How To Amuse Yourself While Waiting

My November Day Eight
While waiting this morning at the lab for W to get his blood work done, I saw a poster like this one across the room. The small print was too far away to read, but what would I need to read it for? I am smart and can figure things like this out. Right?

P   Pull something.
A   Agonize over the possibility that you just pulled the wrong thing.
S   Stop pulling random things, you moron!
S   Start running.
Ha! Pretty close, hey?

If you are ever in a burning building with me you will be safe as long as you can run fast.  Beyond that I’m not making any promises.

It’s a rather gloomy overcast day with wet snow and rain and a biting wind.  Perfect for lighting a gingerbread candle and staying the hell indoors.

Hope you’re snug and warm and having a relaxing Sunday afternoon.

Rainy Tuesday

From somewhere on Facebook; mom-isms made in to inspirational posters.

From somewhere on Facebook; mom-isms made in to inspirational posters.

Today is Tuesday and today it rained.  My dad used to answer our pestering-kid questions wanting to know WHEN something was going to happen by telling us “a week from the next rainy Tuesday”.  This answer always made me sigh and roll my eyes and stop asking, but it also made me promise myself that I would keep track of the days of the week and note when it rained and thus be way ahead of the game.  Of course I never did, and if that Tuesday from the last rainy one ever did roll around I would have long forgotten what the question was anyway.  Which was no doubt his intent.

So that’s what I was thinking about this morning when I got up early and went out in the rain and off to the lab for my 8:15 a.m. appointment with the doctors requisition slip for fasting blood work stuffed in my bag.  I had eaten nothing since about 7:00 p.m. the day before.  Unfortunately I had also had almost nothing to drink.  Perhaps somewhere in the back of my little pea sized dehydrated brain I got the prep rules for this mixed up with those for surgery where you can’t even have water.  And because it was earlier than I usually take my meds and I would probably be home in about twenty minutes, I did not take my diuretic.  And I had no coffee.  And the last thing I did before leaving the house was use the bathroom, because mom always made us do that when we were going somewhere, whether we needed to or not.  Obviously my parents were both very influential people.

Can you see where this is going?  I swear there were no check marks at all in the little urinalysis box on that paper, but after I happily gave up three vials of blood the nurse handed me the dreaded styrofoam cup with my name on it.  Saying I didn’t think I’d be able to do it just got me that mom look.  So I asked for some water and headed off to the bathroom.

I was in there for a good twenty minutes.  I drank enough water to drown a horse, until it made me gag.  Then I started to sweat because it was damned hot in that tiny room with my hoodie on, but why take it off when I’m going straight home, right?  Who the hell ever thought peeing in a cup was a good idea?  I couldn’t do it.  I came out with the empty cup in my hand and told them I was going to sit in the waiting room for a bit.  They said they were wondering what happened to my sample, and would I like some water?  Double gag.

Alternately reading emails on my phone and watching the clock from 9:00 to 9:30 with still no urge whatsoever to urinate, I felt like a complete failure.  Asked to do ONE SIMPLE THING and unable to get it done.  Not knowing if giving up was an option.  Would they let me come back later?  Would I have to get another requisition?  What would happen if I smashed the damned cup and told them all they were ridiculous?  I was definitely not living in the moment, and fervently wishing to be somewhere else.

Finally after another fifteen or so minutes of extreme discomfort from all that water and embarrassment for being there so long and senseless frustration with myself I had some small degree of success.  I wonder if that might have been the most minute urine sample ever submitted for testing, but opted not to stick around to find out.

I drove home in the pouring rain, took my medication, drank two cups of coffee and then headed off to the pharmacy to fill my prescriptions and do some shopping and pick up the mail and guess what?  Could not wait to rush back into my house to use the bathroom.

The moral of this story is to always be prepared for whatever is happening being the opposite of what you thought you wanted to happen and have faith that everything will work out exactly right a week from the next rainy Tuesday.  And this Tuesday, even though it is indeed a rainy one,  doesn’t count because the rule is it has to be the NEXT one.

Glad I got that all sorted out.  And you wonder why I don’t like to leave home.

Three Quotes: The End


“The sky both exists and doesn’t exist. It has substance and at the same time doesn’t. And we merely accept that vast expanse and drink it in.”
― Haruki Murakami

Please feel free to take up the challenge of Three Quotes in Three Days.  Thanks again to Laura Bruno Lilly for passing this challenge along to me.

How do you like the blues in that sky?  Is that not a vast expanse worth drinking in?  This is a phone photo taken in the spring through the front window of my car (don’t worry, I was parked).  At first I couldn’t figure out why the top of the sky was such a vivid blue until I remembered with a forehead smack and an eye roll that there’s a blue tint at the top of my windshield.  So there you go, a secret filter photo.  If great photographers are not supposed to reveal their secrets, that’s why I’m not one of them.

Our weather has been up and down and all over the place this week.  The sunny cheery blue sky suddenly grows menacing and dark, the wind comes up and the thunder grumbles and rolls.  Rain falls in buckets or fine mists, but in such short bursts that if you turn away you might miss it.  Then the sun comes back out to say “just kidding” until it’s warm enough again to turn the fans back on.  Rewind and repeat.  About four times a day.

I’ve been using this unpredictable weather as an excuse for not walking to the grocery store which is only a couple of blocks from my house because I would not like to get caught in the rain and struck by lightning.  Even though I am out of coffee cream, which is pretty strong motivation.  And driving there would be the height of slothful lackadaisicalness.  Yes, that is a real word.  It means unwillingness to get off your butt.  Or out of your car to take a normal photo.

Hope your Wednesday is wonderful in a lackadaisical laid back way.  I’ve had fun matching pictures to quotes!  You should try it.

Art du Jour 32

Charcoal makes such a mess.  I’m not sure what all I used here, because I have my drawing things all over the place and often mixed up, but within easy reach. So I tend to grab something and see what it does, and wonder about it later.

I do know this is on drawing paper, not sketch paper.  And that I almost abandoned it half-finished because it wasn’t going the way I expected.  Or fast enough to suit me.  Because, you know, I’ve got a lot of Netflix to watch.  But I walked away and returned to it later, realizing then that it likely wasn’t such a complete disaster after all.

What else is new?  We had our wireless internet upgraded yesterday.  To me there is no noticeable difference, but our monthly bill will change of course.  And here’s the funny part.  Our internet provider has called us every day for over a week to ask us if we would like to have our service upgraded.  Sometimes they ask to speak to me, and sometimes to W.  Both of us have been telling them every single time they call that we have already arranged to have this done.  They called yesterday and we said it was being done.  Today we told them it has been done for the love of gawd and to please stop calling us.  Do none of these idiots ever talk to each other?  Were they all given the same phone list as a joke?  It’s not all that funny anymore.

Happy rainy day in January everybody!  It’s a good day for sorting out pencils and ignoring the phone.

Sharing My World 13


The names of my grandchildren in scrabble letters! The perfect gift from a gifted grand-daughter.

Share Your World 2014 Week 51

Would you prefer snowy winters, or not, and why?

You get what you get, depending on where you choose to live I suppose.  When we lived in the Arctic above the tree line, the winters were long and dark and frozen solid.  So living way down south in the middle of Alberta (which is way up north to many people) seems balmy in comparison.  I have never liked the snow and the cold, but a winter without any snow at all would probably seem weird.  So far this year we haven’t had too much of the white stuff, but now that I’ve said that we’ll get royally dumped on.  No worries, I don’t have to go out in it or shovel it or even look at it if I don’t want to.  That’s what spouses with snow blowers are for.  And snow always eventually goes away.  That’s the part about it I like the best.

So, you’re on your way out and it’s raining. Do you know where your umbrella is or do you frantically search for it all over your apartment/house?

Usually my umbrella is in a basket on the shelf above the coats.  If it’s not there, it’s in my car from the last time I used it and didn’t bring it back in to the house.  It used to get left at work all the time if it was raining when I left to go there and not raining at home time.  No matter where it might be, there will be no frantic searching.  Coats are made with hoods for a reason.  I like the rain.  It doesn’t rain enough here.

Do you prefer your food separated or mixed together?

I don’t really care.  Either way, it’s purpose is to satisfy hunger and supply nourishment.  Sometimes I feel like I’m living in the Hunger Games city of Panem where food is so plentiful we forget it’s not there purely for our entertainment.  We play with fashion and we play with food while there are people in the world who are going without proper clothes or food or shelter,  and who must look at us and question our priorities and our sanity in the grand scheme of things.  A starving child isn’t concerned about the presentation or the proper utensils.  Or what to do with the annoying cereal dust at the bottom of the Cheerios box.

What is set as the background on your computer?

Well, funny you should ask.  I just changed it yesterday.  I was tired of looking at this elephant.

The-beautiful-elephant-sunsetAnd now I am looking at this, where they should also have mentioned coffee and chocolate.

winter books


Bonus question: What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?

I am grateful for the best Christmas yet (every one is the best ever – funny how they just keep getting better…) with all the grandchildren and sons and daughters and dogs.  It was relaxing and delicious.  I shared a bedroom with W, so I had to either learn how to use ear plugs or live with sleep deprivation.  I chose the former.  When he snores, the walls go in and out, I swear, and you can’t hear planes flying overhead.  Now I know what to expect when what’s left of my hearing finally goes.  It was kind of nice in a way, getting up and wandering around and having no idea at all how much noise I might be making.

This week I’m looking forward to New Years Eve and maybe actually making it to midnight with my eyes open!  That seems like a reasonable goal and one that I won’t be too sorry about if (as usual) I don’t make it.