Tag Archives: past lives

I Have Answers

Yes, I do.  Ask me anything and I will undoubtedly tell you something which may or may not be helpful, or even relevant.  Like posting this random picture of an odd thing I have hanging in my kitchen.

image

Here are 15 questions of questionable origin (to me) and I am too lazy to figure out where they came from in the first place.  But they are good questions, and these three awesome blogging people answered them and now I will be a copy cat and do it too.  Thank you to –

Knocked over by a feather

Mental in the Midwest

To Breathe is to Write

15-questions-tag

 

What do you think you can do but can’t?

I think I can save everybody.  I think I know how every person in trouble or distress should think and act and feel and what needs to happen to have everything turn out right.  Too bad nobody will listen or cooperate.  I’m not even very good at listening to myself, so why am I surprised.

What’s a difficult word for you to pronounce?

There is more than one.

deterioration (because of that middle syllable),

barbiturate (because of that middle “r”)

and  remuneration (because there’s no numeration involved)

I also sometimes used to stumble over initial phone greetings at work (good afternoon, blah blah blah, how may I direct your call), but usually nobody listens to those either.

What are your favorite TV shows from your childhood?

We didn’t own a television set until I was nine years old.  Half my childhood was already over.  I remember watching Howdy Doody, I Love Lucy, Bonanza, Ed Sullivan, Father Knows Best, Dragnet, Gunsmoke, and Red Skelton.  We also got only one channel.  But look at that.  They broadcast some high quality TV.

What are your virtues and vices?

Most of the time I am kind and generous and patient.   However, I can also be an unforgiving snob.  I’m a work in progress.

What’s more important: love, fame, power, or money?

If you are famous and powerful and rich but don’t have love, too bad for you.  Love isn’t something you can demand or buy.  And without it, where’s the happiness?  Having never been famous, rich or powerful myself I’m making assumptions, of course.  But, as usual,  I still think I’m right.

If you could live in any era/time period, when would it be and why?

According to my psychic, I’m a very old soul and I’ve lived in all of them.  This would explain why I’m so smart and know so much.  Or maybe it was all that great TV I used to watch as a kid.

If you had to redo your entire wardrobe with 2 stores, what would they be and why?

I honestly have no idea.  Where do they sell yoga pants and sweat shirts?

Can you recall what you were doing a year ago on this day?

No, but I looked in my blog archives and discovered that on February 21st, 2014,  I was looking through an old journal and laughing at some of the strange things I had on my ‘grateful’ list.  The last half of the book is blank.  I don’t believe I suddenly stopped being grateful.  Probably lost my pen.

Do you have recurring dreams? If so, explain?

There’s a house I dream about a lot, in which I am being pursued by something (or someone) bad.  It has many staircases and hallways and doors and rooms.  I’m afraid, but I’m also very confident that I know lots of good hiding places.  Wow.  A psychiatrist would have a heyday with that one.

What’s your horoscope?

I am Taurus.  Generous, dependable, patient, pleasant and down to earth.  Also stubborn, self-indulgent, materialistic and lazy.  Well, nobody’s perfect.

What does your dream bedroom look like?

I don’t care as long as it’s warm and the bed is comfortable.  A large percentage of the time I will have my eyes shut in there.

What position do you sleep in?

I have a queen sized bed and I sleep on my side on the edge with my feet hanging out.  Hot feet are the worst.

What are your all time favorite films?

There’s only a handful of films that I’ve watched more than once.  Probably for the same reason that I don’t want to go back and relive any of my past  lifetimes.  Been there, done that, on to the next adventure.  W, on the other hand, can watch a movie a dozen times and never get tired of it.  I watched Bridesmaids three times.  I don’t know what that says about me, but I’m sure it’s probably something good.

What makeup are you currently wearing?

Foundation to even my skin tones (a nice way of saying cover up the blotches and age spots),  eye shadow because I feel naked without it (although it’s hard to see it under those over the eye bags) and lip gloss because chapped lips are just marginally worse than hot feet.  If I’m going somewhere I will add eyeliner and mascara.  But it would have to be somewhere pretty damned important these days.

Do you have neat handwriting? Show us!

imageThis is a large sample in case you want to submit it to an expert for analysis.  To see if the results are in harmony with my Taurian traits.  I think it’s rather sad that cursive writing is going the way of the dinosaur and Ed Sullivan.

Well, that’s enough enlightening crap for this February Saturday.  Hope you’re having a wonderful weekend.  If not, you can always answer these questions yourself to liven things up.  But if you’re busy watching I Love Lucy re-runs,  I understand.

 

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98 Things…

April 21

98 Things A Woman Should Do In Her Lifetime

Today at Chapters I picked up this little book by Rebekah Shardy.  I had two very good reasons for doing so.  I have to go through Chapters when I leave the mall after getting my hair done, and I cannot possibly go through Chapters without buying something.  Okay, three reasons.  There’s just something irresistable about a little four-inch square book.

Some of these 98 things I have already accomplished:

– go a month without shaving your legs  (only a month? hahaha….I am SO past that it isn’t even funny)

– invent a punch that will raise eyebrows and lower inhibitions (come to my house for Christmas.  You will not leave sober.)

– serve something flambe (YES!  I really did do that once!  No buildings burned down!)

– sing to a child.  (Even though it’s not ALWAYS appreciated.) (Rockabye Baby used to make my daughter sob…..”Don’t song mommy!”)

– tell Richard Simmons to just shut up and sit down ( not face to face but via the t.v., which is the next best thing)

These are the ones I really think would be worth trying:

– paint a mural of your imagined past lives (it would have to be a damned big piece of paper)

– teach someone, besides a child, to read

– be someone’s fairy godmother.  Wand optional.

– write an unauthorized biography of your family, including embarrassing photos, a tribute to the infamous black sheep, and favourite recipes.  (Except for the recipes, I could do that!)

– burn a cd with music you want played at your funeral:  baffle generations to come by including the rap song “I Like Big Butts”. (Sadly, I fear no one in my family would find that strange.)

– cry in the rain (If you have to cry, that would be the perfect place for it.)

– remember life is too short for ironing, non fat dairy creamer and regret of any kind.

– don’t indulge in one judgemental thought for an entire day.  Okay, an hour.  (Sigh)

– write three haiku poems about your most amazing, horrible and baffling sexual experiences and frame them for your boudoir.  (OMG.  If I can just keep the hysterical laughter under control for a sufficient length of time I’m sure there are great rewards to be reaped from such an endeavor.)

There is no way in hell I’d ever attempt any of these:

–  stay in a convent for a week.  (What in the world for?  Would it be a test for me, or for them?)

– ride a motorcycle alone across the Nevada desert.  (WHY?  No good could possibly come of it.  Unless someone is trying to kill me.)

– learn to belly dance and integrate it into your lovemaking.  (Okay, this lady does not know my husband.  He already thinks I’m crazy – why add to his arsenal of proof?)

– design a picnic around aphrodisiacs – raw oysters, champagne, rose petal jam on chocolate fingers – then whisper in another’s ear the sensual images that passing clouds suggest.  (See the belly dancing comment above.  He would have me committed.)

And finally, these are all do-able and sound like harmless fun!

Explore your inner pagan by creating your own seasonal rituals:

– at the spring equinox, detox with a juice fast, sauna, and deep muscle massage

– at the summer solstice, hire a manicurist to give pedicures to you and four friends while your pampered klatch sips mint juleps

– at the fall equinox, organize a black clad beatnik poetry reading with the themes of rain, dissolution, and romance

– at the winter solstice, plant a circle of globed candles in a snowdrift and make wishes every night until they burn out

What a great little book!  It also suggests you write an autobiography about the life you didn’t choose.  Gah.  I’m having trouble writing about the one I did choose, complete with my own 98 things I felt were important enough to do in my lifetime.  It’s just fun to see things from a new perspective.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going out to buy some castanets, and then I’m going to practice telepathy with my cat.