My List of All Things ICK

Irrational fears are nothing new.  Everybody has something that pushes an anxiety button causing mild dismay or distress.  Never mind the major phobias, like fear of heights, being closed in, flying, water, spiders, snakes, or being afraid of the dark.  The people who fear these things don’t really believe deep down they’re being all that irrational.  It’s healthy to have a fear of wild animals, for instance.  And therefore camping and hiking and wilderness areas in general.  Really, it’s freaking dangerous out there, what are you DOING?

But I’m not talking about the big things.  It’s the mini phobias that give you the willies or the heebie-jeebies  but don’t seem to have the same effect on everyone else.  And you can’t quite put your finger on any rational reason for that shiver of dread.  It’s those little things that make you cry ICK as you slowly back away, or (worst case scenario) run from the room screaming like a girl.

So here’s my personal list of all things ICK.  In random order of ickyness.

1.  Moths attracted to my reading light and threatening to land anywhere near my head.  Get away from me, or prepare to die.

2.  Rodents (except for squirrels because they should never have been classified as such.  Who did that?)  (Despite the fact that they’re cute, even squirrels better not touch me with those icky little black feet.)

3. Those gross globby white mucous-y  blobby things on cracked raw eggs  Get them OFF.  Gah.

4.  Gummies.  Especially worms.  And I don’t care if they’re shaped like cute little teddy bears or covered in sugar.  That does not disguise their squishy ick factor in the slightest.

5.  June bugs.  Other beetles.  Crawly things that crunch if you step on them.

6.  Dirty fingernails.  Ewww.  What the hell is under there and is it growing? Like mould?

7.  Too ripe bananas.  Black ones push me over the edge.

8.  Globs of toothpaste and spit left in the sink.  Gag.

9.  Slime.  Or anything that resembles slime.  Or feels like slime.  Or might one day turn into some form of slime.

10.  Anything (ANYTHING) that smells weird or dreadful or peculiar or off.  Especially if it turns up in my fridge.

Okay.  On the neurotic ick scale from one to ten, I’d rate myself a three.  Four tops.  Come on.  There are things on that list that are too cringe-worthy for a revulsion to them to ever be considered abnormal.