Compared to Peanut Butter

I’m going to make another peanut butter sandwich. Want one?

(You love peanut butter more than you love me.)

Of course I don’t.

(Tell me what qualities I have that are just as good as the ones peanut butter has.)

I can do that.

(Good. Go ahead. Think of five.)

You’re smooth.
And soft and soothing.

(Like music?)

Like a summer breeze, like a baby’s sigh, like gentle rain, like fruit in a blender…..

(You should have stopped at gentle rain.)

Sorry.

(It’s okay. Keep going.)

You can also be nutty.
And funny, and off the wall.

(I love to make you laugh.)

You do it more than you realize.

(Hmmph. What else?)

You never need to be refrigerated.
(Come on! You can do better than that.)

You never cause me to suffer a severe allergic reaction.
(Well yay for that.)

Anaphylactic shock is nothing to roll your eyes about.

(No, you’re right. I’m glad I don’t cause you to break out in hives and stop breathing.)

It’s a definite plus in any relationship.

(One to go.)

You are creamy and spreadable and luscious.
(HEY! There’s no need to get all graphic!)

How else can I make you believe I love you more than I love my precious peanut butter?

(Well, okay, that last one did convince me.)

What do you love me more than?

(I guess you would like me to say something profound like ‘life itself’.)

Or, you could just show me how much you love me and whip up that peanut butter sandwich…..

(I suppose you’ve earned it.)

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