The Devil, the Magician, and the Moon

Those are the three cards that turned up on my tarot app today.  The association of the Magician with the gentle Moon means that I am now ready to open up to others again, after a period of withdrawal, perhaps caused by disappointment.  I am supposed to leave the clouds behind.  Life is good.  Anyone who works with me had better do what I say.  (I swear, I am not making ANY of this up.)  The alliance between the Devil and the Magician indicates an inexorable will that is causing me to behave in a devilishly authoritarian way.  Luckily, I have the charisma to sweeten the pill.

English: The Magician card from the Visconti-S...

English: The Magician card from the Visconti-Sforza Tarot deck. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I seriously love this shit.

Well except for that time I drew both Death and The Hanged Man, one after the other.  And topped that  with the Tower, showing a burning building with people falling from the windows,  portending shock and upheaval.  Impending doom is not the first thing you want to think about when you start your day.

I really don’t need to be told that I’m going to be cranky and dictatorial with everybody, so when that happens I re-draw the cards.  When they finally decide to say something nice, like how it’s an ideal day to stop worrying and cultivate that zen outlook,  I simply choose to go with that.

Insane?  Yeah, I guess.  But the power of suggestion is a compelling thing.  What’s that sociology theory I learned all those decades ago – If men define situations as real, they are real in their consequences.  Actions are affected by subjective perceptions.

If you believe that life is good, the consequence is your happiness.  If you think you have a cart load of charisma, chances are you will act the way a charismatic person acts.  If you can see your way to opening up to others and leaving the clouds behind, life will be good.

Our reality is whatever we choose.  I just seem to need more hints and clues and suggestions and maybe even kicks in the ass.  The Devil should be able to help me out with that while he’s also giving the boot to Death and the Hanged Man.

Meanwhile, I’ll be dancing with the Magician under the Moon.

In a Former Life

To be a truly ‘religious’ or spiritual person I think it is necessary to explore and study and try to understand as many belief systems as our little brains can handle. The more we open our minds to all the possibilities, the better able we are to see that there is no such thing as an exclusive set of beliefs. It becomes more and more difficult to say “I am this” or “I am that” or this is the only truth there is, this way is completely right and that way is completely wrong. Everything overlaps. All religions have the same basic premise, but there are an infinite number of twists and revisions and spins put on things until each one of them comes up with their own little book of rules.

I like the idea of a soul or a spirit in an endless cycle of death and rebirth. Plants die in the fall and come back to life in the spring. Adult animals die and their young take their place with the same instincts and talents for survival. We like to think we’re above all that and more important, maybe because we are able to put all our crazy ideas down on paper and convince other people of their brilliance.

I like the idea that the immortal soul is held prisoner by the body until it completes its spiral of ascent and is finally set free. I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch to think that we get as many chances at this as we need to finally get it right, whatever ‘right’ might be.

I like the Taoist teachings that tell us “Birth is not a beginning; death is not an end. There is existence without limitation; there is continuity without a starting-point. Existence without limitation is Space. Continuity without a starting point is Time. There is birth, there is death, there is issuing forth, there is entering in.”

I respect the things that people believe in, as long as those beliefs give them comfort and peace, and as long as they don’t try to force me to agree with them.

And yes, I do know that the question was “what other person or animal could you have been in a former life?” Have some patience, I’m getting to that. I’d love to say I was Joan of Arc or Cleopatra or Florence Nightingale, but if that were true I haven’t learned much or been able to transfer many of their good traits into my present life.

So I’m thinking I was probably a house cat. I am lazy and self-indulgent and like to sleep a lot. When I was young I was cute and playful. I have been known to hiss and spit when I get angry or frightened or just for the hell of it. I don’t like dogs, but I can tolerate them if I have to. I like to sit completely still and stare off into space. I pretend to be aloof and untouchable. I take affection for granted and being pandered to is my absolute favourite thing ever. It must have been a good life because I appear to be trying very hard to replicate it all in this one. Perhaps in my next life I’ll be a houseplant, with even less responsibilities, and merely have to sit around looking good.

The results of a quiz I took to see what historical figure I might have been in a past life came up as 100% in favour of Mary Wollstonecraft, Anglo-Irish feminist, intellectual and writer. There is only a ten percent chance that I was Alexander the Great.

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My Cheating Heart

When (if ever) is it okay to cheat?

It’s okay to cheat if you are sure you’ll get away with it and no one will ever find out, especially and in particular, your mother.

I cheat at solitaire.  And scrabble.  And if it wasn’t for the internet ‘cheats’ for Angry Birds Rio I’d have discovered way fewer golden bananas. As it is I only have seven out of fifteen.  Obviously I’m not cheating hard enough.

It’s okay to cheat death.  And cheat like a mad thing when playing the card game Cheat.  Cheating a cheater is fair game too.  And cheating on your diet if you’re reasonably sure the guilt won’t kill you.

Somebody told me once that every good rule has an exception.  Otherwise it’s just not a very good rule.  So if you follow ALL of the rules MOST of the time, it’s pretty easy to avoid detection if you break one or two small ones here and there.  Because you’re normally such a goody two shoes that no one would ever suspect you of being a devious little shit.

It’s not okay to cheat if you’ve made a solemn promise.  Unless you had your fingers crossed behind your back.  And it’s really not okay to cheat if it’s going to seriously hurt someone else.

But if you’re cheating just because you want to win at any cost, I say go for it.  Bend the rules.  Beat the system.  Find a way.

But keep your mother completely in the dark about it.  I really cannot emphasize that enough.

Overheard at My Own Funeral

I’m not having a funeral, or a memorial, or a wake or any of those morbid dreary things. (Anyone out there listening?) But if people decide to get together, I guess I’ll be in no condition to stop them. I sincerely hope they are smart enough to put the “fun” in funeral.  Celebrate my life.  And then please go ahead, guilt free, and get on with your own.

Maggie Miley’s Irish Pub

1. She choked on a ham sandwich? Really? Isn’t that how Mama Cass died?

2. She HATED the nauseating scent of a room full of flowers. Who the hell allowed this to happen? Get them all out of here. Open some windows.

3. I can’t believe the only stipulation in her will about the fate of her ashes is that they not be allowed anywhere near water. She was so weird about water.

4. Randy Newman singing “Feels Like Home”? Ooooooookay……..

5. Are we in a pub? Hey, that’s great! I’ll have an Irish whiskey and a couple of China White shooters. And some of that beer on tap.

6. This seems more like a celebration than a wake. People are laughing about the strange things she said and did in her life. She would have loved that.

7. I notice the people she vowed to haunt did not show up.

8. No memorial stone? No epitaph? No famous last words? But we’ve got a couple hundred copies of her BLOG here??? Huh.

9. I heard that her children and her grandchildren are making the world a better place. She loved them all madly, and they made her so incredibly proud.

10. Okay, if I have any more to drink I’m going to puke. Can somebody PLEASE axe that Randy Newman cd? Good party people! Keep in touch. Love your life.

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