Laconical Me

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Word Porn (which I follow on Facebook) is my idea of excellent continuing education.  I thought laconic meant lazy, but it turns out it’s way more fun than that.

laconic (adjective luh-KAH-nik)

Definition: using or involving the use of a minimum of words : concise to the point of seeming rude or mysterious

For as long as I can remember people have remarked on how quiet I am, or wondered why I’m being so quiet, or assumed because I have very little to say to them that I’m arrogant and rude.  Or quite possibly incredibly dense.  Well maybe I am all of those things.  But mostly it’s a matter of being an introverted deep thinker with so many things to say I can’t even choose one.  So I just sit there looking all mysterious.

I do quite like the mysterious notion.  I’m so damned mysterious I can’t even figure myself out.

But enough about laconic me.  Another thing I can’t figure out is what to do with all my used Tassimo coffee pods other than just tossing them in the garbage and having them end up as landfill. I love the coffee but the packaging drives me nuts.  The pods (coffee, plastic and foil) are six or seven to a box, two boxes to a package and wrapped in more heavy-duty foil.

I’m waiting for the coffee maker to die so I can evolve into a less wasteful polluting mess of a human being by getting something more Eco friendly.

Today I tried cutting some used pods in half with an exacto knife, emptying the coffee grounds into the compost bin, and then scratching away at the glued on foil so I could put the plastic in the blue recycle bag.  That stuff is hell to get off.  Three destroyed pods, thirty minutes and one cut thumb later, I cleaned up my colossal mess and googled how to recycle Tassimo coffee pods.

Well all on your own you really can’t without hurting yourself.  But there is a company that will sell you a box and a shipping label, and once you’ve filled the box up with used coffee pods,  UPS will come by and pick it up for free and deliver it to the box sellers who then do the separating and recycling for you.  The smallest (cheapest) box is a hundred dollars.

Laconically speaking, F that.

Now are you not relieved that you don’t have to talk to me face to face and listen to my inconsequential rants?  This is why you should never encourage a normally quiet person to say something because once they get going it just might all come out and it’s hard to shut them up.

I’m much better at listening anyway.  So maybe I’ll just stick to that.

Hope you’re having a marvellous last day of March!

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This only pertains to recycling coffee pods. I’m good at pretty much everything else.

Carry On

For the last couple of days I’ve had a hard time getting to my quiet, calm and peaceful place.  Shit happens.  Sometimes it hits you from two different directions at once. What else can you do but stay calm and carry on.

My collection of written work begs to be organized and I’ve been working on that, in an attempt to sort out the little gems from the great pile of crap.  Here’s one that was perhaps a little more inspired than normal.

Do You Think Aliens Have Ever Visited Earth?

Of course they have. I’ve seen the movies. They live among us. But only because their space ships have malfunctioned and can’t be repaired and they’re stuck here indefinitely. Otherwise they’d be long gone. Originally aliens landed here with the intent of taking control and colonizing this planet but now that they’ve seen what a complete bloody mess it’s in that idea has been shelved. There are other worlds where the inhabitants aren’t so dead set on destroying everything around them and making themselves extinct and they’ve chosen to settle in those galaxies of less insanity instead.

Although aliens have cleverly disguised themselves as ordinary human beings (and let’s face it, the choices are infinite because no one is sure what a normal human being actually is), you can recognize one by observing how they shake their heads and roll their eyes and mutter things like ‘what the hell were we thinking’ when no one is paying any attention to them. Plus their skin is a weird blue/green color and they glow in the dark.

I could also tell you all about time travel and parallel dimensions and black holes and alien abduction if you want, but maybe we shouldn’t get ourselves into a state of information overload and blow up our craniums with short circuits and an overdose of b.s. Save those brain cells for thinking up new ways to obliterate the planet. That’ll show those aliens who’s in control.