I used to love this silly poem when dad would recite it to us. He loved poetry and he loved nonsense. So it was a perfect fit.
Ladies and Gentlemen! Hobos and Tramps!
Cross eyed mosquitoes and bow legged ants!
Admission is free, please pay at the door.
Pull up a chair and sit on the floor.
I stand here beside you to sit down behind you
To tell you all something I know nothing about.
One fine day in the middle of the night
Two dead men got up to fight.
Back to back they faced one another,
Drew their swords and shot eachother, .
A blind man came to see fair play,
A dumb man came to shout hurray!
A mute onlooker shrieked in fright
And a lame man danced at the ghastly sight.
A deaf policeman heard the noise
And came to arrest the two dead boys.
A paralysed donkey passing by
Kicked them all and made them fly.
Knocked them through a nine inch wall
Into a dry ditch and drowned them all.
If you don’t believe this lie is true
Ask the blind man. He saw it too.
(There are other versions, but this is the one I remember.)