Art du Jour 40

Here is what appears to be the second piece in a series.  If I get to number three I guess I’ll have to name it something.

Many years ago I purchased a book called House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski.  It is 700 plus pages of nightmare inducing insanity.  There are many different fonts, margins are all over the place, some pages are blank, some are written sideways or upside down.  It is filled with footnotes and appendices.  Notice I’m not telling you what this novel is about.  Frankly I’m not sure.  However, it is the most perfect mishmash of pages ever to repurpose into art.  I am not destroying a book, I am immortalizing it.  And in the process, not making it any less difficult to read, really.

My process starts with ripping out pages, cutting them up, painting them both sides with a mixture of acrylic paint and matte varnish, and sticking them on a canvas.  In a pleasing artistic fashion, or in a bizarre confusing mess.  Or both.  Then layers are added until it’s time to stop.  That’s actually the hard part, telling myself, okay, this is good, leave it alone and walk away.

This daylight saving thing should not be screwing up my schedule since I don’t even have one anymore, but things like eating and sleeping have not been by the clock this week.  I’m far behind in replying to comments and getting through e-mail and sometimes I watch crime shows first thing in the morning with my coffee.

There, that’s all the secrets you’re getting out of me today.  I have a book to cut up.  And that’s something I never thought I’d say.

Coffee Killers

Bottle of Baileys Irish Cream

Bottle of Baileys Irish Cream (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I just did a pop answers thing on Facebook (it’s an application that mimics Family Feud where you try to guess the most popular answers to a question in a limited amount of time.)  I’m completely stupid at it unless I think about the question for at least five minutes before clicking the play button.  Because when that clock is ticking down my brain likes to stop working and panic about the fact that the clock is ticking down.  But how simple should it be to list the things people put in their coffee?  Why think about that one?  It’s a limited list, is it not?  I’m not so sure anymore.

The most popular answer SHOULD be nothing, because coffee really is best enjoyed uncorrupted if it’s made right in the first place.  But that wasn’t one of the answers.  McDonald’s coffee is better than Tim Horton, in my humble opinion, although neither one requires any help in the good coffee flavour department.  Starbucks ties with Tim’s.    Unfortunately a lot of coffee requires some sort of addition to  make it taste decent.  Including my own, although it’s fresh ground Starbucks beans, I just like it better with hazelnut cream.  Which also was not one of the answers.  And nobody said artificial sweeteners!  Restaurants might as well just put those away I guess.

Cream.  Sugar.  Milk.  Baileys.  I got those four fast enough.  Chocolate I hit on at the very last second.  Mocha.  Yummm.   Kahlua I missed!  Adding Kahlua is overkill, isn’t it?  What are you trying to do, make your coffee taste like…  I also did not write Whiskey, although it was one of the popular answers.  Seriously.  I didn’t think of it because I don’t understand why anyone would purposely mutilate both their whiskey and their coffee in one fell swoop.  I guess I’m not Irish.  I find the combination slightly revolting.  I’ve tried the Irish Cream cream too, and I don’t like it either.

But the last one is truly gag-worthy.  Cinnamon.  I kid you not.  I have to admit I’ve never tried it, but I’ve never tried live worms in my coffee either and don’t really feel I need to do that to discover that it makes me sick.  Cinnamon is for buns and apple pies.  Put it in your hot apple cider if you must, but please, leave the coffee beans alone.

Cinnamon!  My brain is still reeling.