You Don’t Become A Hero by Being Normal

Yesterday I went to see the first 3-D movie of my life.  It was one of those spur of the moment things to decide to go at all and a last-minute decision as to which show to see.

So suddenly there we were, crazy glasses on, watching ParaNorman with things jumping off the screen into our faces.

There were some scary gruesome bits, so it might not be suitable for the very young, but kids quickly get to the age where they think it’s fun to be grossed out by ghosts and zombies.  It’s a great bold story with a strong moral lesson.  I don’t think it’s just for kids.

Hit Where One Lives

Annoying Orange: Kitchen Carnage

Annoying Orange: Kitchen Carnage (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This morning I was awake at five o’clock and could not go back to sleep.  So I decided to get up and move some furniture around.  Seriously.  This is the kind of thing I find myself doing when I’m home alone.  I vacuumed and did a bunch of bedding laundry and generally spent a lot of time taking things downstairs and bringing different things back upstairs. So basically, putting many things in many different places. Hmm.  Writing it down like this makes it sound easy. It was not. Some of those things were big and awkward and heavy.

Now I’m tired,  I have a sore shoulder, an aching wrist, a few bruises and a crappy attitude.  The timing is perfect to answer an annoying question or two.

What do you find annoying, irritating or unbearable in these categories?

Candy? Chips? We're Not Sure

Candy? Chips? We’re Not Sure (Photo credit: nep)

Candy –  gooey, sticky, messy, chewy, sickeningly sweet.  Does that cover all of it?

Song– constant repetition from outside sources, and even worse, inside my own head

Bad Habit– talking loudly on a cell phone in a public place.

School subject– before an exam, memorizing a bunch of hooey that you will never again need to know in this lifetime.

Personality Trait– refusing to listen to the other side of the story, forming an opinion without getting all the facts

Colour– flourescent lime green

Season– long, cold, dark, stormy, miserable winter

Animal– an annoying, irritating unbearable animal doesn’t really exist.  Perhaps we should ask animals for their opinion of us.

Celebrity– the whole idea of being famous and having your personal life thrown out there to the wolves.

Foods – how we process things to death and then wonder why we’re dying from eating them

Tone of voice– high squeaky little girl baby talk from the mouth of an adult

Style of music– I really, really do not like Rap.

Vehicle– Any vehicle can be annoying given the right irritating driver.

Sound– crying,  when you feel powerless to soothe the hurt

Event– anything that requires ridiculous amounts of money to pull off, when something simple and less lavish gets the same result.

Anything else? Oh, probably, but that’s enough negativity for one day, wouldn’t you say?  I’m going to go ice my shoulder and sulk for a while.  But it won’t be an unbearable sulk, just a mildly annoying one.

Stupid Spontaneous Outbursts of the Regretable Kind

Ever had one of those knee-jerk, immediate gut reactions to something without knowing where it came from, and made some emotionally charged unthinking response?

Shut up, you have so.  It’s an involuntary impulse we all have.  The words are out of our mouths before we consider their basis or their impact.  It’s what gets politicians and celebrities in big trouble.  When we don’t think before we speak we usually end up saying something we actually truly mean.  And possibly immediately regret.  Usually no amount of embarrassed revising, fumbling with different words, or flustered back-tracking can save us.

So that’s why, once I’ve said some asinine thing out loud without thinking, I like to walk away and pretend it didn’t happen.  That way when someone confronts me with it later I can act all innocent and artless about it.  What?  I don’t think I said that.  Come on.  I’m sorry you got the wrong impression. Poor me, so blameless and misunderstood.  I’m not saying this is the best course of action to take.  Maybe it’s the worst.  Maybe a preventative smacking of myself in the head before I speak would be helpful.

Thinking it Over

Thinking it Over (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I started thinking about this because of a rather innocent little thing that happened yesterday.  I was being advised by someone (who, by the way, gives out unwanted and unsolicited advice to everyone, twenty-four/seven) that I should tape an Amsler Grid to my bathroom mirror and look at it every day.  My mother had macular degeneration, and this grid is a test for it.  The CNIB website can tell you everything you ever, or never, wanted to know about it, or you can check out the information on Wikipedia  here.  My immediate reaction was a sudden strong desire to tell her to piss off and leave me the hell alone. Yes, you may well ask, where in the world did that feeling come from with such a vengeance?   I stomped off to the lunch room to wonder about it myself, before I could make some angry idiotic comment.

Normally I don’t try to analyze these things too much, but this time the reasons kept popping randomly into my head, so here they are:

1.  I don’t want to live in fear of something that might never happen. It’s not proven that this condition is hereditary.  If it happens, it happens, and then I’ll deal with it.

2.  I don’t want to tape ANY damned thing to my mirror.  That’s so tacky I can’t even think about it.

3.  Her mother had Alzheimer’s disease.  Have I suggested to her that she should put post it notes asking ‘what is this?’ on every object in her house, so that if one day she can’t remember the name of something she’ll know she’s got the disease?  No, I have not.

4.  I don’t want to be reminded every day of my mother’s struggle with something for which there was no cure.

5.  Anyone who dares to tell me what to do deserves to rot in hell.

Okay, that last one was a bit over the top.  Anyway, it’s done, I didn’t say anything incredibly stupid, and it’s time to get over it.  Don’t give me any advice about all this unless you’d like me to bite your head off for even trying to make me see sense.  Oh God, did I say that out loud?  I’m pretty sure I didn’t mean it.

Three Things One More Time

I’m still slogging through a revsion process and came across the following  effort which seemed worth another look and a re-do.  Please feel free to copy the headings and fill in your own answers!  I have no idea where it came from in the first place – probably one of those annoying chain type e-mails.English: Coffee for Love

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Lin
2. Mom

3. GrandmaGrandmaGrandma!

THREE THINGS YOU DON’T EVER WANT TO BE CALLED:

1.  Anything with a swear word in it

2.  Lazy and selfish (the truth hurts)

3.  Bellatrix Lestrange

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:

1. My razor sharp wit

2. My incredible beauty

3. My blatant sarcasm

THREE THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:

1. My inability to function as a human being without the aid of coffee

2. How much I enjoy doing nothing

3. The shape of my right foot – is that a BUNION for the love of God??

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:

1. Scottish

2. Irish

3. German, English, Russian, who really knows

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:

1. The Ocean

2. Wild Animals

3. Severe Weather

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:

1. Coffee

2. My computer

3. More coffee

THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE COLORS

1. Dark Red

2. Medium Red

3. Light red

THREE THINGS YOU VALUE IN A RELATIONSHIP:

1. Laughter

2. Respect

3. Separate vacations

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):

1. I would like to go back to Scotland some day

2. I love African decor

3. I’d like to drown at sea

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:

1. Reading

2. Writing

3. Reading something else

THREE THINGS YOU HAVE WISHED FOR

1. Rain

2. World peace

3. To win the lottery

THREE CAREERS YOU HAVE CONSIDERED

1. Brain Surgeon

2. Rocket Scientist

3. Optician

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO:

1. Home

2. To sleep

3. To heaven

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:

1. Live

2. Make the world a better safer happier place

3. Make W.’s life hell. (oh – I thought we were still doing the truth/truth/lie thing 😉