For a couple of days I have been under the weather with a summer cold. Why do they always seem to be ten times worse than the colds we get in the winter? My head is full of sawdust. All day today it has been pouring rain, but that just gives me an extra excuse to stay inside and moan and sniffle and generally feel very sorry for myself. I have also been taking naps. I am embarrassed to say how many of them, so I won’t even try to calculate that. Let’s just say over 50% of my day and leave it at that.
There’s no one around right now to care how quickly and often I fall asleep, but if there were, here’s a list of nap excuses I’d use to make myself seem less of a sleepy head, or an old grandma who nods off mid conversation. Maybe I wouldn’t do that if the conversation was interesting, but I’d advise you not to place any bets on it anyway.
1. I was just resting my eyes for a minute. (My own grandma used this one a lot, and you’re right, no one believed her.)
2. I was doing some mood lifting, by bathing my brain in the neurotransmitter serotonin. What? You’ve never done that? I thought everybody did that.
3. I was meditating. It was very deep.
4. Those were my deep breathing exercises and you’ve made me lose my place. Now I’ll have to start over.
5. Recharging my batteries. They were at less than 20%.
6. Doing some horizontal rejuvenation maneuvers.
7. Practicing my person in a stupor role in case I ever have to play that part in a movie.
8. Experimenting with dream phenomenon.
9. Catching up on my adventures in slumberland research.
10. I always close my eyes when I put my brain in neutral. Too bad the same thing rarely happens with my mouth.
I suppose a nap by any other name is still a nap. Power napping is supposed to be good for you – increases your creativity and intelligence – in which case I must be verging on brilliant by now.
I’d write more, but I’m feeling the need to rest my eyes again. I was a cat in my last life. I think I may consider that option again the next time around.