Dad was never much of a hockey fan, although he liked to comment on Foster Hewitt’s play by play when the rest of us were glued to the tv on a Saturday night, cheering for the Maple Leafs on Hockey Night in Canada.
“What number is that fellow, Abandon?” he asked us once.
“Everybody is always skating down the ice with Reckless Abandon, if you can believe that announcer, and I don’t know, I’m wondering if maybe he has a younger brother at home called Wild.”
We stopped arguing which favourite player was better, Frank Mahovlich or Davey Keon, to laugh at the idea of the Abandon brothers making all the assists.
But then “He shoots…he SCORES!!”popped it right out of our heads.
A vision board is a collage or collection of images of tangible and intangible things you want in your life.
Wow. People who actually make these things for themselves must be super focused and organized and on the ball. And of course have a really good idea about what they want out of life.
I wouldn’t even know where to start. My needs are simple, my wants are few. My head is empty. Therefore my (imaginary) vision board at the moment is pretty bleak and blank.
I’ve always tried to be very careful about the big and important stuff I wish for because things rarely turn out with the results I expect. It’s so much easier to just let life happen without trying to control and force and manipulate the crap out of it. There’s been nothing so far too hard to handle, and a million unexpected moments of joy that I never imagined could happen until they did.
Or maybe I’m simply too old and lazy for such brave visions of the future. I have a year to go before retirement. I would like to survive it. Is there a picture to represent that?
I guess I could put it into words and hang that on my wall – GO TO WORK. STAY ALIVE.
But then what if tomorrow I get run over by a bus? Does that make me a failure? If I had a board covered with pictures of places I’ve never been and people I’ve never met and expensive things I can’t afford and my family had to look at that after I’m gone, it would just make them sad. Poor lady, never got to do any of the crazy things she imagined she might. I would not want them to think my life had not been full because of a few small things it lacked.
If I had made a Vision Board for myself when I was 20, it would not have included pictures of me married to an outdoor camping wildlife enthusiast or living in tiny remote settlements in Canada’s Arctic. But that’s what life handed me, and I happily accepted. I never imagined myself living in Alberta either, but here I am.
I never wished to travel, but I’ve gone on some amazing trips. Next spring I might end up in Greece. But if I don’t, it doesn’t matter. I like my life more or less the way it is. That either makes me content and easy to please, or utterly unambitious and boring. I suppose I am all those things.
There will be no Vision Boards for me. I can see how they would work for some people, helping them to keep their goals and aspirations in view, reminding them where they’re going and what’s important, and inspiring them to stay focussed and full of purpose.
Meanwhile, I’m happy to wander around in the dark and deal with whatever I bump into. At least I know it won’t be one of those boards.
And if I find myself on a beach like this one, I’ll try really hard to cope.
I would like to:
1. Stop making absurd lists.
2. Quit setting ridiculous deadlines.
3. Discontinue establishing meaningless goals.
4. Give up all this crushing negativity and get over myself.
5. Keep breathing.
6. Figure out once and for all what the hell happened to that blue back-pack my son had in grade six so we can put that haunting family question to rest and finally be able to sleep again at night. And for those of you who had forgotten all about it, sorry to bring it up.
7. Stay reasonably sane. Please don’t tell me it’s too late for that.
8. Read another 80 (or more or less) books via Kindle.
9. Write at least three sentences in a row that relate to each other and make sense to someone besides myself. What the hell. Try for four.
10. Clean out the damned fridge. There are things walking around in there.
What are you most proud of achieving so far this year? What are your goals for the second half of the year?
GAWD I’m bad at answering questions like this. Because it’s a question straight off some horrifying job interview. Makes me want to throw something and tell the pompous shit who asked it that I haven’t accomplished a damned thing so far this year, thus there’s no reason on earth for me to be freaking proud of anything and I don’t have any stupid bullshit goals.
Hopefully at an actual job interview I’d be smart enough not to say all that out loud.
Proud is a perfectly ugly word when it means arrogant and self-important. Egomaniacs could use a good strong dose of modest and humble – toning that proud thing down to a more acceptable middle of the road ‘pleased’ or ‘satisfied’.
Then there’s the scary ‘achievement’ notion – an accomplishment – something successfully done and completed. A goal reached. But reaching goals is kind of like rock climbing, there’s always the next one to get to, and the next. Like housework that never ends. I dusted! YAY – goal reached! Do it again tomorrow!
A bus could run over me at any moment, so I’m not feeling any strong sense of urgency to make up some long-term six-months-down-the-road plan of action. Going to concentrate on today instead.
The short-term goal I have in mind for this afternoon is to go to Home Depot and purchase one of those “I’m not wood” benches made of recycled materials that end up looking pretty much exactly like real wood and when I get it home I will put it together outside in the sunshine. I have another goal for tomorrow, which involves a safe and uneventful drive to Calgary to pick up my sister and bring her back here where she can admire my new bench. These goals are personal and will probably not change the world.
And that’s okay. Getting these things done will be pleasing and satisfying non earth-shattering experiences. I’ll be happy with that.
I’m having a problem with Plinky in the last few days since it refuses to complete a ‘share with your blog’ process, and thus I’ve been doing a bit of cutting and pasting instead. Yesterday it asked me to describe my sense of humor. Good Gawd. If you have to sit down and think about how to describe the damned thing, chances are you don’t even have one worth talking about.
Today I’ve been prompted to share my professional goals for the next year, and then the next five years. I would be thrilled beyond belief to be able to share my professional goals for tomorrow if I actually had any. I’m going to a professional conference to learn our professional code of conduct rules in a couple of weeks. Kind of late in my ‘career’ to be making any major changes in that department. How sad is it that we have to be coached in the art of treating other people with fairness and respect.
I live in a state of constant hope that tomorrow’s prompt will inspire, motivate and challenge. And that I will rise up and hit the lofty heights of brilliance! Or just have one minor little epiphany or something. How’s that for a freakin’ goal.
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