The “Who Cares About Any of This” List

English: Tea shades

English: Tea shades (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The real title (which got a bit long and out of control) is “relatively unimportant things in my life which nobody cares strongly about one way or the other, or needs more details regarding, even if one tiny enlightening thing is buried in this mess somewhere, because it probably will not be worth the time it takes to finally find it.”

Huh.  That kind of sums up the whole blogging experience here.  But some days the urge to write wins over sanity and the list making compulsion is impossible to resist.

If you choose to resist reading it, come on.  It’s only five minutes out of your life that you’ll never get back.

1.  The dog barks.  Thankfully it’s in brief spurts; at birds, grass, sudden noises, other dogs, people, trees, sirens, bugs, leaves, tree trunks and the back door.  It’s all random to me.  I can’t figure out his motivation so I guess I will never understand his master plan.

2.  There are all kinds of clip-ons.  When I think you are searching for a sunglass clip on to clip on to your glasses, and you are actually looking for a clip on that clips on to your sun visor in your car and holds your sunglasses clip on or your sunglasses, we can waste a lot of time saying ‘clip on’ and ‘sunglasses’ back and forth to each other before the light bulb finally comes on.

3.  Sometimes my cardboard coffee cup leaks at the bottom.  I hate that.

4.  My VDCC (vertex distance conversion chart) lives in my lab coat pocket and is getting ratched and hard to read.  What do you mean, ratched isn’t a real word?

5.  The prices I quote at work are nothing personal.  I don’t make them up just to annoy you.  I understand that you can purchase glasses at much cheaper prices in India and China (and everywhere else in the entire world if you’re to be believed.)  But what did it cost you to get there from here?  Hmmm?  And I’m also wondering, why did you come back?

6. Okay, that wasn’t nice.

7. Think happy thoughts.

8.  When I work alone my mind wanders and my brain goes numb.  Actually that also happens when I’m not working alone.

9. I play Draw Something on my phone.  The screen is small, my fingers are fat, and my drawings could be vastly improved by any normal four-year old.

Nobody Cares

Nobody Cares (Photo credit: zoonabar)

10. I have read the instructions on how to deliver a baby in a taxi cab.  Pregnant women would be wise to avoid travelling anywhere with me.

That’s it!  The end of the list!  Wake up.  Go home.  Enjoy your Sunday.