Tag Archives: changes

Things Change

imageDid I promise you historical pictures from long ago?  Well here’s a furry little face from the past.  I still have this kitchen, but there have been a few changes.

  1.  Our cat, Ash, hanging out in the tea towel drawer just because she can, is no longer with us.  That drawer still holds dish towels, but less cat hair.
  2. The brass cupboard handles were changed to blue wooden knobs.  At the time I believed that was a vast improvement.
  3. The green countertop (which I didn’t like, because GREEN) has been replaced with a blue one.
  4. We no longer have that white coffee pot, that wire utensil holder, that Braun mixer, that cutting board or that paper towel holder. Proof that I am very good at wearing things out.
  5. The wallpaper is long gone.  I originally put it there to cover up green tiles.  Then I discovered paint for tiles, removed the paper and painted the tiles white.  That paint turned out to be amazing stuff and is still there.
  6. I think we have had about three different stoves since this one.
  7. If we still have that coffee cup I expect it is somewhere holding pens and pencils like all the other retired coffee mugs in my house.
  8. The frosted flakes and the contents of the red bowl have been eaten.
  9. If you look closely you can see the bottom of a spice rack on the upper part of the stove.  I took that apart and made it into a book holder which I duct taped to our tread mill.  Sadly I do not have a photo of that piece of work.
  10. I believe that blue thing sticking out of the drawer beside the cat might be a crocheted tea cozy.  Such things no longer exist in this house.  They have gone the way of the tea-pot.

I suppose I should thank my cat for her love of small spaces and her knack for doing annoying things, because otherwise this historical kitchen photo would not exist.  And you would never have known about recycled spice racks.

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365 Writing Prompts January 6 – My Favorite:  What’s the most time you’ve ever spent apart from your favorite person?  Tell us about it.

I’ve got as many different favorite people in my life as there are reasons for having them so it’s not possible to come up with some finite time period to describe to you.  Who keeps track of that kind of stuff anyway?  An hour can feel like forever and years can pass by in the twinkling of an eye.

If there’s anything I’ve learned in this life it’s that everything changes.  A high school teacher once told us, after a train accident (of all things) had taken the life of one of our classmates, that this was the time in our lives when we would start to experience the grief of death and loss, and that it would continue to get worse as we got older.  Imagine that, life being even more depressing after high school.  It starts much sooner for some of us of course, when a beloved grandparent or uncle or simply someone we assumed would always be around is suddenly physically gone.

But here’s the good thing about that.  If we remember them, they never really leave us.  Everyone we’ve ever met becomes a small part of who we are.  I miss the physical presence of my mother but in every other way she is still with me.  I think she will be inside me for eternity, in my head and in my heart.  Maybe my eternity will last eighty years, or maybe it’s already into eons if my soul is as old as I’ve been told. That either matters or it doesn’t.  Does time have to be measured?

Another thing I’ve learned is that the only one who will for certain be with me for the duration is me.  I am the common denominator in this great math problem known as my life.  So that should make me my all time favorite person and either a raging ego maniac or someone simply comfortable in her own skin.  I can’t get away from myself, no matter what role I choose to play. Might as well like who I am with all the labels stripped away.

A casual friend tried to convince me once that the absolute worst and most feared state we face as human beings is to be alone.  She is that person all of us have bumped into at some time or other who asks for our opinion so that she can go on and on at great length explaining to us why it is not only wrong but also stupid.  I think that explains why we’re not really close.  When I was silly enough to mention that I love my alone time, she just said, no, you don’t.  Inconceivable that anyone could be on their own and happy about it.

Being alone was actually preferable to her company right about then, although I think she would have found that idea preposterous.  Just a guess.  But I do like my own company, I like the quiet and the stillness and how relaxed I feel when I’m being perfectly me with no one to impress or entertain or piss off with my dumb opinions.

If you have a favorite person and you hate it when that person goes away, that’s okay, but it’s also not something to get obsessed about.  Things change.  If that person never comes back, you will go on living.  The hole in your life will fill back up and even though it will never be the same, it can still be good.

Well, is that enough blather for today? Enough of me talking to myself and wishing I would shut up already so I can go read a book or something?   I think that’s a yes.  See how agreeable I am?  I love me.

365 writing prompts

High School Reunion

My highschool was SO small there’s only been one ‘reunion’ that I’m aware of, and that was several years back and encompassed classes from a span of 20 or 25 years.

I suppose the odds of bumping into someone I actually attended classes with was pretty good. But it was all the way across the country and the more I thought about it the less I felt like seeing people I didn’t much like in the first place and probably wouldn’t recognize anyway. How utterly depressing to see how fat and bald and crazy we’ve all turned out to be.

So nope, not for me. Unless they turn up on Facebook (and some of them have – looking old and bald and crazy) I guess our ties are forever severed. Growing old alongside someone is one thing, where the changes are smooth and gradual. It would be another thing entirely to see somebody after a 30 year interval – could prove to be too much of a shock and probably even downright scary. Worse than looking in a mirror! My heart might not survive it.

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