Mulligans

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Mulligan is that great golf term, used when a shot is not counted against the score.  It is permitted in unofficial play to a player whose previous shot was poor.  Like a do-over.

Well I would like a Mulligan of my last two days off.  There is so much nothing to do, two days just isn’t long enough to do it all.  I have accomplished as little as humanly possible without actually forgetting to breathe.  And thus procrastination has been taken to a whole new level, because I don’t even know what things I should be doing that I am so determinedly avoiding.

There was some vague plan in my head to play so much Candy Crush that I would get sick of it and stop for a while. So far, this has not worked.

I played around on an Instagram app and made these two collaborative pictures.

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I drank a lot of coffee.  I did some grocery shopping.  I read some books. I slept late and went to bed early.  I read every single inspirational thing on Facebook.  And some things that were not at all stimulating or helpful or moving but I read them anyway.  Because they were there.

Eventually I sat down and wrote this post about it all.  I don’t know about you, but I am now completely worn out and done reliving it and ready for bed.  Never mind the Mulligan – I would probably do the same non-things all over again anyway.

I have the expertise, if anyone needs guidance on whiling away time and goofing off.  If you forget to call, I’ll understand.

Just Jazzy 155

Try to learn to breathe deeply, really to taste food when you eat, and when you sleep, really to sleep.

Try as much as possible to be wholly alive with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell.  And when you get angry, get good and angry.

Try to be alive.  You will be dead soon enough.

(Ernest Hemingway)

Feel the joy, share your light;  live and love with all your might.

Feel the joy, share your light; live and love with all your might.

Effective Interpretive Dance

IMG_0178I can’t say from personal experience that this works, but I’m going to keep the option in mind.  Being cross-eyed and green probably helps too.  This guy has a lot going for him.

Yesterday a very nice lady asked me what lenses she could purchase for her glasses to enable her to see across the room in dim light.  She did not want to hear that there is no such thing and that we did not have magical optical solutions for this particular problem.  Try brighter light bulbs.  Or a miners hat.  Or get off your ass and go closer to whatever it is you’re trying to see in the dark. I didn’t say any of these things out loud but I’m working on my dance moves to get this kind of message across.

Perhaps I will be retiring sooner than I think.

Just Jazzy 154

“I believe in everything until it’s disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it’s in your mind. Who’s to say that dreams and nightmares aren’t as real as the here and now?”
―     John Lennon

I've seen dark fairy rings in the grass left by their dancing feet, glitter on toadstools,  and I've felt the flutter of their gossamer wings on my cheek.

I’ve seen dark fairy rings in the grass left by their dancing feet, glitter on toadstools, and I’ve felt the flutter of their gossamer wings on my cheek.

Bad Things Happen in Threes

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These are not three bad things, they are three good things that work well to offset the bad. This picture is from somewhere on Facebook. I really need to start writing down who is responsible for this stuff.

Our Thanksgiving dinner was yesterday because today I get to work the actual stat holiday and make regular pay plus stat pay and perhaps die from boredom in the process.  These holidays are never busy for us at work, unless you count being a glorified repair service for broken arms on glasses, or emergency suppliers of the odd contact lens.

Yesterday, in the middle of preparing dinner,  I knocked almost a full glass of my smoothie on to the floor where it splattered for miles into as yet undiscovered places.  What a mess.  It also got all over me, so I cleaned it up and changed my clothes.  Then when I took the splattered clothes down to the laundry I got more smoothie on myself and my second outfit.  Change of clothes number three.  Later when I tried to shove a bowl of vegetable cooking water (for making gravy) out of the way on my counter I forgot that the bowl has a rubber non slip thing on the bottom of it, so it tipped over and a tidal wave of hot water soaked my work surface.  Yay.  Another unexpected clean up.  And THEN, while clearing the table after dinner I knocked over my finish-the-last-of-the-bottle-because-it’s-too-little-to-put-away glass of WINE!

At which point I remarked – thank gawd that’s the third spill of the day and thus the last.  Because bad things always happen in threes.  And there had been two sets of them in one day all ready.  Also,  there was more wine to open if I really needed more, which I didn’t, obviously, if I was at the glass knocking-over stage of the day for me.

We ate too much and packed the fridge full of whatever left overs we couldn’t force our daughter to take home with her, and went to bed, thus avoiding whatever third set of three bad things the universe had in store for me.

Perhaps I’ll find out today.  Happy Thanksgiving to everyone celebrating it today.  Hope you don’t get indigestion or break your glasses.  Or spill your wine.

Deep Subjects

Wishing well at the castle of Zumelle, Belluno...

Wishing well at the castle of Zumelle, Belluno, Veneto, Italy. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Well……

It appears I’ve taken an unplanned, unannounced and ridiculously long break.  Long for me, anyway, because of this blog-a-day thing with which I like to torture myself.

I have many teeth stories that even I’m sick of hearing, so I’ll just say I now have a mouthful of them thanks to a small permanent bridge filling up a space that’s been empty for years.  Yay for one less empty space in my head.  And only one more trip to the dentist, and then he can go off on an extended vacation once my bill is paid.

Yesterday was seniors day at Shoppers Drug Mart and the cashier didn’t even ask me for ID to prove I’m over 55.  Seriously.  Even though I’m well over that and have an honest face, she still could have made my day by doubting me.  Whatever, the discount was nice.  Getting to be ancient has it’s perks.

Not so perky is the hearing loss where I misunderstand people who mumble in a quiet and irritating manner, saying things like “seduced LSD is a sin” when they actually mean “reduced elasticity in the skin”.  Come on people, either speak up or I’ll have to go see an audiologist.

And speaking of ‘seeing’, yesterday I misread the question “What makes a great teacher?” as “What makes a goat tender?”  That was on my phone where the printing is small.  Could have happened to anyone, right? And means practically the same thing.  My life has become infinitesimally more interesting lately.  No wonder old people wander around looking dazed and confused.

At work I continue to be a geezer magnet.  Eighty year old men love me.  A ten minute glasses dispensing job turns into a half hour gab session as they tell me their life stories.  A delightful man told me all about his triple bypass surgery, and how he had to stay in the hospital an extra three days due to constipation.

Another explained how doctors removed four litres of fluid from his asbestos inflamed lungs, and now his feet swell up all the time.  I did not ask how those two facts are related.

Did you know that a box of ammunition for a 22 rifle used to cost twenty five cents, and that an 11 year old way back in the day picking off gophers could become a sharp shooter really fast? Neither did I.

Canada is the absolute best place in the world to live and in Texas you can shoot an intruder and then just call somebody to come pick up the body.  I could think of no reply to that double barrelled  bit of information, but I think perhaps one or both of those statements may not be entirely true.

Well, who knows.  Maybe I didn’t hear him right.   Because, you know, think about the winters here.

It’s been another beautiful fall day.  I went for a hair cut and didn’t cry.  W brought home Chinese take out.  I was able to chew stuff.

Life is good.

October Post For Peace

This month’s Bloggers for Peace Challenge:  Let’s visualize what a peaceful world will look like.  What is your dream of peace?

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Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog

As much as I love this guy, don’t worry, my vision of world peace doesn’t have Neil Patrick Harris running the show and calling the shots.

Ruler of the World would be an impossible job, unless we could all miraculously agree on some universal ideal and be okay with having that enforced until someone comes up with something better.  Everyone on earth happily following all ‘the rules’.   But we’re human, and we all know that’s not likely going to happen.  There will always be rule breakers, no matter how well-intentioned the rules may be.  Some of us would get bored in a hurry and decide to stir things up.  Some of us thrive on chaos.

And then we’d simply end up with a brand new mess.  Have you noticed that has happened before?  There are as many reasons for our lack of peace and happiness as there are individuals on this earth.  We’re a very unpredictable assortment of characters,  because each one of us has some inner battle to fight, insecurities and fears to face, wants and needs and goals to attain. Who wants to try to contain and control all of that?  Not me, and probably not Neil Patrick Harris either, if he stops to think about it for a minute.

My dream of peace is simply that everybody tries their hardest to learn to get along.  I just want all of us to stop fighting, have fun, and be happy.

And yes, I DO have some helpful hints.  I’ve been a MOM, after all, and what mom doesn’t wish for that kind of blissful family life?  I believe that these are some of the things we need to do to live more peacefully, teaching our children by example.  And then maybe we can spread the love around and reach all the “children” of every age all over the world.

1.  Love and be kind to yourself first. Be your own best friend, happy with exactly who you are.  You are worthy of love and acceptance and you deserve to be here.

2.  Never be afraid of what comes next.  Things over which you have no control are going to happen. That’s life. You will be okay. You will probably come out a better and wiser person on the other side of it all.

3.  Be grateful every day for what you already have in your life.  If you’re not, what makes you think you’ll be happy with more?

4.  A meaningful life is not made by becoming rich, popular, highly educated, powerful or perfect.  Emptiness cannot be filled by someone else or by many possessions.  Look after the spiritual you by staying real, by being strong, and by sharing yourself and touching the lives of others.  Money can’t buy you love, is what I’m trying to say.

5.  “People aren’t either wicked or noble.  They’re like chefs salads, with good things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict.” (Lemony Snicket)  Be kind, respectful and tolerant of others.  There is something good and worthy of love in every person you meet.

6.  “We are all going to die.  All of us.  What a circus!  That alone should make us love each other, but it doesn’t.  We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities.  We are eaten up by NOTHING.”  (Charles Bukowski)  Don’t get eaten up by nothing.  Life is much too short to waste even a minute of it.

7.  Don’t get so caught up in making a good life, dealing with life, or just floating through life that you forget to actually live it.  Stop chasing better tomorrows.  Today is yesterday’s tomorrow, and today is really all you’ve got. Make it marvelous.

8.  Give unconditional love to the earth and all of its inhabitants.  We are all in this together.

9.  All of your ancestors are right there behind you.  You are the result of the love of thousands and you are never alone.

10.  “Everything we do is infused with the energy with which we do it.  If we’re frantic, life will be frantic.  If we’re peaceful, life will be peaceful.” (Marianne Williamson)  Breathe the air, feel the love, share the joy.

Live a full, contented and happy life.  You can do it.  Love and peace are all you need.

bloggers for peace

Delightfully Different Life

Terry Kinden Bullying Prevention

Tomas Heartflow 2013

Not Your Average Hot Spring

Trifecta: this weekend’s prompt.

As you know, Trifecta has a history of dedicating the
entire month of October to Halloween. We’re kicking it off early and easy with
this prompt:

You’ve found some old books. On page 3 of one of the books,
this illustration appears.

Give us the 33 words that follow this illustration. What happens
next?

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Well?

DID IT WORK??

Harry checked the brochure.

All tension and worry washed away, it said.

Mind and body relaxed, muscles soothed.

Detoxified.  Blemish free.

Turned you swamp green, Gordie!

So……

Hell YEAH!

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trifecta button

I have missed the deadline for this prompt and the challenge is closed so I can’t link up, (yes I am a procrastinating idiot) but I’m posting it purely for my own amusement anyway.  Cuz I really like the picture.