Tag Archives: goodbye

No Looking Back

light and shade

 

He leans over the balcony railing with her note in one hand and his half smoked cigarette in the other.  Can’t stay, sorry love, pressing matters, no point waking you up to say goodbye… So many lies.  He wants to believe them and doesn’t know why.

The paper crumples in his fist, drops to the patio stone.  He watches it skitter and dance in the morning breeze.  Imagines her leaving, how she walked, the set of her shoulders, the swing of her hair.  Gone, like that.  With no looking back.

He slowly exhales.  His head hurts.  So does his heart.

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Light and Shade Challenge – 100 words inspired by the above picture and this quote:  She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake – Margot Asquith

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Q and A on the Last Day of May

Cartagena Film Festival office
Cartagena Film Festival office (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Describe the last difficult goodbye you said.  Every goodbye is difficult for me.  Just ask the people who are foolish enough to phone me.  Or ask W, who left for Ontario over a month ago, planning to be gone for 5 or 6 months.  Drive carefully and see you later hardly seemed adequate as proper send-off sentiments.  Any goodbye is easier if you can convince yourself it’s certainly not forever.  Even better if you can just avoid saying it altogether.  Especially when loved ones are physically gone.  As long as you remember them, they can be close forever.

Have you ever attended a film festival?  Not a real one.  But lately I’ve been having my own private little film festivals watching Netflix on my computer into the wee hours at least twice a week.  They keep making suggestions (if you liked that one, you’re gonna LOVE this one….) and I keep adding things to my “list”.  In order to see everything I want to see I’ll have to somehow become immortal.

At what point in your life did you start feeling like an adult?  That would be yesterday around 4:00 p.m.  The feeling did not last long.  It never does.

What are you most looking forward to doing this summer?  Watching the grass grow.  And then watching someone else cut it.  I’ve used up all my holidays until the fall.  I have no trips planned.  I work four days a week and sometimes cover for holidays. So between working and lawn observation and talking about it here, I’d say my schedule is pretty tight.  No one else would say that, so I figured I might as well.

Create a new television show that will delight audiences.  Okay, and then what happens?  Will I get paid for this?  Or are you just toying with me?  Like when I’m asked for advice and then told how stupid it is?   Sorry, I’m not falling for this one.  The most delight I get out of the tv is when it’s turned off.  I don’t think that will  be a really popular option.

Who do you trust with your biggest secrets?  Since I can’t think what those biggest secrets might be, (or if I ever had any they appear to be long forgotten),  I suppose I can trust myself to not go around blurting them out to the world.

Recall one of the best teachers you’ve had.  Everyone I’ve ever met has taught me something.  Life itself is the best teacher.  And age is irrelevant.  Newborn baby, teenager, ninety year old – everyone has wisdom to share.  You just have to shut up and listen, mostly with your heart.  Sometimes with your eyes closed.

Do you think smoking should be banned in all bars and restaurants?  Yes.  And also in all private homes, public places, and parked or moving vehicles.  And anywhere else on the planet that’s not covered by those categories.  People should be encouraged to find a less disgusting way to kill themselves.

Name a song that always puts you in a good mood.  I’ll do better than just name it – listen to this and you will be inspired to figure out your own little happy dance.

If I Could Relive Any Day of My Life

Torn sunset.

It would be the day I went to see my parents who shared a room in a Care Centre and because I’m such an incredibly interesting person, they both fell asleep. It was time for me to go, and I decided not to wake them. I didn’t say goodbye. I just walked away and left them. I could have gone back the next morning before I left to drive to the airport, but I was rushed and I didn’t. Mom passed away a few days later.

I have always hated to say goodbye, but if I could go back and relive that day I would just suck it up and do it. I’d turn myself around and walk back to both of them and nudge them awake and say the things I should have said and not be such a blubbering sobbing mess all this time later just thinking about it.

Gawd. Maybe that’s not the greatest day to relive. Last Wednesday when I went to see Toy Story 3 with my nine-year-old granddaughter. That was a good day. I think I’ll opt for that one instead. Although I ended up crying at the end of the movie when Andy said good-bye to his toys, so maybe we could just skip that part. And maybe add some extra butter on the popcorn.