morning I suddenly decided to clean out my junk drawer.  I honestly can’t remember what sparked that burst of ambition, but I do know that if this happened more often it wouldn’t have to be such a time-consuming and complicated job.  Its current state seemed to warrant dumping the entire contents on the kitchen table.  Once that’s done there is no turning back.  This doesn’t mean I finished making sense of the mess (because it’s not done yet, 13 hours later) just that it will have to be dealt with eventually if I ever want to use the kitchen table again.

So that first cup of coffee had to compete with junk drawer sorting, a quick shower, hair drying, Facebook checking and e-mail perusing.  Insanity. Coffee should be savoured, not gulped down in amongst random morning tasks. And in case you think it’s amazing that I limit my coffee to two cups, you should see how gigantic my favourite mugs are.  They don’t hold half a pot of coffee, but close enough.

So I sat down in the living room to enjoy the second cup doing absolutely nothing.  Ha.  That’s not exactly true.  Unless playing Candy Crush on my I-pad is a big fat nothing. Which many people would agree it is.

Then I had a great visit with a former co-worker/friend who is in the process of landing another better job and has asked me to one of her references.  Made me realize yet again how much I miss her smiling face and the amazing person she is and always was to work alongside.  But life goes on and everything changes. We got each other caught up on the latest developments.  Two more people are leaving my workplace.  Perhaps it’s something I said.  And I’m wondering if I can stick it out for this last year before retiring next September.

Imagine all the second cups I’ll be able to consume at my leisure when my working days are done.  If all that caffeine doesn’t kill me first.  I would like to at least get all my pens, paper clips, elastic bands and rolls of tape in order before that happens.