Nope, not gonna tempt fate by saying what the best news I could receive right now might be.
Because then Fate might say to me – really? Is that all you want? You could have wished for a halt to global warming or world peace or no more holes in the ozone layer, but instead you have won the lottery but the world ends tomorrow, so I’d say you pretty much blew that one all to hell.
If you suddenly ran into your most recent ex, what would be your first response?
Ex Boss: She still has the power to make me cringe and feel ill. So I would smile and say hello and imagine what it would feel like to strangle her.
Ex Almost Son-in-Law: Even though he’s kind of an idiot, I would tell him I’m happy that he keeps in touch with his daughter, and be thankful for the bond they have with eachother. She loves her dad.
Ex Boyfriend: I’d say something tactfully brilliant like OMG, I thought you were dead! Either that or I wouldn’t even recognize him. Because that’s already happened.
Ex husband: I don’t have one. Yet. HAHA! Just kidding W. Probably the only way you’ll get rid of me is if one of us dies. Not trying to give you any ideas or anything.
Ex friends on Facebook: You deleted me as your friend! I can’t believe it! And I would have noticed sooner if I hadn’t had you on ignore for so long that I forgot you were my friend! Seriously, I’m crushed. Please reconsider, so that I can ignore your friend request.
Ex Paper Boy: I’ve missed you. Your replacement is a spastic unreliable little twit. (It’s your brother? Oooops. Sorry. I’m sure he’ll figure it out…..)