Umbrella Day?

Who decided that the 10th of February would be a good umbrella day?  Or maybe a better question is where in the world is it raining today?  Not here, that’s for sure.  It’s 18 below.

There’s another umbrella day coming up in May and I think I’d rather celebrate that one.  So I’m going to make this one “Start Looking For Your Umbrella Now So You Have A Slim Chance In Hell Of Finding It By Springtime Day”.  I do have one somewhere – it’s kind of purple-y and pattern-ish….and little enough when collapsed to fit into very small spaces.  So that I can carry it anywhere, and also misplace it quite easily.

The first umbrella I ever owned was baby blue.  Then I went to black, having become much more sophisticated and boring.  Since attending a funeral where it was raining at the grave side and black umbrellas were everywhere, I don’t like them anymore.  Rain on my face would have been infinitely better than how it made me feel to look up at that ugly black barrier between myself and heaven.

Umbrellas are sometimes pretty useless.  I walked home from work once in such a down pour that the rain was hitting the sidewalk and bouncing back up, a foot high, I swear.  I was soaked from the waist down by the time I got home.  I’ve had an umbrella turn inside out in the wind, and opened a brand new three dollar one that had three broken spokes which were either there to begin with or happened with the trauma of being opened.  I should have taken it back for a refund, but seriously, who in their right mind thinks a three dollar umbrella is going to last longer than it takes you to walk to your car.  Live and learn.

I’ve never had a red umbrella, and I think it’s time.  So if I don’t find the purple one, at least I have some sort of back up plan in place.  Last July the two little girls next door went out walking down the sidewalk in front of our house all decked out in their yellow rain slickers and pink rubber boots carrying their Dora umbrellas – in the bright summer sunshine.  If little kids with vivid imaginations can get away with that, I see no reason why eccentric old people shouldn’t also be allowed to use their umbrellas whenever they feel like it.

And that gives me a clue as to who the Umbrella Day in February founder may have been.  Someone for whom every day is a potential umbrella day. So here’s my sage advice for this umbrella day in mid winter.  Carry an umbrella with you wherever you go.  Get one that stands out in a crowd.  Spend more than three bucks on it.  And in the case of high winds or torrential downpours, call a cab.

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