My Inner Gardener


I was wandering around in my backyard in the rain yesterday because things are turning green and I thought it might be a good idea to see them up close and in more detail than I am able to discern from my kitchen window.  It was a sort of aimless and ultimately futile search for my inner gardener, which is buried so deep inside me that I fear it will never surface.  Due to lack of encouragement actually.  The above picture is not supposed to be of the dirty basement window or the stepping stone my sister-in-law made for me, but those lovely little white blossoms – or flowers – or whatever they are on my red leafed tree!  Or bush.  I guess it’s a bush.  They’re on only one branch so far.  More would be nice, but I never want to be too optimistic about such things.

This is my idea of a fun addition to the landscape.   It’s one of those creepy solar lights that never worked properly but is too hideous to throw away.  By that I mean that I’m hoping it will serve the purpose of making whatever is growing look awesome in comparrison.  Or something like that.  I haven’t got it all worked out in my mind yet.  But gruesome guy is not going anywhere.

I call this shot “Fake Owl and Strange Bird House Amidst Dead Branches”.  But the branches, on closer inspection, are actually covered in lots of little leafy buds so I trimmed way fewer of them than anticipated.  Plus trimming stuff is a lot like work and I soon got tired of doing it.  Less of them are overhanging onto the grass for now.  Mission accomplished.

I’m including this picture from the front yard because it illustrates how talented both W and I are at putting strange things in flowerbeds in a misguided attempt to draw your attention away from the fact that we can’t really grow anything worth looking at.  I can’t take credit for this amazing little floating head, although I am the one who originally purchased it when it was a cute and colorful ladybug with a body and wings which have since gone missing.  It should be in the garbage.  I have no idea why W felt it belonged here.  Perhaps he is mocking me.  I don’t know.

The fake sunflowers are faded but thriving amongst the empty yellow tomato cages.  And the snake-like garden hose.  We need a new dryer vent.

Ha!  Look at that – rhubarb growing, despite out best efforts to kill it.  I actually put some water on it, and on the place where the meter moving guys dug up our lawn and put down sod which is drying out and looking half dead already. I really don’t think that one is my fault.  And last night we got more rain, so I don’t know why I bother.

But before that, later in the afternoon, the Green Oasis weed control people came and sprayed and fertilized the lawn.  Proving that with a little help I can at least grow grass.

My Dream Home

Picture a quiet location with beautiful country garden landscaping (my dream home comes complete with a full-time gardener, because my own thumbs are anything but green). There are lovely old trees and a couple of benches and some stone paths and a resident squirrel or two. I will insist that my gardener plant daisies everywhere.

The house is chalet style with lots of sparkling clear windows. (I suppose I’ll need a full-time window washer as well.) Inside there is dark wood and lots of red and many nooks and crannies. There is a winding staircase to a loft with a library, a writing desk, a comfy couch and a small studio with excellent light from all the tall windows and the beautiful sky light.

The library will be so fabulous that I’ll never want to be anywhere else, and eventually I’ll forget where I put such mundane things as the kitchen and the linen closet. Already I don’t care. If the library is the only part of this dream that comes true, it will be enough.

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