The happiness project is complete (although Jazzy will probably continue to pop up sporadically being her brilliantly happy oblivious wine drinking little self) and it’s time to do some actual writing again. For a start, I’m joining the world sharers at last, after thinking about it for 36 weeks.
Share Your World Week 37
List three pet peeves.
1. Public washrooms.
2. People who don’t wash their hands.
3. Improperly installed toilet paper rolls.
What makes you unique?
My tendency to give up when someone resists being convinced of something by my brainless arguments. What? That’s not unique? Well forget it then.
What would be your ideal birthday present, and why?
I would like to receive the gift of good health for the next sixty-five years. Which would make me a hundred and thirty years old with a lot of dead friends and relatives. So forget that one too. Just give me best wishes. I already have too much stuff.
Which way does the toilet paper roll go? Over or under?
Well here’s the thing. It always goes over and down. If it went under and up it would be defying gravity. Think of those gigantic toilet paper rolls in public washrooms that are mounted sideways on the wall. They unwind on the left or on the right. Depending on your perspective, you think they are unrolling from the top or the bottom, but clearly they are unwinding from the top either way. Face the toilet paper roll in your own bathroom which you have installed the wrong way and which you believe to be unrolling from the bottom. Imagine yourself on the other side of it, and you will see it is really unrolling from the top. Trust me on this, I’ve spent a lot of time analyzing it. You could argue that it’s always unrolling from the bottom too, but you’ll just piss people off because they don’t give a shit. Hey, it’s toilet paper we’re talking about, I can use my bathroom words.
Bonus question: What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?
I am grateful to be de-cluttering at a time in my life when I am very likely to completely forget about the things I’ve packed away and never go looking for them again. I’m grateful that my house is looking cleaner and brighter and less like a messed up museum.
This week I will survive four more work days and have just six left to live through before retiring to my messed up museum for good. Or bad, depending on your perspective.