Saudade Happy Sad

It’s another lovely Prompt for the Promptless from Rarasaur, and another lovely word for which there is no exact translation into English.

Saudade is a Portuguese word that describes a deep emotional state of nostalgic longing for an absent something/someone that one loves. Moreover, it often carries a repressed knowledge that the object of longing will never return.

Saudade was once described as “the love that remains” after someone is gone. Saudade is the recollection of feelings, experiences, places or events that once brought excitement, pleasure, well-being, which now triggers the senses and makes one live again. It can be described as an emptiness, like someone (e.g., one’s children, parents, sibling, grandparents, friends, pets) or something (e.g., places, things one used to do in childhood, or other activities performed in the past) that should be there in a particular moment is missing, and the individual feels this absence. It brings sad and happy feelings all together, sadness for missing and happiness for having experienced the feeling.

Above text and lots more information at : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saudade

visiting aunt may 001

This fuzzy picture to me represents a saudade feeling or moment, because it elicits memories and emotions which are both happy and sad.

Let’s get the sad parts over with first.

1.  Mom and Dad have been gone for almost five years. They aren’t coming back, except in my head.  I miss them.

2.  I miss wearing pink pants.  Come on, you have to admit that pink pants and missing wearing them are both incredibly sad things.

3.  This was my Aunt May’s house.  She’s gone too.  And for all I know, so is her house.  Perhaps the world misses her decorating skills.

4.  I miss having dark brown hair.  But my old face and aging skin doesn’t.

And now for the happy stuff.

1.  I was going to crop off those crooked pictures at the top of this shot, but decided not to.  There’s a weird kind of symmetry going on here – three pictures, three pillows, three people.  One crazy couch from the eighties.  A happy little moment in time.

2.  I remember mom was always smiling and laughing.   Unless she was sleeping.  Although it’s possible she smiled and laughed in her sleep too.

3.  My dad was a handsome man his whole life.  He often put on a serious face for photographs.  But he was rarely serious.

4. There was a whole period of my life when my kids were growing up that flew by in the blink of an eye.  I don’t remember being unhappy, so I guess I wasn’t.

I don’t long to go back in time, although I’m glad to remember the happy times.  I don’t think remembering should make a person sad.  A little nostalgia is fine, and knowing what your journey was like to get to this point is great knowledge to have.  But it’s today that’s important.  The here and the now and the joy of this exact moment.  Being exactly who we are.  Making happy memories with the people we love.  The love we share now will be the love that remains tomorrow.

Life is short – I don’t want to waste a minute of it on emptiness and longing.

Time Saving Tips

I don’t save time, I spend it. Frivolously. I take time and I wallow in it. As if I had all the time in the world.

There are brief episodes in my day when I’m wildly efficient. I can get a patient pre-screened and prepped to see the doctor with all the relevant information on his file and in the computer, because the doctor is on a schedule, and booked appointments should be seen on time. I see contact lens patients myself in a timely fashion. I arrive at work when I’m supposed to, and I leave work when my shift is over. I’m good at paperwork and keeping things organized and finishing things up, because that’s what I get paid to do.

Other than that, I’m flexible as all get out. I’ve never wished for more hours in a day and I don’t really understand the mad rush people invent for themselves in the interests of getting a ridiculous number of tasks accomplished, and then beating themselves up and driving everyone around them insane when there are things to do left over at the end of an exhausting day. Slow down. Calm down. Gear down. Figure out what really matters.

My time-saving tips, for whatever they’re worth:

1. Make a list. Things that need to be taken care of, picked up, dealt with, looked into.

2. Decide which things on the list, if not accomplished today, will cause the world to blow up and life as you know it to end. Hi-lite those items.

3. Realize you’ve misplaced your damned hi-liter and while you’re looking for it, accept the fact that your list has also mysteriously gone missing.

4. Convince yourself that if whatever you were planning on getting done was that important it would be impossible for you to forget it, and rely on your brain and your memory to get you through the day.

5. As list items randomly pop into your head at the end of the day when it’s too late to start anything, jot them down.

6. Repeat from step 2.

And life goes on. Tomorrow is another day with just as many glorious hours in it. Do what makes you happy and gives you a sense of accomplishment. Nothing else is all that important.

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Talk Vs. Text

tète-à-tète

heart to heart

face to face

intercourse of the articulated

elucidated, revelatory kind

I want to look into your eyes

to get the lowdown

the scoop

the inside story

talk to me

touch me

with your hands and with your voice

hefty confabulation

round and heavy and full

please

no spare and skinny text

so lean and emaciated and gaunt

I want to cry for all that’s missing

give me the heart

and the thrust

and the point

from your mouth and not your fingers

whisper, sigh

shout or mutter

doesn’t matter

breathe into my ear

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