Really

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Our gigantic tree dropping its leaves in at least four backyards.

Several things yesterday got me saying “really?” or even “REALLY??”  It was really that kind of day.

  • We got stuck in traffic on the way to the hospital.  There is construction going on all over this city and we are running out of alternate routes.  Everyone says it will be nice when it’s done, but construction is like housework and will never be done.
  • The nurse at admitting asked me if I hadn’t already checked in because she had me marked off on her list.  Nope, just got here.  So off she went to find my impersonator.
  • Flipping through a home decor magazine I came across instructions for kitchen art. Paint some utensils white, hot glue them (artistically arranged) to a red board, put them in a frame and hang them up. On the same page there was an ad for glass cocktail wands.  So much classier than swivel sticks.  I guess.
  • The many people around me were comparing their various wait times and how far behind things were when a nurse called me to say my doctor was running ahead of schedule.  Do I know how to pick a surgeon or what?
  • Hospital garments confuse the hell out of me.  What goes frontwards and what goes backwards with a gazillion dome fasteners and ties and elastic papery things for gawd knows what.  By the time I got it all figured out we were probably back on schedule.
  • I lost count of how many people with clip boards and check sheets asked me the same questions over and over.  I think they were all planning to meet up in the O.R. later and compare notes.
  • One minute the anesthesiologist was starting my  I.V.  and the next minute it was two or three hours later and I was somewhere else.  This is what time travel must feel like.
  • On a scale of one to ten, one being discomfort and ten being the worst pain you’ve ever felt, how would you rate your pain?  I don’t know.  I hate math.  I had different levels of pain in different places – neck, throat, back, head.  I didn’t want to sound like a wimp or a whiner so I said it was a four.  Wrong answer!  No extra pain meds for you.  Next time they asked I upped it to five.  Still not high enough.  Sigh.
  • After i was declared sane enough to leave, W wheeled me down to the main entrance and left me sitting in front of the hospital directory sign while he went to get the car.  No one asked me for directions.
  • It’s impossible to keep your head still in a moving vehicle even if you hang on to it with both hands.  I suffered a thousand mini whiplashes on the drive home because we kept braking for pedestrians and red lights.  Yes I am being overly dramatic.  I believe most post op patients are.

The pain med prescription bottle says one or two tablets every four hours as needed and they gave me 30 of them.  They are supposed to cause drowsiness but I managed to have a restless night anyway.  I am supposed to leave the steri-strips in place for seven days.  They told me not to have a shower for two days.  REALLY??  That rule is already broken because our shower is hand-held and I kept my neck dry.  Fewer people will die as a result.

Now once again we wait for answers.  Follow up is in two weeks.  By then I should look less like a bus ran over my face.  Another drama queen statement.  Sorry.  I’m drowsy.  Not quite as exhausted as this topic, but close enough.

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21 thoughts on “Really

  1. Don’t ever stop writing. Thoughts I had while reading this:
    1. I wish I’d said that. 2.yes,yes and yes ( I stopped numbering here) Those gowns are fun. I wore two the last time I had surgery, both x-large. To cover everything, not that I have anything left that would inflame a doctor. Still you never know, there are perks everywhere.

    Fingers crossed for your outcome in two weeks. I still think it might be a big fat cell. At least you don’t have to fly through an American airport next week. Ebola would be worse.

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    • HAHA! I wondered how that was a perk….. The “shower cap” in the O.R. was the best part of the ensemble. They still managed to get that yellow stuff they paint on the incision area in my hair. But it went well, and that’s what’s important. Glad nobody filmed it. 😄

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  2. I have gone through similar situations, I can totally relate. I hate when they ask you the same questions over and over. Isn’t all the info in the computer? I saw them type it in! Ugh. And yes, always pick a high number if you need pain meds. At least 6 or 7 where I live. I agree: “Construction is like housework and will never be done.” Feel better soon!

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    • Yes, all the questions wore me out. I felt like changing my story to see if they were paying attention. Then in recovery they told me to save my voice and not talk, but still kept asking me stuff. I know the procedures and surgeries you’ve had done are so much more complicated and serious than my little day surgery and I admire your courage through it all. Really appreciate you stopping by and hope you’re all better soon too. xxoo

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  3. You’re entitled to whine. Just remember when nurses are asking you how you’re feeling, unlike the check out lady at the supermarket, they really want (need) to know. Wishing you on that other side of that wait, with a positive outcome.

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  4. Here’s hoping you’re feeling much better following surgery and all future news is good news. If I never saw a surgeon again in my life I’d be happy, then again without them I wouldn’t be here so on balance I guess it’s a necessary evil.

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