The Questions and the Answers

It’s still snowing!  Here and for real outside!  Don’t worry Patrecia, I’m not going to jail anytime soon.  Unless they make ‘death by pie’ a felony.

I know this is a big cop-out but I simply don’t have the time or the energy to answer these prompts properly;  still I can’t help feeling that it’s rude to just ignore them.  So here are the questions!  And here are my lame answers!  It’s a BLOG!  Nobody cares.  HAHAHA!  Yes, perhaps they ARE coming to take me away.

Name your favourite old movie.   I kind of liked “They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?”  starring Jane Fonda.  When I saw that one I thought she was brilliant.  And the story was excellent, but I gave the ending away to somebody and she’s probably never forgiven me for that – it completely ruins the movie if you know what’s going to happen.  So I’m not telling you anything else.

Do you enjoy winter sports like skiing and snowboarding?  Well I used to like to ski, and I think it’s a wonderful family sport, but it got crazily expensive and my bones got progressively more brittle and the kids grew up and W. got all wimpy about his back so we gave it up.  Snowboarding looks like fun.  Too bad there are so many idiots out there trying to injure themselves doing it.

When was the last time you saw a parade in person?  Apparently when I was very young, less than six but perhaps older than three….which would be a very wordy way of saying four or five…..I was at the Santa Claus Parade in downtown Toronto.  I remember absolutely nothing about it.  What I do remember is that my aunt was a dietician and she lived in the big city and she made us a really great meal.  She had red hair.  That’s about it.  Santa was totally wasted on me that trip.

Do you like children?  I used to be one of those.  I had two of my own.  They are a necessary evil I guess.

Who brings out the best in you?  Well now there’s a person I’d like to meet.  But I think he was killed in a bus accident shortly after I was born, so if you never see me at my best I suppose that could be why.

What are your most and least favourite things about the holiday season?  Least favourite is the shopping mania.  Although I’ve certainly been a part of that, trying to get the absolute best thing ever for everybody on my list.  You’d think by now I would have realized that it’s not even remotely possible to do that, and it’s time to give it up and get over it and just wrap something up and be done with it.  Let somebody else give the best present ever.  It does NOT have to be me.

Favourite part of the holiday season is getting together with family and friends and eating and drinking until I feel positively ill and then going off to take a nap somewhere quiet.  Although that’s not always possible.

If you could be involved in making a movie, would you rather act or direct?  I’d like to be the screen writer.  Then I could be all mad about how the actors aren’t right for their parts and the direction is pathetic.

What advice do you wish you had received earlier in life?  Do not ever aspire to become a screenwriter.  It will just piss you off in the long run.

List 10 things that you know to be absolutely certain. 

1.  There are 21 shopping days ’til Christmas.  If I continue to breathe I will still be shopping 21 days from now.

2.  Family is the absolute most important thing there is.  And the further you can extend your family, the better.  Like clear across the world and back is a good start.

3.  W is taking for flaming EVER to eat that damned apple pie.  Maybe he suspects something.

4.  Baby it’s cold outside.

5. People believe what they want to believe.  Otherwise they wouldn’t believe it.

6. It’s really hard to come up with ten things you’re absolutely certain about.  Because what if tomorrow everything changes?  Nobody wants to feel stupid.

7.  I have been blessed in this life.  I’m certain I should be WAY more appreciative of that fact.

8.  Tomorrow is the 4th of December and in one year and 17 days the world will end.  Okay, I’m not really certain about that personally, but there are people out there who are.  I certainly hope they’re absolutely wrong.

9. I am absolutely certain that nothing is absolutely certain.  Especially number nine.  Skepticism and doubt abound.

10.  I’m tired, my back hurts, it’s late, I have to work tomorrow and I’m going to bed.  Any one of those things could be a blatant lie, so you’ll just have to trust me on this because if I had to think up an eleventh certain thing I’d certainly be up all night. Goodnight, sweet dreams.  Oh and somebody gets shot in the end. Watch the movie. Quick, before I tell you everything.