W is for W

It’s the first official day of retirement for W (second time around) and already midway through the day he’s showing signs of withdrawal and inability to cope.  If he says “Well, this is really weird” one more time I’m going to lose it.  He’s been off somewhere doing stuff no less than four times already.  Right now he’s driving across to the west side of the city to get a part for something because the exact part he’s after apparently does not exist here on the east side.

When I booked my two week trip to Ontario W assured me that he would still be here to pick me up from the airport when I got back on the 17th.  Of course I was way too smart to believe that for a minute.  Now that the ice is gone and Dan has been phoning and he has all this time on his hands, his own departure date gets bumped back daily. If he sticks around for Easter weekend I’ll be very surprised.  He can’t go until the furnace is installed though and I’m not sure if that’s going to be completed today or not, but the guy is still  banging around down there in fits and starts, because he keeps driving off to retrieve things he needs too. They both have some kind of parts neurosis.

W is also for WARP.  Lots of things can be warped – your mind, your sense of humor, your imagination, your values, your floorboards.  You can warp a ship into position, and travel at warp speed.  You need those warp threads to go with the weft or woof ones to weave.  Space and time and light can all be warped.  It’s a very handy word to use if something is twisted, distorted or perverted.  Also useful for insulting someone without being overly specific.  My husband is WARPED could mean anything.

I’m not exactly moving at warp speed getting myself packed and ready to go although I’ve done several things that could have waited.  Like wash my car.  We got splatted with a super huge mud spray yesterday which covered the windshield so thoroughly that we couldn’t see for a few seconds.  But now the car is all cleaned up for two weeks of being parked in the garage.  And the beauty of staying at my sisters house is that I can borrow whatever I forget.  I’m not sure if she’s aware of that but she’ll find out soon enough.

So after the wee hours of tomorrow morning, I won’t be seeing W for about five months!!  I’ve always said this is the reason our marriage has lasted so long.  You can be married for forty years if you spend half that amount of time never really knowing for sure where the other person is.  It’s worked out well for us, anyway.

Okay, this stupid suitcase is not going to pack itself.  Time to get serious.  Five a.m always gets here faster than we anticipate.