Holistic Haiku

Holistic Haiku

When I was little I decided one day to eat some dirt.  Just to get it over with.  I remember thinking that since life was full of all kinds of things you had to do that were unpleasant,  it was probably a good plan to do them as you thought of them, rather than let them all pile up and have a lot of them to do all at once.  So eating dirt was one I could get out of the way, and once it was done I would never have to concern myself with it again.  Pretty convoluted thinking for a little kid.  I remember it tasted pretty disgusting.

Since I did my blog on the 98 things a woman should do in her lifetime, I cannot get it out of my head that I really need to write three haiku poems about my most amazing, horrible and baffling sexual experiences.  I draw the line at framing them for my ‘boudoir’ – even dirt eaters have their limits.

So, here they are.


Down by the boat locks

Lost in each other ’til dawn.

This is forever.

(Well, let’s face it, it’s pretty difficult to relate a very personal experience and have other people get it.  And being restricted to five-seven-five syllables it’s damned hard to fit in anything even remotely erotic.  When we went to school in St. Catharines, W. and I used to drive down to the canal and “watch the boats”.  This particular night I don’t remember if there were any ships going by or not.  But that was the night we knew it would last, and it WAS amazing.)


Sand chafes.  Too much beer.

Heart throb retches on the beach.

Bad scene, so screwed up.

(This goes way back to when I was an experimenting teenager, and I’m a little happier with the images it conjures up, although I seriously wanted to use the ‘f’ word.  To really emphasize that passion and puking don’t mix. So feel free to substitute it in the last line.  You know how they say your first time is so memorable?  I believe they’re right.)


Big talk, wants action.

So much hype for what goes down.

Think perhaps he’s gay.

(Well, I mean really, how else do you explain the sudden backing down and subsequent lack of interest in me.  There was no chemistry.  And he was such a nice guy too.)

OKAY!  I have satisfactorily gotten this haiku nonsense out of my system.  It is WAY harder than it looks and I am SO never attempting it again.  Unless there’s a choice between writing haiku and swallowing bugs, in which case I might reconsider.

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