Making the World a Better Place

Our tent after the storm

The world would be a better place if we could just abolish camping. It’s one of the stupidest things we do to ourselves.

What idiot decided one day to pack up a whole whack of stuff he’d need to survive, travelled for miles, unpacked, got cold and hungry and rained on, put his back out sleeping on the ground, packed everything up again and travelled more miles to get home…..and then marvelled at what an excellent time he’d had as he tried to scrub the wood smoke smell out of his underwear? And how in the world did he convince other people to share similar experiences? It’s one of life’s mysteries how this demented pastime caught on.

I’m sorry, but I just don’t get it. I like my home and my television and my indoor plumbing. I like electricity and central air and clean sheets and daily showers. I’m not so fond of twigs in my hair and stinky sleeping bags and sharing my food with bugs. I can have a campfire in my backyard and drink beer and swat mosquitos and gorge on smores whenever I feel like it. There’s really no need to leave home. The sun shines just as hot here as it does in the forest or the mountains, and the wildlife isn’t as scary.

Stay home! Pitch a tent in the basement! The ‘After-Bite’ people won’t be happy, but probably a lot of bears will thank you.

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