Do You Know Where Your Husband Is?

I don’t.  It’s ten thirty p.m. and he has yet to come home from work.  Not that this is anything unusual.  And not even what I was going to write about, but that’s what popped into my brain when I sat down, so there it is. 

Today I made a table!  Our old portable dishwasher had a great butcher block top which I have been ‘saving’ for years in various places around the house because it’s just too good to throw out.  A few days ago W. decided to do some house cleaning and actually put it in the garbage!  How crazy is that?  And then as I was dragging it to safety he had the nerve to ask me what the hell I was doing. Seriously.  Making a table, I told him.  So then I had to actually do that.  I got some red table legs from Ikea yesterday.  Not because red goes with anything around here, but more because grey and black seemed too boring for words.  Then I discovered that the screws provided were going to be too long, so I had to put my project on hold and go to a hardware store today.  There are walls and walls of nuts and bolts and screws in those places.  I’m sure I would have found the right thing eventually.  But a very nice man asked if he could help me, so I showed him the ‘too long’ screw and asked for something exactly the same only a little bit shorter.  Obviously he’s used to this kind of request.  He didn’t even roll his eyes as he whipped out his tape measure.  I needed twenty, and they came in packages of 18, so I bought two packages.  Because you never know. 

It really bugs me to have to measure things, so I just eye-balled the plate placement in each corner, marked the holes, used a drill, and then attatched all the plates and screwed in the legs.  And Voila!  A really strange looking square butcher block topped table with big red legs!  It’s not the right shape or even height, really, to use as a lap top table, but that’s what it is. It has to be something, or it runs the risk of getting fired out into the garbage at a later date.  If it were just a tad shorter it would make a great card table for midgets. 

Thankfully I don’t consider myself smart enough to build anything more complicated.  Which is one of the reasons I also went to Leon’s and wandered around their showroom for awhile trying to picture how various pieces of already assembled furniture would look in my living room.  It’s really hard to comparrison shop when the two sets you like are on opposite ends of the store.  So when another nice man asked if he could help me, I told him I wanted the one I was closest to at that particular moment.  He went off to find out if all the pieces I wanted were available.  And when he came back all delighted that they were, I didn’t have the heart to consider changing my mind.

So an earthy mushroom coloured sofa, love seat and chair are being delivered on Saturday.  Buying stuff is just WAY too easy.  One of these days I need to stop.  Although now if my coffee table looks ghastly…..that would be a good 37th anniversary present to myself.  And maybe some nice end tables for W.  Who is STILL not home from making deliveries all over hell’s half acre and beyond.