Three Sheets to the Wind

Envy’s a coal comes hissing hot from Hell.

(Oh yeah? Well that’s a cliché, and it’s just SO yesterday’s topic.)

Yeah, but I’m feeling it. I gotta ask, where did you get that righteous toilet seat? The one with the manatees on it? Man. I want one so bad.

(Texas.)

Get out.

(I’m serious.)

Sweet. Hey, I’ve been wondering. Why can’t you buy a Texas Mickey in Texas?

(Same reason you can’t buy a manatee toilet seat in Canada.)

That makes sense.

(No it doesn’t.)

You’re right, it doesn’t.

(We shouldn’t have tried to drink the whole three litres.)

That’s 101 ounces in Texas, man. That much whiskey can make you see manatees in the damnedest places.

(Not to mention wicked envy.)

Did that make sense?

(Nope.)

I didn’t think so.

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