B is for Bottom

How beautifully random is this?  At the word BOTTOM is where I flipped open my dictionary this morning.  It was at the top of the page, and not the bottom, but I guess you can’t have everything.  And it’s also a bit random that my alphabet posts so far are – Z, A, and Y, so the next letter in that series must be B, going backwards and forwards at the same time.  This illustrates why I do so well on those IQ test questions where they want you to pick the next number or letter to fit some kind of bizarre pattern.  So B is also for bizarre and it’s very bizarre spelling.  As far as I know I have never actually put my random-pattern investigatory skills to any practical use.

Bottom is such a versatile word.  I’m going to make up a whole bunch of sentences to show you why, and hope some of them can be used to confuse the hell out of non-English speaking people.  With this language, it doesn’t take a lot of research to be able to do that.

1.  If you jump into a lake and dive to the bottom, you might be able to observe the bottom feeders there.

2.  It says ‘made in china’ on the bottom of my tea cup.

3.  The bottom half of the bookshelf supports the top.

4.  If you sit on your bottom in the same position for a very long period of time it could go numb.

5.  I found my long lost broken doll at the bottom of the trunk.

6.  Let’s get to the bottom of this.

7.  What’s the bottom line?

8.  He started out in this law firm at the bottom and worked his way up.

9.  I see you are wearing your pyjama bottom and nothing else.

10.  It’s very exciting when the score is tied and the bottom of the batting order comes up to bat in the bottom of the ninth.

11.  We used an all terain vehicle to traverse the bottom lands.

12.  I’m sorry I’m so tired, I’ve just bottomed out all of a sudden.  I don’t know how your supply of energy can be so bottomless.

13.  You can bet your bottom dollar, I love you from the bottom of my heart.

14.  The bottom of the bed is also the foot of the bed and should not be confused with the underside.

15.  When he had sunk so low and had nothing left and was living on the street,  he realized he had finally hit rock bottom.

16.  They decided to bottom the sub at the bottom of the sea.

17.  She has skin as soft as a baby’s bottom.

18.  The bottom of a house (basement or cellar) and the bottom of a ship (cargo space) both hold a lot of stuff.

19.  Let’s bottom this beer and order another round.

20.  Bottoms up!

This is the bottom of this particular blog.  I suspect a lot of people are very happy to have finally reached it.  On that sign way back up at the top, the bottom washing is in reference to boats.  In case you were thinking it might be something else entirely.