No, I’m just kidding about crying time. Today was hair cut time again. No amount of crying is acceptable. It’s only hair. At least I still have some.
Although I have had haircuts in the past that shocked me to the verge of tears, today was not one of those days. I think it helps to wait until your hair is such an incredible mess from hell that anything they do to it cannot help but make an improvement. My hair had reached that point and gone a tad beyond.
Most of the time, good hairdressers I stumble upon decide after two or three visits from me to go and work somewhere else, give up the craft altogether, or move out of province or halfway across the world. Or simply far enough away that I am unlikely to ever find them again. Today the original stylist I was booked with had a death in the family and didn’t come to work. To me this sounded infinitely better than having died herself. So someone else had to volunteer to fit me in.
I was lucky enough to get the lady who had to rush off to a physiotherapy session in roughly half an hour. Miss Flying Scissors. She sat me down and told me she was going to put the FUN back into my hair. I had no idea until that moment that it was missing. Or possible to have in the first place.
Fastest hair cut and style of my life. My least favourite part where a hairdresser spritzes and sprays and texturizes and generally fusses forever was pretty much skipped. I was home in record time and able to enjoy the rest of my afternoon off. This included a two-hour nap and some serious bed head that’s a little scary.
Just for fun, and to compliment the fun that’s back in my hair, I googled names of hair salons. Here’s some of my favourites.
1. Curl Up and Dye
2. I’ll Cut You
3. The Hair Port
4. The Best Little Hair House
6. Anita Haircut
7. Great Head Hair Salon
8. British Hairways
9. The Last Strand
10. Grateful Head
I might go to any of those, but not the Ass Hair Salon or Hair Potato. I don’t think my hair could handle THAT much fun.
Doh. As if, in this part of the country, we really need a groundhog to figure that out for us. It’s a beautiful sunshiney day, temperature just slightly below freezing, roads mostly bare. Shadows everywhere. It ain’t spring yet.
First thing this morning I went to a new (to me) place to get my hair cut. It truly was a mess (my hair, not the hair place) because I’ve been cutting it myself for longer than I cared to admit when I was asked. The hairdresser wanted to know why I do that. There are a lot of reasons, actually. Impatience and insanity top the list. But I also know the meaning of ‘just a trim’, and can take off the minimum amount of hair necessary to perk things up. Of course it all eventually gets out of hand and uneven and shapeless but it’s a quick fix for however long it works. No appointment necessary. If there’s a spot I missed yesterday I can just snip away at it today, no worries. Plus I normally hate how a stylist styles my hair and can hardly wait to get home to mess with it. I also rarely like whatever products they’ve mucked about with. My hair is super fine and most body building preparations just weigh it down flat. I also hate looking at myself sitting in front of those huge mirrors, draped in a big black cape, resembling that big fat caterpillar on a mushroom from Alice in Wonderland.
Those mirrors are not flattering. All I really am interested in seeing is my head. I try not to look at the great amounts of hair covering my face and the cape and the floor. Or the look of pained concentration on the face of the poor girl who is trying to turn a shapeless mess into something not quite so scary.
Today I came out of the salon with my head looking pretty much like it does right out of the shower. Hair flat and straight and pasted to my skull. Why do these people think I want to look like that? I do not have an Emma Watson face anymore! Okay, I never did, but you know what I mean. Hair hides wrinkles. Or at least it should give you something else to look at without having to squint your eyes to find it. It’s a lovely precise cut but it’s so short it’s kind of shocking. I don’t like shocks. What all this means is – if an old lady comes out of a hair salon and laughs in disbelief at her own image in her rear view mirror, you can rest assured that it will take at least six weeks worth of hair growth for her to get over herself and back to what she would consider “looking normal.”
Anyway I’ve pouffed it up a bit so I look like a fluffy drowned rat. Much better. I won’t be tempted to pick up those scissors for quite some time.
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