Old Lady Things

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Today’s list was inspired by the temperature outside and a rare bout of insomnia.

Old Lady Things I Am Ready For Already

  1. Bunny Slippers.  Big fat pink ones.
  2. A walk-in sit-down shower.  Ok, I’m not really sold on the sit down part of that yet, but my knee does not like stepping over the side of the bath tub these days.  And it’s not even a very high side.  I’ll be wanting ramps instead of stairs soon.  An elevator would be nice.
  3. One of those robotic vacuum things that bangs around your furniture picking up dirt while you sit on the couch wishing it was less stupid and more thorough.  But if I had one I would likely want to get a cat to ride around on it.
  4. A bunch of flameless candles unlikely to burn the house down if left unattended. With a remote control.  Might as well go all out.
  5. A granny shawl.  Actually two.  One for my shoulders, one for my lap.
  6. A personal shopper.
  7. A personal masseuse.
  8. A chauffeur.
  9. A pool guy.  And yes I know we don’t have a pool.
  10. A tiny home.  I watched a minimalist documentary.  I think I could live that way.  Probably have to give up the pool guy though.

Seriously right now I would settle for just some big ass warm and fuzzy slippers because my feet are freezing.  And I am wearing thermal socks.

This is what my life has become.  I need a nap.

 

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