Everybody Should Have One of These Things

Early this morning I drove over to the mall and had my hair cut.  Every time this happens I manage to have a mild anxiety attack, but this time I’ll spare you the details.  It’s hair.  It will grow.  I must enjoy this process, because I keep repeating it.  The salon I went to is right next to Chapters and Starbucks, so it’s no great surprise that I spent another hour there searching for ways to get rid of even more money.

I got stuck in the Self Help section looking at books which want to teach me how to be happy.  And happier. And smarter and richer and more successful and focused and content and gawd only knows what else – I never made it to the bottom shelf.  I actually hate the bottom shelf and think everything in there should be placed at eye level for people like me who don’t feel like bending over.  If there was a book down there with advice on how to get over being so damned lazy I didn’t see it.

There is a happiness quiz in one of the books I decided to bring home with me.  If I pass that with flying colors I suppose I won’t have to read the rest of it. And without any advice at all I managed to buy something that has already made me very happy for inexplicable reasons.

It’s a desktop gargoyle.  I have never had a gargoyle before and until this morning I had no idea that I needed one.  Having inch long spiked up hair no longer matters.  The little book that comes with it says he will protect me from evil spirits and act as a warning to potential evil-doers.  It suggests I should get ready for an exciting life alongside my new beloved fiery-eyed friend.

Even without his eyes lit up he’s pretty impressive.  Available at Chapters.  If there are any more demented shoppers like me out there, these will be gone before you know it.  So get out there and get one NOW.

Throwing Beans

It’s been another beautiful February day and a Friday to boot!  There’s just something about Fridays that makes everyone happy to be alive.  Even if (like me) you have nowhere to go and all weekend to get there.

February 3rd is the anniversary of the day the music died – Buddy Holly, Richie Valens and the Big Bopper plane crash in 1959. I wasn’t quite ten years old when that happened and probably didn’t even know who they were then.  But I’ve loved their music for as long as I can remember.

It’s also Bean Throwing Night in Japan.  Probably better known as Setsubun.  Do you suppose throwing beans here in Canada might bring me some good luck too?  I only have canned ones, so maybe not.  It is a tradition in Japan to eat one bean for every year of your life, and then one more for luck in the coming year.  You can also scatter beans throughout the house to get rid of evil spirits.  What an interesting idea!  I wonder if it works….

Might as well catch myself up on some questions that have been lurking around unanswered while various bean tossing plans bounce around in my brain.

Have you ever thought about writing a book?  Yes I have.  I greatly admire people who have actually gone ahead and done it.  Every time I finish reading a good book I wonder what it must feel like to see your own words and ideas on page after page, and know that there are people out there who will read what you’ve written and appreciate all the time and effort it took for you to put your book together.  I’ve certainly written enough WORDS to fill up a book.  I just need a really great editor to sort it all out for me and make some sense out of it so it’s fit to print.  Where the hell IS that guy??

What’s your least favourite household chore?  I hate all household chores equally.

How was your January, 2012?  Is your year off to a good start?  It was fine, thank you.  And yes it is, actually.  (And this is where the person who asked me these seemingly innocent questions can now start right in on his own tale of woe, going on and on and on about all the horrible things that have happened in his own life, not just this January but in fact from the moment of his birth, and how it’s been the worst year ever so far and there isn’t a hope in hell of things ever getting any better.)   I’m not even kidding.  I know how this person operates.  I still get sucked in every time.

What makes you cry? Funerals.  Weddings.  Births.  Deaths.  Paper cuts.  Sad movies.  Extreme pain.  Sorry I can’t include the never ending story being told by that guy in the previous question.  He’s doing enough crying for both of us.

What’s your favourite thing about Friday?  I love how consistent it is, always arriving right after Thursday.

I wonder if coffee beans would be acceptable projectiles to fire at evil spirits?  I’ve got a whole bag of those in the cupboard. I don’t think it would be wise to eat over sixty of them in one sitting though. Perhaps I’ll just leave this celebration to the Japanese after all.