My List of All Things ICK

Irrational fears are nothing new.  Everybody has something that pushes an anxiety button causing mild dismay or distress.  Never mind the major phobias, like fear of heights, being closed in, flying, water, spiders, snakes, or being afraid of the dark.  The people who fear these things don’t really believe deep down they’re being all that irrational.  It’s healthy to have a fear of wild animals, for instance.  And therefore camping and hiking and wilderness areas in general.  Really, it’s freaking dangerous out there, what are you DOING?

But I’m not talking about the big things.  It’s the mini phobias that give you the willies or the heebie-jeebies  but don’t seem to have the same effect on everyone else.  And you can’t quite put your finger on any rational reason for that shiver of dread.  It’s those little things that make you cry ICK as you slowly back away, or (worst case scenario) run from the room screaming like a girl.

So here’s my personal list of all things ICK.  In random order of ickyness.

1.  Moths attracted to my reading light and threatening to land anywhere near my head.  Get away from me, or prepare to die.

2.  Rodents (except for squirrels because they should never have been classified as such.  Who did that?)  (Despite the fact that they’re cute, even squirrels better not touch me with those icky little black feet.)

3. Those gross globby white mucous-y  blobby things on cracked raw eggs  Get them OFF.  Gah.

4.  Gummies.  Especially worms.  And I don’t care if they’re shaped like cute little teddy bears or covered in sugar.  That does not disguise their squishy ick factor in the slightest.

5.  June bugs.  Other beetles.  Crawly things that crunch if you step on them.

6.  Dirty fingernails.  Ewww.  What the hell is under there and is it growing? Like mould?

7.  Too ripe bananas.  Black ones push me over the edge.

8.  Globs of toothpaste and spit left in the sink.  Gag.

9.  Slime.  Or anything that resembles slime.  Or feels like slime.  Or might one day turn into some form of slime.

10.  Anything (ANYTHING) that smells weird or dreadful or peculiar or off.  Especially if it turns up in my fridge.

Okay.  On the neurotic ick scale from one to ten, I’d rate myself a three.  Four tops.  Come on.  There are things on that list that are too cringe-worthy for a revulsion to them to ever be considered abnormal.

Getting Some Air

Ever had some crazy dramatic thing happen in your life that you’d just like to erase from your memory because it’s too stressful to think about?  I don’t believe I’m a horrible person, but I’m not proud of the fact that I have contributed to something that has come back to bite me in the ass.  Idle talk and meddling and the proverbial grapevine will get you every time.  I think my new mantra needs to be ‘shutup shutup shutup’ or something along those lines.  It starts out with little things and gets blown up into big nasty things when you can’t let the little things go and keep your big mouthed opinions to yourself.  I am so done with it all.  Not with being sympathetic and empathetic (or just plain pathetic) but no more fanning the flames.  And that’s all I’m going to say about that.

Last night I came home from work and poured myself a glass of red wine to lighten the mood.  Several hours and an empty bottle later my mood was quite improved.  The bottle had already been opened – I’m not a total lush.  Just a partial one.  I watched a Jennifer Aniston movie (Picture Perfect) because she’s a much better actress than she gets credit for, and because everyone needs a feel-good, happy ending chick flick every once in awhile to stay sane.  Then, because there was still a bit of wine left to finish off I watched “Fierce Creatures” starring the cast from “A Fish Called Wanda”.  Much weaker plot but still had it’s own laugh out loud moments.  Perhaps by that point a serious documentary might have made me laugh, who knows.

Today I’m making Pulled Pork in my crock pot with my recently acquired Epicure spices.  I really think that should have a different name.  Sounds like something from a Monty Python skit.

I am continuing to read strange things on my kindle, and seriously need to cool it on the 99 cent specials.  Although there’s always the possibility that eventually something will be SO strange that it will warrant commenting upon in a positive fashion, rather than just thinking to myself “omg that was a complete waste of time and brain cells”.

Speaking of brains, I’m keeping mine from going completely numb by playing “Words With Friends” (a much nicer past-time than the real life gossipy version of words with friends) and a couple of other scrabble-like games on Facebook, plus a game in which I have to locate random objects in different pictures.  I’m trying to improve my powers of observation, being the kind of person who can stare right at something for five minutes without really seeing it.  Or with a brain that doesn’t compute to me what I’m actually looking at.  You might think I’m having deep thoughts and that’s perhaps true part of the time.  The other part there’s just nothing going on at all.

Empty head and a closed mouth.  Lofty aspirations.  Wish me luck.  I think I can do it where it matters.