Just in Case You Really Want to Know….

…..And even if you don’t.  I’m falling way behind on my Plinky Inspired Answers to Inane Questions Which Are Reallly Just a Lame Excuse to Talk About Myself Ad Nauseum.  So I’ll just get at ‘er.

Share something you’ve changed your mind about.  I change my mind about inconsequential things roughly every 30 seconds, so my answer to this prompt would be interesting only if I’d ever had a complete change of heart about something earth shatteringly important.  Like global warming or the economy or celebrity nose rings.  I prefer to hover somewhere in the middle when it comes to such weighty issues, looking at both sides of the story and not ever actually making up my mind at all.

What do you think of reality television?  I think it’s about as real as anything else that’s written and scripted and edited to death before it goes on the air.

What’s the most unexpected thing a stranger has ever said to you?  So, not just strange, weird, rude, crazy, incomprehensible, far out or completely ludicrous?   Merely unexpected.  That certainly narrows it down.  Well there was this one old guy at work who came in and sat down and proceded to tell me that I had always given him the most incredible customer service and he really appreciated it and he’d bring all his business to me because I was one of the nicest most knowledgeable opticians he’d ever come across.  I have no idea who he was, and strongly suspect he got me mixed up with somebody else.

Come up with an idea for an awesome prank.  “Awesome Prank” is an oxymoron.  Pranks are rarely awesome.  I would describe them as mostly idiotic, moronic, and pointless.

Could you pull off a different hair color?  I guess that depends on what exactly I’d be trying to pull off or accomplish by changing it.  Jet black or green or flaming orange (orange is in this season!  I read that somewhere, but I don’t think they were talking about hair color),  would probably capture a lot of attention, most of it negative.  My current natural hair color, which is salt and pepper (heavy on the salt) seems to go well with the rest of me right now, so why mess with that.

Milk, dark, or white chocolate?  A question that’s not really a question.  Like “window, middle or aisle?”  Just pick one and get on with your life.  I’m not sure why, but for me, white chocolate easter bunnies just feel wrong.  As do chocolate easter tractors and soccer balls.  Bars and cakes, on the other hand, no matter what time of year, feel right and normal.  Dark chocolate can be bitter, and white chocolate too sweet.  Milk chocolate is okay, but I’d rather have chocolate milk.  With a straw. Out of a little brown carton.

Describe what it feels like when the season begins to change.  Could you not just haul your dumb ass outside and find that out for yourself?  Sorry, but sometimes you just have to say dumb ass or you’ll explode.

If you could be an editor for any magazine, which would you choose?  Magazines are so full of glossy eye blinding advertisements that I can’t be bothered trying to search out the articles.  Half the time it’s impossible even to come across a table of contents.  Editing out the ads would probably not make good business sense, so I’m quite content to leave the editor’s job to somebody else and all those over priced floppy books full of ads on the shelves.

When you need a good laugh, who/what do you turn to?  The Dilbert comic strips and Savage Chickens come to mind.  Yesterday I went to Chapters to get in on their “buy 4 get one free” book deal and picked up “I’m Better Than Your Kids” by Maddox and I’ve been laughing ever since.  It is definitely not everyone’s idea of funny though.  I read a couple of pages out of it to W and his face remained set in stone.

What game are you the champion of? Angry Birds, but only in my own mind. I work on getting all the stars and try not to look at any one else’s stats and get discouraged that there are people out there who are better at blowing up pigs than I am.

Would you ever take a cruise?  Maybe a river cruise would be okay, but for one on the ocean I think I might have to be heavily medicated the entire time.  I don’t like the idea of all that deep water everywhere.  Having never been on any kind of cruise I suppose it’s not fair for me to judge but my uninformed opinion is that sitting around on dry land would be a lot more fun.

Reality Show

“Reality Show” is an oxymoron. Sounds like it should be unscripted drama by ordinary people. The truth is, most of these shows are set in exotic locations where the people are placed in abnormal situations. They are persuaded to act in specific ways. Scenarios, events, conflicts and challenges are carefully chosen for them. People tend to act more emotional and crazy than they normally might, just to get extra camera time. Many of them are humiliated. Then the whole thing is selectively edited to make an entertaining story for the tv audience. How REAL is that when it’s all said and done?

Even for the makeover shows there has to be something completely pathetic about your appearance or your life situation or your home to qualify. Is my wardrobe deplorable enough to get me a spot on “What Not to Wear”? Is my house so dilapidated or my decorating skills so crappy and godawful that “Trading Spaces” might consider me for an episode or two?

Well I hope the answers are no to both of those questions, but who knows. Hopefully I am never in the position where I care to find out. I’ve got no marketable tv talent and very little desire to participate in some glorified soap opera.

I’m living my own reality, and trust me, it’s not bizarre enough to be on tv.

Powered by Plinky