Bungee Jumping or Skydiving?

Why don’t you just shoot me and get it over with? What have I done to deserve two such deadly alternatives?

Free falling from great heights is not my idea of a fabulous time. Obviously I haven’t done either one of these things, so how can I be so sure that I don’t want to try them?

I’ve jumped from high barn beams into hay lofts because my siblings were doing it and it looked like it SHOULD be fun. There was definitely a rush, but for me it came after the landing. Before and during the jumps there was nothing but stone cold fear. And if it felt so good to be safe, why not just stay that way in the first place?

I guess I was not a very adventurous child and I’m an even less adventurous adult. I’ve never understood the urge some people have to put themselves in mortal danger – climbing mountains, driving race cars, diving deep into the sea.

Perhaps I will die by choking on a safe looking peanut butter sandwich and my epitaph will read “She Never Took A Risk” (and died anyway.) Or maybe just ‘she never had any fun.’ Hmmph. I’m going to the kitchen now to use sharp knives and handle boiling water. Later I’m going to take a walk on some sidewalks which are close to roads which often sport TRAFFIC!

Danger is everywhere. Why go looking for it? It can find you on its own.

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Compared to Peanut Butter

I’m going to make another peanut butter sandwich. Want one?

(You love peanut butter more than you love me.)

Of course I don’t.

(Tell me what qualities I have that are just as good as the ones peanut butter has.)

I can do that.

(Good. Go ahead. Think of five.)

You’re smooth.
And soft and soothing.

(Like music?)

Like a summer breeze, like a baby’s sigh, like gentle rain, like fruit in a blender…..

(You should have stopped at gentle rain.)

Sorry.

(It’s okay. Keep going.)

You can also be nutty.
And funny, and off the wall.

(I love to make you laugh.)

You do it more than you realize.

(Hmmph. What else?)

You never need to be refrigerated.
(Come on! You can do better than that.)

You never cause me to suffer a severe allergic reaction.
(Well yay for that.)

Anaphylactic shock is nothing to roll your eyes about.

(No, you’re right. I’m glad I don’t cause you to break out in hives and stop breathing.)

It’s a definite plus in any relationship.

(One to go.)

You are creamy and spreadable and luscious.
(HEY! There’s no need to get all graphic!)

How else can I make you believe I love you more than I love my precious peanut butter?

(Well, okay, that last one did convince me.)

What do you love me more than?

(I guess you would like me to say something profound like ‘life itself’.)

Or, you could just show me how much you love me and whip up that peanut butter sandwich…..

(I suppose you’ve earned it.)

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