Well look at me. I was going to take a well-earned day off from posting, but then I remembered that every day is a day off for me and do I really need to spend any of these days doing ABSOLUTELY nothing? Or could I just put that off until tomorrow or some other day.
And then as I was wasting time on Facebook looking at pages that I’ve liked in the past but which never ever come up on my news feed, I came across the following interesting thought-provoking stuff.
Plus W mixed me a spiced rum and orange juice. So I’m not completely responsible.
Yesterday I sat in the waiting room at the specialists office for my follow-up appointment concerning the results of the needle biopsy I had done over two weeks ago. Our holiday in Ontario was wonderful, by the way. I forgot a hundred times that all this was hanging over my head. The time flew by. Time waiting in a doctor’s office does not fly. There were eons of it to look around at all the other people there facing their own worries and battles and challenges. I’m not so special after all. Just another patient to be diagnosed and treated.
And it turns out I’m okay. There is no cancer, there is no lymphoma. Just inflammation from an infection that never cleared. Who knows where or why. Today I start on a course of heavy-duty antibiotics for a month, and return on the 22nd of September to have it all reassessed. The biopsy found nothing. “Nothing” never sounded so good.
You don’t realize how much something is weighing on you until it’s lifted and set aside. The relief is huge. I feel like my life has been given back to me. I know that’s way over the top for drama considering the circumstances, because I would have dealt with a different outcome too, one way or another.
And then this turns out to be the same day Robin Williams decides to end his life. I just don’t get it. We look after the physical body so well, but our mental, emotional and spiritual healing practices need a lot of work. All I know for sure is that no matter how difficult this life might get, I still want to live it.
But maybe that’s because the degree of difficulty has never overwhelmed me. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to battle depression every day of your life.
So are we back to normal here yet? Picking out all the funny little things in life that make us happy? Annoying the hell out of people who have REAL problems?
On a shopping trip, you catch a glimpse of someone stealing. What do you do?
Some qualifiers here would be nice. Is it a child? Some senile old person? A teenager taking a dare? A businessman in an expensive suit? And what is this person making off with – a pack of gum – lip gloss – 3X control top pink panty hose – a duffel bag stuffed with DVD’s?
Doesn’t really matter. I know exactly what I’d do. Absolutely nothing. Except second guess myself and rationalize it all into oblivion. Not my problem, none of my business.
I work in a retail setting up close and personal with people who for all I know may be stealing the place blind. I reported suspicions about a co-worker once to loss prevention and he eventually lost his job. I was kind of glad that no charges were laid. The humiliation in his case seemed punishment enough. When it was all over I didn’t feel all that proud of myself.
I worked with someone else who was put under constant camera surveillance until there was no question about her guilt. She was a nice enough person to work with, but she had problems and issues I guess.
Those were both incredibly uncomfortable situations, and I felt bad for both of these people. And a little angry and a lot disappointed. But mostly confused about their respective motivations. But that’s really none of my business either.
And I guess if I wanted to be the one apprehending criminals I would have become a cop. Or a prosecutor or a judge. I’m also no behaviour therapist and I don’t feel like saving the world.
I don’t have it in me. I keep ME honest. I can sleep at night.
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