Out Like a Lamb

imageHere’s to the last sunny Sunday morning in March.  This one went whooshing right on by.  But that’s okay, because I love Sunday afternoons too, no matter what month it is.

Normally I don’t miss three days in a row of putting my  scatter-brained thoughts out there for all the world to see, or ignore, or whatever it is that happens to them.  But when I do,  I have my reasons.  Not saying they’re good ones, but reasons are reasons.  So, on to the profound stuff.  Or the superficial.  Or the moderately sagacious.

1.  Work.  There will be an end to gainful employment for me very soon.  Hopefully in less than six months.   This lovely thought keeps me showing up, since I am able to see an end in sight at last.  Some days that feels like a lifetime away, especially when complete strangers sit down and proceed tell me the most bizarre shit imaginable.  I’m not sure what I do to encourage this.  I don’t think I do anything.  And yet people tell me things that happened to them from years ago right up to and including the past five minutes.  Things that are really none of my business.  So I don’t feel like I should share their information.  And when I come home with my head full of life stories that I never asked to hear,  I’m both physically and mentally exhausted.

2.  I hate the word SHOULD.  Also ought, duty, must, need, and maybe even do.  Because there’s many things waiting to be done and I don’t feel like doing any of them.  I don’t care if I should. And of course that’s a lie, otherwise I wouldn’t even mention it.  GUILT.  Another stupid word.

3.  We are dog-sitting for a week.  All of our grandchildren and their moms are off for a spring break holiday to the sunny south.  I don’t envy them the long overnight flights, but getting away from our cold non-spring-like weather will be a very nice break.  Really, having a dog here as an excuse for doing nothing is pretty lame.  He’s a good little dog.

4.  My I-Pad is evil.  Well maybe that’s a little harsh.  Let’s call it an angel of darkness.  I pick it up and I cannot put it down.  It is very portable.  It plays timba drums (often relentlessly)  when it has something to tell me or show me which may or may not be important.   It reminds me to play Candy Crush and Words with Friends.  It has Netflix.

5.  There are many books on my Kindle waiting to be read.   I purchase them faster than I read them.  One day I hope to get this all evened out.  Living long enough to do so would be nice.

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If this were true I would be disgustingly healthy. Or have a severe vitamin over-dose going on.  I comfort myself with the thought that there are worse addictions and many less relaxing ways to spend a lazy Sunday afternoon than drinking coffee and watching the sixth season of Psych.  Yes, I know, I have issues.  I promise I’ll think about them seriously some other time.  When exactly that might happen depends on how long I live, and possibly on how much coffee I am able to consume.

So what are you up to on your last Sunday in March?  If it’s more exciting than my day, I can’t say I’m too surprised.

Jazzy will be back tomorrow!  There, I’ve said it.  There’s no going back now.

Good Things On A Sunday

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These are good things on any day, really.

- Adult children.  Really, everyone should have a few.

- Finding decaf coffee for my Tassimo.  I have been blind.  (Thank you K and C for inspiring me to use this coffee maker for more than its previously mostly decorative purposes.)

- Blowing snow from the inside looking out.

- Candles that last all day and into the night.

- Driving home in the pouring rain and getting there just before it starts to freeze.

- Old movies on Netflix.

- Looking into the eyes of our children and seeing what miracles we have created.

- Good books, and lots of them.

- Today.

- Flux – a natural state.  (Our moods change, our lives change, our feelings for each other change.  Our bearings change.  The song changes, the air changes, the temperature in the shower changes.)  Accepting this.

- Magic

- A warm bed after a long day.

- Learning new words, like quaintrelle – a woman who emphasizes a life of passion expressed through personal style, leisurely pastimes, charm, and cultivation of life’s pleasures.

- Big warm sweaters.

- The smell of dinner cooking.

- The sound of laughter.

- Having no definite plans.

- Realizing there is really nothing in the world we lack, and rejoicing in the way things are.

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Something for Sunday

Dentist Humor

Dentist Humor (Photo credit: MTSOfan)

My dentist is a funny guy.

He is also gentle, efficient, quiet, skilled, calm, and altogether very pleasant.

It is really hard to hate him.

I didn’t intend to go back to see him again so soon, but a chunk of a very old filling came loose so I made an appointment, without having a mild panic attack.  It’s about time I outgrew this fear, wouldn’t you say?  My dentist is not all that scary, after all.  The night before I was scheduled to see him, (and the only good thing about this is the timing) another chunk of another very old filling also broke away from another molar.  My teeth are falling out of my head as we speak.  Or at least I am living with that stupid worry.

As much as I distress myself about all the work that has to be done, I’m very thankful to be in a place and time where it’s all possible and to have dental insurance that will pay for some of it.  The prep work for a permanent bridge to fill in a gap (which I’ve had for years but before now never agreed to have fixed)  has already been done.  Ouch, physically and financially.  Two more visits to completion, including a temporary and then a permanent crown.  I can do this.

He told me I made a good impression.  HAHA!  They took about four of them with that weird pink goop that hardens and sets and feels like it’s never going to come loose without cracking your jaw. He assured me that only a couple of teeth came out with it, no worries.

I came home feeling a bit sorry for myself, had a liquid lunch, took a couple of pain killers and went to sleep.  And after all that I felt a lot better.  I forgave the dental assistant for gagging me with the suction pump, or whatever it’s called.  The freezing came out of my eyeball and my nose.  Frankly I don’t care if they freeze my entire head, but why do dental people always ask complicated questions when your mouth is full of plastic and clamps and pink goop?

So what does all this have to do with Sunday?  Well, nothing really, it’s just what day of the week it happens to be, and the dentist visit happens to be what popped into my head.  And now I would like to pop it right back out again and listen to something that has nothing to do with drills and bridges and bibs around the neck.

There have been many covers of this song, but nobody comes close to Etta James.  Enjoy, and have a lovely lazy Sunday.

Look Mom – I Did it Myself!

These are the words that make a mother deliriously proud.  Or cause her to weep uncontrollably, depending on the situation.  Either of these reactions have also been known to follow all do it yourself projects performed by me in the privacy of my own home.  Friends and family will see and be prompted to praise the results of the successes, and the failures will die with me, along with other various missteps, fiascos and sordid secrets.

Prompts for the Promptless:  Do it yourself (DIY) is the method of building, modifying, or repairing something without the aid of experts or professionals.

What do we need experts and professionals for when we’ve got Google?  said a lot of clueless people who went on to learn that experts and professionals are not completely without merit after all.

For my do-it-yourself project today, I will be making a sun catcher.  I don’t really need or want one, but I have plastic beads hanging around which no grandchild seems at all gung-ho to string.  And I don’t want to throw them out and be all wasteful.  Better to throw out the finished product and feel good about myself for having at least given it a try.  Or file it under F for fiasco.  It’s kind of exciting to have no idea how something will turn out.

I am using an old pie tin that I will not miss if this whole thing turns out badly.

I am using an old pie tin that I will not miss if this whole thing turns out badly.

I am also using one of the good pie plates because I have way more stupid beads than I thought.

I am also using one of the good pie plates because I have way more stupid beads than I thought.

Notice the artistic arrangement in both cases with some opaque beads in one and only clear green, blue and purple in the other.  This is about as artistic as I feel like getting today.

While waiting for the oven to heat to 400 degrees, on the other side of the kitchen counter I ponder what to do with these three avocados I bought because they are supposedly so good for me.  The creative, multi-tasking side of my brain thinks putting them in a smoothie might be interesting, while the other side of my brain reminds me that I haven’t yet had breakfast.  Voila!  Coconut almond milk, a banana, scooped out avocado, key lime greek yogurt (which I bought accidentally thinking it was vanilla) and a bag of frozen spinach and kale results in this delightful looking concoction.

Before blending.

Before blending.

After blending.

After blending fuzzy close up. Do it yourself photography is a topic for another time.

The consistency and color are great, but the taste is rather disappointing.  In fact, there is no taste.  So I add a squirt of lemon juice, a shake of cinnamon and a couple scoops of frozen blueberries.  This makes the smoothie look like mud, but a lot easier to swallow.

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Starbucks is in no way responsible for this goop in their glass.

I can’t say for sure whether the aroma of melting plastic is adding or detracting from the avocado smoothie taste experience.

The melting process is supposed to take twenty minutes, but I’d suggest forty is more realistic.  This number comes from my admittedly limited experience – please note that I am not a professional or expert melter of beads.

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Sun catchers fresh from the oven. Wow, look how clean my stove top is!

The next thing to do is let these things cool, slip them out of the plates (ha – I’m not optimistic about that one), drill holes in them and hang them up with something like fishing line to catch the rays of the sun.  It’s cloudy today, so I’m not optimistic about that one either.  I notice the one on the left already has a hole close to one edge, so how forward thinking was that?  Flukey forward thinking is probably an apt name for it in this case.

Oh. My. God.  They really do pop right out of the pans.  And there is a little hole in the second sun catcher as well, proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is no luck like dumb luck.

Now I will pretend that I was never skeptical, and expected nothing less than these amazing results.  Because that's what true DIY people excel at.

Now I will pretend that I was never skeptical, and expected nothing less than these amazing results. Because that’s where real DIY people truly excel.

Okay, all that’s left of this Sunday project (which didn’t turn out to be from hell after all), is to air out that burnt plastic smell from my house and wish for some sparkly sunshine.  Plus think up some totally awesome weird thing to do with the two remaining avocados.  That should not be a problem as I appear to be on a roll.

Thank You Alanis

Happy Fathers Day

Happy Fathers Day (Photo credit: spaceyjessie)

It’s a travel Sunday for me, starting with a cab ride to the airport at five a.m.

Happy Fathers Day to all the dads out there who are spending their day in a more sane manner.  Every time I travel I think of my mom telling me before a visit – We’re coming to see you, dead or alive!  Well maybe you had to know my mom to get how funny that is.

Thank you Alanis for being grateful for all kinds of weird shit.

Thank you to the airplane Gods for safe flights.  Catch you on the flip side.

Love A Rainy Night

Paris in the pouring rain

Paris in the pouring rain (Photo credit: david.nikonvscanon)

The only thing better than a rainy night in Paris is a rainy night here followed by a rainy morning which turns into a rainy day.  And then a rainy weekend.  My little patch of the world is very green.  And extremely wet. Okay, maybe that’s not better than Paris.  But I can’t imagine their rain is any more fun than ours.

With two days off to stay in out of the rain, I am happy to report that Operation De-Clutter is going swimmingly!  Two big purple bins are full and tucked away in the basement.  I no longer feel like the walls are falling in on me. I can see the surfaces of things.

Still lots to do, but I may have to slow down in the next few days because the middle toe on my left foot is badly bruised.  You know how it is when you bang some part of your body on something and it really hurts, so you continue to bang into things with it several more times over the course of the day?  Just to make sure you can go through your entire repertoire of curse words?   That was my Sunday.  Hallelujah.  God gets you for doing housework in your bare feet.

I wanted to post some great rain music on Sunday, but I never got around to it, so it’s been bumped to Monday.  We’re not expecting to see much of the sun until Thursday this week, but I like the rain.  You can sing in it.  And laugh.  And walk hand in hand with the one you love and get drenched and catch pneumonia.  I put that last bit in to see if you were still paying attention.  It’s okay, I’m done, so you can go ahead and listen now, and let these rain songs make you feel good.