Yesterday was a bright sunshiny day. It was also day 5 of a 6 day work week for me, and about -17 Celsius with a brisk wind. I looked outside in the morning and said EFF THIS, or words to that effect. This is March for the love of all that’s holy, not January. It wouldn’t have been so disappointing to get all this snow if we hadn’t been seeing bare roads and snowless walkways and little tiny hints of spring. Now they’ve disappeared again.
I know I should not be saying bad words, not only because they don’t sound very nice, but also because they have no power to change the weather.
I will blame being tired of working, and maybe also the fact that muttering ‘oh dearie me’ like a proper grandmother just doesn’t cut it sometimes.
So for future reference, I have strung a few Eff words together and tried them out for effect:
Efface yourself you effete efficacious effigy of effusive effluvium!
Nope, it doesn’t make any sense, but neither does the real F word in about 99% of the ways in which it gets used.
So if I can just remember to repeat that little sentence with a lot of feeling, maybe kicking something at the same time, and without having my top front teeth go through my bottom lip, somehow I think the situation will seem ever so much better. And as an extra bonus, I won’t have to be so careful about what comes out of my mouth when there are small children about.
I want to wear my effing effusively fun spring coat. Really, is that too much to ask for the middle of March for crying out loud? I promise I will be in a better mood once I’ve had a couple of effectual days off. But right now, if it’s spring where you are, I effortlessly don’t like you very much.