“Miracles happen on Christmas, Pat. Everybody knows that shit.”
― Matthew Quick, The Silver Linings Playbook
Just Jazzy Advent Calendar
“Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” – the White Queen, Alice in Wonderland.
What are the six impossible things you believe in? (If you can only manage one or two, that’s also okay.)
No problem, I can probably manage a dozen. And all before breakfast as well. The White Queen’s got nothing on me. But as impossible as this might sound, I am going to limit myself to six, because breakfast cannot be put off forever.
My guidelines will be the six definitions of impossible.
1. not possible; unable to be, exist, happen, etc. Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, Cupid and the Tooth Fairy. They are all out there. I’ve seen the results of their existence. That’s good enough for me
2. unable to be done, performed, effected, etc.: an impossible assignment. I believe in miracles. They happen all the time. You will never get there in time, you will never walk again, you will never beat this disease, you will never be truly happy – all pessimistic lies. Never, NEVER say never.
3. incapable of being true, as a rumor. Here’s the thing about rumors and gossip – what you hear is no doubt true about somebody, and that somebody is quite possibly the person spreading the misery. We see in others what we most despise in ourselves. You may think it’s impossible to stop the rumors or to shut some one up, but see number 2 above. Miracles happen when gossip is important only to the gossip-er and not the gossip-ee.
4. not to be done, endured, etc., with any degree of reason or propriety: an impossible situation. Perfect example – High School. Raise your hand if you thought you’d never make it out of there alive. And yet, here you are. You endured. It’s kind of amazing the impossible situations that can in fact be endured and lived through and written about later with a great deal of humor which was totally inconceivable at the time it was actually happening to you.
5. utterly impracticable: an impossible plan. I believe I am going to live forever in some form or other. I believe there is life on other planets, life after death, life in other dimensions. One day I believe we will all understand and know everything there is to know about our universe and the cosmos and everything in it, because we are all part of some great connection and learning process and yes, crazy huge master plan. I will HAVE to live forever to get all this figured out properly.
6 . synonyms: unbearable, intolerable, unmanageable. Hmmmph. We can bear, tolerate and manage tiny moments in time. We’re doing it right now. We string these tiny moments together, and voila! There are no impossibilities at all.
So, to sum up, it would appear that I believe in Santa Claus, miracles, gossip, high school, eternal life and living in the moment. What a bizarre list.
I also believe in breakfast and more coffee. And in having an inconceivably miraculous day
Imagine that you’re blind, but you have been granted one day to see. What day would you choose? A day from the past? Today? A day in the future?
If I had to do this I suppose I would choose today just to get it over with. Starting right now. Because the first thing I’d like to do is look that deluded sight-granter in the eyes and tell him what I think of his stupid gift. Unless its some kind of punishment or a cruel joke, in which case it all makes more sense.
Not to appear ungrateful or anything but why would you want to do that to someone? What a terrifying experience for me if I’ve been blind since birth. Twenty four hours of trying to cope with a whole new reality and then back to the way things were. Except for the nightmares.
And what a crushing blow if I’ve lost my sight, accepted my blindness and learned to deal with all the changes and then suddenly I get my sight back for a measly DAY just to have to give it up all over again.
There’s a reason why strange things like this aren’t possible and bizarre wishes don’t come true. When you’re given a choice of this hell or that one, your third choice should always be ‘neither of the above’, thank you very much, please go away now and leave me alone. Inflict your miracles on somebody who asked for them.
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