Tag Archives: funny

Sharing My World 78

IMG_3143

There were no new world sharing questions this week.  Normally this would not be a big deal for me since I am generally clueless about stuff like what day of the week it is at the best of times, and it could be construed as surprising that I even noticed.  But I did.  And consequently I’ve had some remorse about my silence.  I needed my question-answering fix for the week.

So I searched the internet for some random questions that didn’t hurt my brain.  I hope my answers won’t hurt yours too much.

Are you the person now you thought you’d be when you were little?

When I was little I never once imagined myself as anyone’s grandma, that’s for sure.

Now that the grandma thing is happening I realize that all grandmas have a finite number of stories to tell and they just keep on telling them because what the hell else do they have to do?  So if you’ve heard this one before, too bad.  I’m old and I don’t care.

When a teacher asked us to paint a picture of what we wanted to be when we grew up, I imagined myself as a brilliant and beautiful blonde singer on the Ed Sullivan Show.  Sadly in real life I had extreme stage fright, a less than stellar singing voice, and what I considered totally the wrong face for blonde hair.  “Brilliant” and  “beautiful” on their own alas turned out to be insufficient traits for this particular ambition.  Plus Ed died before I could get my shit together.

I guess none of it was meant to be.  But the childhood friends who laughed at me when I shared this dream will forever live in my memory as little jerks.  I knew myself it was not realistic, but could you not have humoured me for five minutes?

Have you ever had your heart-broken?  Have you ever broken someone else’s heart?

Heartbreak is such a subjective thing.  Little things break your heart when you’re little, like when your brother pulls the head off your doll and demands money from you for revealing its current whereabouts.  It’s all about loss, and the losses get progressively bigger and more serious as you grow up.  You lose a good friend, you break up with a boyfriend, you have to abandon an unrealistic dream.  But wait, life has way more heartbreaking stuff to throw at you. A lover moves on and leaves you grieving for what might have been, opportunities disappear, a grandparent dies.  Then you lose your parents and a sibling and you wonder what you were so upset about before those things happened.  And then you wonder how much more breaking your heart can actually take.  Or if it will eventually get so hard and calloused that it just rolls with the punches, because you know those hard knocks aren’t going to stop.

If I’ve caused a broken heart I am truly sorry.  But I believe,  because I can’t think of a specific instance off the top of my head of ever doing it deliberately to anyone,  that maybe it hasn’t happened a lot.  Huh. Well, no doubt there’s still time.

When you think of home, what comes to mind?

After W and I first got married we both thought of where we grew up as home.  As in ‘let’s go home for Christmas.’  It took a long time for us to refer to wherever the two of us currently lived together as our REAL home.  Having kids helped with that because it was their home.  Is that weird or normal?  I seem to ask myself that question a lot and rarely know the answer and probably won’t believe yours anyway, so just ignore that bit.

Now I think you just take home with you wherever you go.  It’s a feeling, more than a place. A sense of peace and love and being safe from harm.  It can be as big as a country or as small as a backyard.  And the people who have broken my heart by leaving were simply on their way home.  I need to suck it up and be thankful I got to walk beside them and share so many small parts of their journey.

Name one of your greatest strengths, and one of your greatest weaknesses.

Adaptation is a big strength.  Because everything changes.  Everything!   Might as well get used to it.

Worry is my most crippling weakness, not to mention a royal pain.  Sometimes when something I’ve been fretting about finally happens it’s a colossal relief because then I can just move on and adapt to it.  And yeah, that one is definitely weird.

What did life teach you yesterday?

It taught me that many people who want to cut sugar out of their diets still want to pretend they are eating things that contain sugar.  They post sugarless, wheatless, grain free, gluten-free, dairy free, diabetic friendly recipes for brownies and cookies and cheesecake and bread.  Why don’t you weirdos just stop eating cupcakes and chocolate mousse and bogus donut shaped things that no one in their right mind can be fooled into believing are bagels?  It won’t kill you to cut desserts out of your diet and just eat a completely un-messed with banana or something.

I’m sorry but “bread” made with sixteen eggs and almond flour is not even remotely close to being bread-like.  Do you really need toast that smells like burnt eggs?  I know I can live without it.

I can also live without eating shortbread and butter tarts although I made them both for W because it’s Christmas and I didn’t want him moping around whining about missing them.  Believe me, no one wants that.  I did not attempt to make a pastry-less, raisin and nutless,  no brown sugar, no corn syrup, butter-substitute loaded tart although I’m sure someone in the world has tried it and will be posting the godforsaken recipe on Facebook shortly.  Do not fall for it.  Some things are meant to be coma inducing sugar bombs and we should just accept that and let them be.

Deep down, who are you really?

Well if all this didn’t give you at least a couple of clues and an ill- informed opinion, I don’t know what to say.

I’m pretty ordinary as humans go.  I guess deep down I’m my mothers daughter, least likely person to ever want to break your heart.  My mother did not laugh at my goal to become a famous singer, she simply told me the picture I drew was nice.

It’s not that hard to be kind. We should probably all try it more often.  And if you’re one of those people trying to make the things we eat healthy, I’m sorry I was snarky, and good for you.  My mom tried to make pie shells once with whole wheat flour.  They were disgusting, but we all knew her heart was in the right place.

Sew Saturday

I’m not actually doing any sewing today, I just like alliteration.  And I used to sew using purchased McCalls and Simplicity patterns, and I found this hilariously funny.  I don’t know, blame it on lack of sleep.  Or how strange these outfits are.

image
I’m not even kidding, we used to wear those bloomer type get ups in gym in high school.
Be thankful those went the way of the dinosaur, and have a fun weekend.

Sharing My World 37

image

My November Days Eleven and Twelve

Share Your World 2015 Week 45

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word “fun”?

Looking it up in the dictionary!  Even if you think you know exactly what a word means, looking it up can be FUN!

fun – noun – something that provides mirth or amusement: A picnic would be fun.
enjoyment or playfulness: She’s full of fun.
—verb (used without object), verb (used with object), funned, fun·ning.

Informal. joke; kid.
—adjective, fun·ner, fun·nest.

Informal. of or pertaining to fun, especially to social fun: a fun thing to do; really a fun person; the funnest game.
Informal. whimsical; flamboyant: The fashions this year are definitely on the fun side.
—Idioms

for / in fun, as a joke; not seriously; playfully: His insults were only in fun.like fun, Informal. certainly not; of doubtful truth: He told us that he finished the exam in an hour. Like fun he did!
make fun of, to make the object of ridicule; deride: The youngsters made fun of their teacher.

Now what could be funner than reading a dictionary?  Is that not one of the funnest  things you’ve done all day??  My spell check wants to change those words to “funnier” and “funniest”, but it doesn’t know everything, does it.  I’m just funning you, so I guess you have been funned.

Fun to me means whatever it takes to make you laugh or feel happy inside.  And afterwards you say to yourself, wow, that was really fun!

What is your favorite time of day?

From early morning to late at night, every single moment I’m alive and breathing.  Even the parts where I’m not having a whole lot of fun.

Given the choice of anyone in the world, with whom would you want to spend an evening?

Our new Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s mother, Margaret (former wife of former Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau).  What a life she has had!  But I expect we might just talk about our grandchildren.  And that would be perfectly fine.

Complete this sentence: Something that anyone can do that will guarantee my smile is…

….compliment me on something.  Isn’t that what makes anyone smile?  It doesn’t have to be much, you can simply say you like my shoes.  And I will say thank you and smile.  And suddenly we will both like each other a little bit more.  Funny how that works.

Bonus question: What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?

I am grateful for an uneventful post surgery week for W and his new super hip and the body’s incredible ability to heal.  I am looking forward to more of that.  And getting back to my art work which has been seriously neglected for too long.  But for now, this temporary lifestyle change has been educational and interesting and has made both of us grateful for a thousand things we normally take for granted.

Hope you all are having a FUN week!  Or a funny week.  Whichever is funner.  Life is too short for anything else.

Art du Jour 61

image
What started out as a serious exploration of watercolour blending quickly turned silly. The left hand side you see here was originally the top, until I held the paper up to let gravity work its magic on the paint flow and this funny sad face appeared. And I found myself enhancing it with a few details.

So if you stand back, it’s just splashes of lovely bright colours. Up close it becomes something which might frighten a small child.

In the many artistic endeavours I’ve come across in the blog world there are some things I really like and some I don’t, and some that don’t particularly move me one way or the other although I can always appreciate the creative process.  Art is a very subjective thing.  And artists are sometimes their own worst critics and very hard on themselves.  Writers are like this too, humbled by what they feel is better work than their own, when it might simply be different – not more or less, not better or worse.

A little humility is a good thing, and working to be better is admirable.  But we should also strive for self-confidence and feeling good about who we are and what we do.  Drawing the line at turning into raving egotistical nut jobs of course.  It’s a fine balance.

All that was a long convoluted way to get to the part where I say positive things about my art. Even when it’s not likely to end up in the Louvre.  Yes, I did just roll my eyes.

I absolutely love these colours, and the hinted at flowers and the splatters of ink.  I love that I’ve learned how too much blending turns into a muddy brown and how I will learn to avoid that in the future.  And I love that I can see faces where they weren’t necessarily meant to be.

Happy Thursday!  I love that I always appear to know what day of the week it is too.  Yay me.

Day Five

Think of a time when you were completely wiped, totally exhausted, bone tired, and just plain done. Not quite dead, but really close. That was supposed to be me after working five days in a row.

But here I am, still conscious, reasonably lucid and almost pleasant to be around.  Huh.  I don’t know what happened.  I expected to be passed out hours ago, comatose and in recovery mode for my two days off.   I realize normal people work five days in a row all the time, but my four working days out of seven are broken up into small spurts with frequent home days in between, so I’m just not used to rising and shining day after day after day.

But when you’re short-staffed because some people quit and other people take vacations, these situations come up and you muddle through.  In varying states of muddle-ness.

I do know I’m tired though, because there are other clues besides falling asleep mid sentence.   When I’m over tired and can’t wind down,  I find really dumb things hilariously funny.  Like this for instance…..

imageHahahaha!  Caught poetry!  Seriously I laughed way too long at this to be considered sane.

On a completely different note, our pair of mallard ducks continue to show up out of the blue every morning and evening because apparently our backyard is a fascinating place.  Or there’s a lot more spilled birdseed out there than we realized.  They are delightful to watch.  We have also had visits from a lone Blue Jay and a Jackrabbit who is all splotchy changing from white to brown.  I feel like I’m living in an enchanted forest.  Another sure sign that I’ve been working too much.

image

Well, there.  That certainly explains many things about this particular little ramble.

I hope you all are having a fabulous weekend!  Mine has just begun.  With any luck I’ll be able to stay awake for some of it.  Maybe take some more miraculous wildlife-in-the-city pictures with my phone. Maybe we should build a duck blind! Maybe not.  I’ll sleep on that one.