hadeharia (n) The practice of constantly using the word “Hell”
Happy easy listening Sunday everyone. I love this guy and his cover of the Death Cab for Cutie song. Beautiful lyrics, beautiful voice.
“I Will Follow You Into The Dark”
Nope, not gonna tempt fate by saying what the best news I could receive right now might be.
Because then Fate might say to me – really? Is that all you want? You could have wished for a halt to global warming or world peace or no more holes in the ozone layer, but instead you have won the lottery but the world ends tomorrow, so I’d say you pretty much blew that one all to hell.
Imagine that you’re blind, but you have been granted one day to see. What day would you choose? A day from the past? Today? A day in the future?
If I had to do this I suppose I would choose today just to get it over with. Starting right now. Because the first thing I’d like to do is look that deluded sight-granter in the eyes and tell him what I think of his stupid gift. Unless its some kind of punishment or a cruel joke, in which case it all makes more sense.
Not to appear ungrateful or anything but why would you want to do that to someone? What a terrifying experience for me if I’ve been blind since birth. Twenty four hours of trying to cope with a whole new reality and then back to the way things were. Except for the nightmares.
And what a crushing blow if I’ve lost my sight, accepted my blindness and learned to deal with all the changes and then suddenly I get my sight back for a measly DAY just to have to give it up all over again.
There’s a reason why strange things like this aren’t possible and bizarre wishes don’t come true. When you’re given a choice of this hell or that one, your third choice should always be ‘neither of the above’, thank you very much, please go away now and leave me alone. Inflict your miracles on somebody who asked for them.
Do I have any bad habits that I’m trying to kick? Well, of course not, being perfect and all.
Not saying I didn’t ever have any of those nasty things, or that it wasn’t pure hell giving them up. I’ve just found that the longer I live, the more excruciating the process of behaviour change becomes, and the easier it is to simply accept myself exactly the way I am.
We are all creatures of habit, aren’t we? So if one habit is eliminated, it’s just a matter of time before it gets replaced with a new and different one. The trick here is to stop calling the ones you are stuck with ‘bad’.
I like my habits. I choose to believe they are all excellently good ones that do not require kicking of any kind.
One of the very best habits I have is being able to talk myself into believing any kind of nonsense at all as long as it will excuse me from putting forth an effort of any sort.
Effort tires you right out. Getting off ones ass and doing stuff is just so highly over-rated. So I’ve made it a habit to do that as seldom as humanly possible.
Why anyone would want to kick THAT habit, I do not know.
It’s been a long time since I did a “just now” blog, but suddenly, just now, I felt like writing something about this exact moment in time. Which of course has now passed, so it’s already too late. Or is it?
Anyway, all I really wanted to say is that I am once again ecstatically happy to be saying so long to another miserable stupid January! I don’t know why I have such a hate on for this dreadful month. Maybe because it seems to hang around for flaming ever while I struggle to remember to get the last two digits of the new year written down correctly on patient files. This January we had one of the biggest dumps of snow that I can remember for around here; then it turned ridiculously mild and windy so that everything was covered in ice; then the roads were miraculously bare for about three days; then it snowed some more and now it’s insanely cold again. GAH!
Our street got cleared TWICE so I guess I’m thankful for that. It’s sort of like lightning striking more than once in the same spot. Unpredictable and unbelievable and something to talk about, because there’s certainly nothing much else exciting going on.
Our tv service has been upgraded to HD. The Telus people sent us a nice letter explaining how amazing they are and what they were up to; then we got a phone call the day before as a reminder and another one the day after to make sure it all went well. Since I rarely watch tv anymore I had a hard time pretending to care. However, they did send us a new universal remote which I tried to program after the changes took place, since the old one no longer worked, and I thought doing that would be easier in the long run than dealing with W. if he discovered he could no longer power up the set and became comatose or something. To make a long involved story short and easier to digest, the only thing the new remote will do is turn on the power and turn up the volume. Two very important things of course, but it’s supposed to change channels and control the dvd/vcr. I managed to get the old one to stop being such a useless piece of junk and resume its former duties. So now, instead of three remotes, we have four. So that’s certainly simplified things, thank you Telus.
Oh, and speaking of things being simpler, we no longer have a fish. Poor Phineas. Ever since I came home after Christmas he’d been looking a bit strange, swimming sideways and other weird stuff. I went through three (THREE!) different fish tanks and FOUR pumps and I have no idea how many times I cleaned everything and changed the water and stressed myself out over the water conditioner and temperature and filters and food. Probably he died of over stimulation. It was the only way he felt he could possibly get any peace. So I’m done with that. The tank is in the store-room and Phineas is in fish heaven and there will no longer be little red rocks stuck in the kitchen strainer. Everything has a bright side.
Tomorrow I go to the doctor for my regular three-month bp and thyroid check, rx renewal, and random pain of the day complaint. Honestly, I don’t even want to mention that my right shoulder has been feeling dislocated for a month. Because it IS getting better, I swear. It’s probably just a damned January thing, and once February rolls around I’ll be right as rain.
Had to put in a request at work for holidays before the month ended. Another stupid January bothersome pain in the butt. So I picked two weeks in May/June and two more in September. Now I suppose I should figure out what to do with all that time off, although doing absolutely nothing has a certain appeal.
My resolution to write 500 words a day has sort of vanished from my itinerary – I will get back to that on my Ainslee and Lara blather pages. Perhaps I will start in the wee hours of the morning. Wee hours in February being preferable to those in this horrific month from hell. Sorry January, I know it’s not your fault. I should just take a lot of Advil and sleep for 31 days. I’ll try that next year. One day to go! I can SO do this.
No, I wouldn’t describe myself as being spiritual or religious. At least neither of those words comes immediately to mind when I consider ME. Frankly, I’m getting rather bored describing myself every other Plinky prompt. Or maybe I’m just tired and up too late to be pleasant. I could have just zipped off some flippant answer this morning before work but I thought this question deserved more thought and consideration. Now at the end of the day I can no longer imagine anyone even remotely caring what I do or do not believe.
So of course I feel compelled to tell you anyway.
I believe that it is important to let the past go. There are no time machines and no do-overs. We can only move on. I believe it is pointless to worry myself sick about the future imagining every possible horror that could happen. I believe it is possible to live simply and joyfully in the present moment. So most days I don’t believe in reading the newspaper which is always full of depressing crap.
I believe there is no heaven except the one I create for myself, right here, right now. There is no hell except the one I choose to dwell in right here on earth. I have the power to make changes, or the power to accept the things I cannot change and to make peace with them.
I believe in everyone’s freedom of choice and that they can believe or disbelieve any brilliant or stupid thing they want as long as it causes no one else harm. My daughter decided at the age of 9 to believe in reincarnation, because she wanted to make sense of death, and that belief made her happy. (Much happier than her little friend’s notion that if she didn’t go to church every Sunday and get herself saved that she’d end up in hell.)
If your beliefs aren’t a source of joy and happiness to you, better get yourself some new ones. I believe that there are many things on this earth that cannot be stuffed into little boxes and sealed and labeled, right or wrong, black or white, religious, spiritual, scientific, perfectly sane or just plain weird. Everything’s a lovely mix. Pick the things that lift you up and set you free.
And God or Buddha or The Great Fairy King please forgive me if I ever try to force my beliefs on anyone else, no matter how honorable my intentions.
Art and Lifestyle by Brandon Knoll
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How I escaped the cocoon without completely losing my mind
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