Kenzie Says

Kenzie (age 10 and a half) (in the middle wearing shades) says writing a blog is probably easy if all you have to do is just answer lots of questions.  So I asked her lots of questions to see what she had to say.  All of these questions are taken from Kid Chat Too (Bret Nicholaus and Paul Laurie)

If you had to paint a message on the roof of your house that could be seen by anyone driving or walking by, what message would you paint there?

Kenzie Lives Here!  Chico Lives Here!  Sal and Johnny Live here!  And My Mom Too! (It’s a pretty big roof.)

Suppose that for one week, instead of saying ‘”hi” to someone you had to greet them with the sound of a farm animal.  What farm animal’s sound would you choose for your greeting?

MOOOOO!  And I’d wear my cow slippers.

For each of the four seasons (spring, summer, fall, winter) what is your favourite sound?

In the spring I like the sound of the rain falling, and the sound of the birds chirping.  In summer I like the sounds of big thunderstorms.  In the fall, the best sound is kids yelling Trick or Treat!  And in the winter – HO HO HO!

If you had to do a job someday that required you to wear a uniform, what job would you want more than any other?

I would like to be an ambulance person, the one who goes in the back of the ambulance with the people who are hurt and takes care of them on the way to the hospital.  Or I could be a person who takes people on a tour, like a guide at a museum, and tells all about the history of something and explains everything, like telling people everything about the titanic and everything that happened.

What do you think will be the most difficult part of being an adult someday?

You have to drive everywhere, and go to a job, and pay all the bills.

If the door to your bedroom could be in any shape you wanted other than the standard rectangle, what shape would you choose for your door?

A circle, or a heart, or a very small square, or a diamond would be cool too.

If you could change your last name to something completely different from what it is now, what would you choose as your new last name?

I like my whole entire name just the way it is.  I’m going to be known as Kenzie my whole entire life.  I really like my name.  Your name kind of tells people who you are.

If a toothpaste company asked you to come up with an all-new flavor of toothpaste for kids, what flavor would you tell them to produce?

Something yummy like chocolate cake and ice cream.  But not exactly.  It would still have to taste like toothpaste or kids would just eat it.

If you could wake up tomorrow morning and be able to speak perfectly any language in the world, what language would you choose?

Chinese, because it sounds kinda cool.  Or maybe Irish or French.  That’s all I can think of right now.

Would you rather have school start earlier in the day and end earlier in the day, or start later in the day and end later in the day?  (In other words, would you rather sleep later in the mornings or come home earlier in the afternoons?)

I’d like to start school at seven o’clock and come home at one thirty!  Actually, I’d like to never go to school again and just stay home.  Because I hate math.  I’d rather have history all day long and learn everything about the titanic and there would be no such thing as math.

Which of the five senses (hearing, sight, smell, taste, touch) do you think would be the hardest to live without?  Which do you think would be the easiest to live without?

It would be easiest to live without smells.  Because think of farting and burping.  Ewwww.  The hardest would be if you couldn’t see.  That would be really really hard.  If you’re blind you need to be good at hearing.  And if you’re deaf, you need to be good at seeing.

If you could permanently rid the world of any one type of insect or other creepy-crawly thing, which one would it be?

I have three.  Flies (I HATE flies, especially horse flies), wasps and hornets, and mosquitoes.  Oh wait, there’s four.  Also great big spiders.  Small and medium ones are okay.

If you could have in your backyard a statue of anything or anyone at all, what or whom would the statue represent?

I would have a big statue of the Titanic!  Or if that’s too big, it could be somebody from the titanic like Molly Brown, or Captain Smith, or Jack, or Bruce Ismay.

If your full name actually appeared in a dictionary, and the editors of that dictionary asked you to write a definition of who you are, what definition would you give yourself?

Kenzie is a very awesome polite girl who is interested in millions of things.  She has a wonderful family (refer to picture of cousins above).  She is happy that she is very thoughtful.  And she likes to eat the icing off the cupcake first.

(Sounds like a future blogger to me.)

Acquired Tastes

What foods will I never develop an acquired taste for?

“Never” sounds so final. I don’t think I will ever eat bugs, but if they’re all that stands between me and starvation, it’s possible that I could suddenly acquire a taste for them. One NEVER knows. Never say never.

What about drinks? Well what about ‘what about’ questions that don’t really ask you anything specific and therefore get answers that are tentative and vague? I don’t like egg nog. I’ve never tasted axel grease but what about you please don’t put any in my coffee.

What’s the most recent purchase that I regret making?  That would be jar of mayonnaise number three. Seriously. Mayo does not have eternal shelf life. I need to start paying closer attention. There’s only so much potato salad you can ingest before you want to quietly lie down and die.

Have I started making any summer travel plans? No I have not. I’m not going anywhere. I’m just going to sit at home and watch my grass grow. In between stretches of filling in for co-workers who put themselves down for holidays in July and August without consulting me first. Morons.

What’s worth paying top dollar for? Horticultural Services. I did not know this until a couple of weeks ago when the lawn care dream team came to my house and power raked and aerated and edge trimmed and zipped around the property front and back with about six lawn mowers at once. It was a beautiful thing to witness. I would have paid double for it. There is of course no need to tell them that and risk having them get all cocky about what a great job they did. I’m thinking about consulting their fully qualified horticulturist to see if there are any organisms in the vegetable kingdom that don’t require water and will grow in the shade. Neither of my thumbs have even the tiniest hint of green anywhere on them. My mere presence appears to cause plants to wither and die. Perhaps he will tell me plastic plants are the answer. There, look at all the money I just saved myself.

Name a movie that you still haven’t gotten around to seeing……too late! I just watched it a couple of days ago. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows Part 1. The most cinematically rewarding chapter yet. That’s what the box says. Horcruxes, lethal snakes, perilous missions, the tragic death of a house elf – this movie has it all.

What social media faux pas bother me the most?

Social Media = Facebook

Faux Pas = embarrassing social blunder or indiscretion

Bother = annoy, worry, confuse

All of the above being set in stone, I would have to say retarded status updates.

Retarded = birdbrained, dim-witted, totally gorked

Okay, are we there yet? I think that gets me all caught up on the latest gorky prompts.

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Missed Prompts

I’ve decided to answer the Plinky prompts I’ve missed this month.  Once you’ve read the questions (and my inane answers) it will be less of a mystery as to why they were passed up in the first place.   That is, besides the fact that I was spending time with family and the internet connection was less than ideal.  Mostly it’s because the questions just confused the hell out of me.

What’s the most important thing I’m putting off?   Well, if it was actually IMPORTANT, I wouldn’t be putting it off.  So although I put many things off in a day, something important would not be included on that list.

Ever considered becoming a vegetarian?  Not really.  I like meat.  I don’t think true vegetarians get enough fat and protein.  Life without fat and protein would be dull.

lol cats – sick of ’em, or can’t get enough?  The last lol cat pic that made me laugh was the one where a kitten is looking at a rubiks cube and saying WTF?  Haven’t seen any lately.  Never think to search for them.

Three things that I want to accomplish before 2011.  Well seriously, if I haven’t accomplished them by now, they better be pretty short-term goals.  I’ve ordered a new kindle so that my daughter and I can share our reading material.  I’ve started drinking protein shakes every morning.  Who knows if that will last.  I get lazy.  And I’ve gone to M&M meats and purchased two lobster tails.  Because OMFG they are so good.  There.  That’s three things.  Done.

What’s my favourite holiday movie?  I don’t have a favourite.  I like to watch new ones.  Although Clark Griswald never gets old.

If there were no consequences, what is the most evil thing you’d do?  Another question from hell.  Every act has consequences.  Otherwise, what’s the point?

Describe what your laugh sounds like.  I don’t have any idea, because for some strange reason when I’m laughing I never think to analyze that.  If I did, I’d probably stop laughing to listen, and have to start over.  If you really want to know the answer to this question, please feel free to tell me something hilarious.

Is it better to know the truth, even when it hurts?   Well, better than what – believing a lie?  Of course it’s good to know the truth.  Even if you don’t believe it.  The question is vague, it deserves an obscurely abstruse response.  Abstruse is my new favourite word, by the way.

What’s your idea of a perfect Sunday?  Having it as the first of two days off in a row makes it pretty perfect.  Any day on which I can curl up in a comfy chair with a great book is a perfect day.  Candles burning.  Dinner in the oven.  Warmth.  Quiet.  Nodding off.  Bliss.

Taking any trips this holiday season?  Yes, actually.  Already accomplished.  A 45 minute plane trip to Grande Prairie.  A three week holiday at “Chalet 2000”.  I don’t even know why it’s been dubbed that, but it’s also known as the ranch and our favourite Christmas destination.  Family is a beautiful thing.

Write a letter to someone you knew in highschool.  Dear Fred:   I’m terribly sorry for treating you badly in grades 9 through 13.  Well, not that I did anything so terrible except to ignore you and not take your crush on me seriously.  And throw up out of your car on the way home from our grad party.  I do hope that drunken episode helped you to put your ill-placed infatuation behind you and move on to better things.  Thanks for the ride.  I wish now that I’d gotten to know you better and had been less of a conceited little snot.  You were sweet.  Probably you still are.  Remember when I said you were too good for me?  At the time I think I didn’t really meant it, but it was completely true!  I hope you had a great life.  I’ll never forget you.  Sincerely, Mademoiselle McArthur

Name three countries you’d like to visit.  I don’t want to go anywhere.  I don’t like to travel.  I want to stay at home.  Leave me alone.

Name someone who deserves more credit.  That would be that guy who wants to buy something incredibly expensive for his significant other, doesn’t have the cash, and needs his credit limit raised.  He deserves it because he’s doing it for somebody else.  If it was just for himself, that wouldn’t be so deserving.

What are your favourite holiday beverages?  Coffee with hazelnut cream or baileys.  Spiced rum and diet Pepsi on ice with a dash of lemon or lime.  Champagne.

Share a photo of something that makes you smile. Kenzie with her “Bella” face.  And Kale looking cuter than Justin Beiber.

 

 

 

 

 

 

How do you stay entertained when you’re snowed in?  See the perfect Sunday above.

Who are the top three funniest people in the world?  Since I don’t know everyone in the world, it’s impossible for me to say.  Justin and Kristen and W. are all pretty funny.  In a funny kind of way.

Well, that takes care of all those days I missed blathering about stupid stuff.  Making it a perfect morning.  And it’s not even Sunday.

This Plinky Thing

 

Sign above "da plinky boat"

Sign above “da plinky boat” (Photo credit: shirokazan)

Just might be fun!  It’s a blog prompt!  For the brain-dead, who want to blather away but need help coming up with a topic!

It’s like having someone give a little push to that creaky door behind which you store your long-lost memories.  Time to reach in, pull one out, dust if off, and deliberate.  Is it good, bad or ugly?  Somewhere in there I’m going to come across a completely amazing one, I just have this feeling.   So ask away Plinky my friend.  I’m ready to start digging.