I Would Maybe Open the Door Wider

I answered the door that afternoon because I was expecting some registered mail. Normally when I’m home alone being a complete slob I ignore the doorbell. I could be in the shower, is what the bell ringers are supposed to think before they wander off to bother someone else with their offers of “buy a ridiculous number of booster juices and get a free pass to the local mud wrestling contest and a chance to win a hot air balloon ride for six .” Things you don’t need or want or even know exist until some stranger is standing there on your doorstep all ecstatically happy to be the one brightening up your otherwise dull existence with this incredible offer. They always look so pissed off when you turn them down.

Anyway, it’s not so much something I’d take back as something I’d add on to the latest door answering episode. It was Roxanne, our Ward 2 Councillor at the door. And no, I didn’t know she existed either, but she turned out to be a very nice lady going around in her councillors area to say hello and discuss issues or questions about council related stuff. It would have been nice if I’d had any idea at all what is going on in our community and could have conjured up some kind of semi intelligent question to ask her, but it would have been even nicer if it had occurred to me to have her come in for a minute, off the cold doorstep and out of the freezing wind. Hind sight is such a beautiful thing.

She gave me a copy of a little two page newsletter, so now I know there’s a co-op community garden somewhere in the area, measures in the works to calm the traffic on Georgian Way (who knew it had gone wild?), and that the Silver Birch Lodge expansion will include a chapel, a library, an auditorium, recreation areas and a green house. I’m tempted to get an application package just to see what that kind of independent living apartment might cost a person. Having a full-time personal aid might just be cheaper.

And the lovely Roxanne, Councillor, Ward 2, also gave me a coupon for Dairy Queen! I do love a councillor who drops by bearing gifts. So I’m going to subscribe to her newsletter by e-mail, and study up on where the electronic driver feedback signs are located, and maybe even get myself to care about the environmental impact of the 500 kV double circuit transmission power lines that are in the works for the county. And the next time she drops by she’ll think somebody new moved in because I’ll be able to blather away about urban and rural property devaluation, or some such important sounding issue convincing her that it’s dear to my heart and high on my list of priorities, instead of drawing a complete blank and saying ever so vaguely that everything seems to be fine.

And a coupon for a Wendy’s salad – I’ll make that suggestion. Anonymously, and via e-mail, but hey, it’s a start in my sudden blossoming pursuit of community awareness.

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I’ve Lost My Invisible Cat

I’ve Lost My Invisible Cat and Other FV Horror Stories by someone who seriously needs to find a more productive hobby.

The Cheshire Cat as depicted in American McGee...

The Cheshire Cat as depicted in American McGee’s Alice (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I really did  misplace the cat.  Way back when the new Alice in Wonderland movie came out the Farmville people put a Cheshire Cat and a big hookah smoking caterpillar on a hot pink mushroom up for sale and I of course got both of them.  The cat is blue and not exactly pretty so it’s no big deal when it disappears leaving only a little white crescent smile hanging in mid-air.  I re-arranged my entire farm one night when my time would have been better spent sleeping and promptly forgot where I put the cat.  I don’t know what made me suddenly obsess about locating the stupid thing.  It’s in there somewhere.  It’s not easy to pinpoint something that’s invisible.

So, it’s Canada Day once again!  I’m sitting here listening to honking horns and sirens and shouting and cheering noises blowing through my window with the fresh summer breeze.  I guess it’s coming  from the Mall which is a mere two blocks from our house.  And that’s about as close as I’m likely to get to the celebrations.  By the time it’s dark I’ll have forgotten about the inevitable fireworks until the gunshot explosions shatter the darkness.  Then I’ll watch them from my kitchen window.  I’m such a party girl.

It’s a day off for us, but W. has opted to go open the car wash.  Later he’ll come home and complain that it wasn’t at all busy.  That is if he even makes it there.  They’ll have streets closed all over the place.  There’s also construction all along my driving to work route where they’re industriously (hahahaha….insert sarcastic eye rolling here) replacing crumbling sections of curbs.  Mostly they are just putting up barriers and arrows for lane changes and digging holes and generally annoying people like me who forget to go a different way.  I did actually discover a much more timely route which knocks off about five minutes of driving time, but there’s a merge on to a busy highway and then a lane change to the far left, two things I would normally try to avoid.   It takes me to WM on a new street with an entrance to the parking lot at the back of the store.  I also get to drive by the smokers on their break .  There’s a little shack (because Gawd forbid they might ever have to smoke in the rain) and a picnic table about a meter from where the huge trucks lumber by to unload.   Not exactly scenic.  I also avoid ever eating lunch out there.

And speaking of driving, because I sort of was there for a minute, what’s the record for driving with your right signal light flashing and not ever making a right turn?  Six blocks?  Ten?  The guy I was following last night was going for the gold.  Then he suddenly turned his signal off altogether and zipped over two lanes and made a left at a light.  He is one of the reasons why I could never drive for a living without doubling my blood pressure medication.

There are so many count-downs to things on Facebook these days.  The ones for Eclipse and the end of the teachers’ school year thankfully are now over.  One of my teacher friends had it calculated in hours, never mind sleeps.  Now we’re on to waiting for vacations to begin.  I notice nobody ever counts down the fun stuff.  Like – 6 more days until our European holiday comes to an end!  WOOT!!

One other random thing I feel compelled to mention for no particular reason.  Margaret was asked to take over the publication of our store’s newsletter and agreed mostly because it meant we would get a lap top in the Vision Centre.  One day as the deadline approached (its due out tomorrow) she announced to me that I would be in charge of doing the newsletter.  This is what all good managers do – they take on extra work and then they delegate.  Or perhaps she just suddenly remembered that she can’t spell or proofread or recognize grammatical errors.  Not saying she isn’t smart, just challenged when it comes to putting things down on paper.  Turns out the lap top is kept in the personnel office and we have to go and fetch it and take it back.  The publishing program is one I’ve never worked with before this week.  Our promised internet connection isn’t working and neither is the trouble shooting and we can’t spark anyone’s interest in helping us get that up and running.  The store manager has ‘gone to the lake’.  I’m not willing to do the work from home and off the clock like the girl who did the last issue ended up doing because she didn’t have the internet connection at work either.  And the basket in the back of suggestions and newsletter input is empty.  However, I rose to the challenge and got it done.  Put in some policy blather, safety tips, sun awareness advice, contest winners, cartoons, random questions and quotes and a recipe for a Jamaican Jerk sauce for the barbecue fanatics out there.  I wanted to suggest somewhere in large bold type that no one had the right to complain about the newsletter content until the damned basket at the back was full.  But Margaret thought that might be construed as rude.  So the next issue is due in two weeks.  It will be interesting to see if I still have the job of putting it together.  It got me out of seeing a few contact lens patients, so that’s a bonus.

I seem to still be in the newsletter zone, posting a ten topic blog.  Almost feel like going back and arranging it into cute little columns with colored headers.  Almost.  But I don’t have time if I’m ever going to find that blue cat.  Got to get back to the important stuff now.