The Willow Is Green

Huh.  Here I am again, supposed to be tucked up in bed reading my kindle but I’m not.  Wouldn’t it be nice if I did this every night before turning in, summarizing my day with some sort of inspirational enlightening message, kind of like a Zen quote?  Just agree with me that it would be pleasing to read something like that, and don’t go expecting it to happen or anything.

I dearly love my days off, especially when I spend them at home doing relatively useless but nevertheless very time consuming things.  Today I sanded a wooden salt and pepper shaker shelf that I brought home from camp.  I got inspired while I was there, staring at it in all its tacky varnished glory.  The part that hangs on the wall is a flat circle, with a semi-circle shelf attached across its centre at right angles, and in the middle of this piece is a guy wearing a chefs hat and apron, also at right angles, so that he appears to be holding up the shelf.  Man, why didn’t I take a picture of it before I took it all apart?  I think all I’ve inspired here might be the beginnings of a migraine.

So, picture this guy glued to a round circle with a semi-circle shelf at his neck and his hand supporting it.  Seriously.  Who thinks these things up.

Anyway, this shelf was hanging close to the wood stove, and the salt and pepper shakers sitting on it were plastic which got too hot and became slightly more interesting mis-matched shapes.  We threw them out.  Once I get the wooden pieces all refinished and the chef painted and everything put back together again, I’ll go searching for some new shakers.  Maybe in the shape of mushrooms or cupcakes.   Or cows.  The sky’s the limit.  I have no idea what chefs carry around on trays but I’m thinking pizzas might be too flat and boring.


Well that is entirely enough fun for one day.  Tomorrow it’s back to the sweat shop.  Right now it’s kindle time.  What is the sound of one hand clapping? (Zen Koan).  In case you were still waiting for that Zen moment.

Hotest Hot Vs. Coldest Cold

Which one is worse? Worse for what? They’re both the worst for different reasons. Extreme anything is always worse than things in moderation. Extremes tend to make people extremely cranky. Would you rather build a snowman on your front lawn or a sandcastle on the beach? Crank up the heat or crank up the air conditioning?

I don’t like the cold and the snow and seeing my breath in the air. I don’t like how the snow crunches under my feet at 40 below and how the house cracks and groans and how the furnace won’t stop running, and how the heating bill (and the heat) go through the roof. I don’t like winter driving on ice and how sometimes it feels like my tires have frozen into squares, and scraping off the windshield and stomping the snow off my boots and putting on and taking off layers of bulky clothing and still having popsicle fingers and toes.

What I do like about extreme cold is looking at it from the inside out (with a furnace that never stops running of course.) A warm fire and some candles burning, a cozy throw, a good book, a hot drink. I’d be happy to spend the entire month of January every year here inside my nice warm house and never venture out into the freezing cold at all. I don’t like it when my nose gets cold and my eyeballs freeze and my lungs hurt.

I guess I’ve never really experienced extreme heat for very long, since way up here in the frozen north we’re not even sure we know what that is. For a few days one summer our temperatures reached 45 degrees celsius. That’s well over 100 fahrenheit. And too damned hot. Especially for sleeping. Unless there’s a turbo fan pointed directly at your head. When I fly to Ontario in the summer the heat and the humidity seem somehow much worse than our dry windy heat here in the west. It definitely does unfortunate things to my hair.

Everyone at work has been complaining lately that they’re keeping it way too hot in the building. It makes us tired and lethargic. We yawn a lot. We feel strangely moist. Ewww. Not sure what will happen when the cold weather actually sets in – perhaps we’ll be slow cooked. More likely they’ll shut the heat right down to minimum and we’ll be wearing woolen scarves and ear muffs and gloves huddled at our computers shivering ourselves to death.

What’s the BEST thing about extreme weather? We get to COMPLAIN our butts off about it. We get to form fierce opinions about what we hate. We can strike up conversations with complete strangers because they’re sure to commiserate. Some like it hot. Some like it cold. Bitching about whatever it is never gets old. Poetry for the masses.

Give me extreme fog and drizzle with intermittent bursts of misty sunshine. Right now I can’t think of anything bad to say about weather like that. I can breathe in that atmosphere and it feels good on my skin. And everyone’s hair will look like hell, so the state of mine will cease to matter.

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My New Theme

I am so excited with this new look for my blog!  I’ve gone from all cold silver and blue to this delightful dark red and strange pink ‘choco’ theme.  Even though it no longer looks like chocolate because I was able to change the brown to red because where it is pink now it was orange before.  Ick.  And I’ve stayed up way too late doing this.

So now I feel like I have to write something other than inane blather to justify still being awake.  One of the topics I read somewhere said to name five things I’m afraid to write about.  Here goes nuthin’.

1.  God.  Because he might smite me.

2.  Sex.  I do know a few things about it obviously, being a mother and all, but to put something down on paper without laughing hysterically is impossible for me.  And my fear is that other people would find it funny too, and it’s not really a topic that is supposed to make you laugh.

3.  Engineering Science.  I don’t even know what that is exactly, so I’m afraid the amount of research I would have to do on the subject might kill me.  Or make my head explode.  Or something nasty like that.

4.  Politics.  This is actually for fear of saying something incredibly stupid.  Or a great number of incredibly stupid things.  Although politicians don’t seem to care, so I don’t know what my problem is.

5.  Things that break my heart.  Because I might make you cry.  Or you would tell me to get a grip and suck it up and that would make ME cry.  And we certainly don’t want that.

That’s it.  All the taboo subjects which will henceforth never be mentioned again on this BEAUTIFULLY THEMED blog.

Goodnight nurse.